Disease of the mind
by Aishiteru till death
Summary: When Hiro's Girlfriend cheats on him with the most unlikely person in the world how will he deal with the pain of being alone. Can he find his kindred spirit..even if there right infront of his eyes? Yaoi fut lemon.
1. My Hotel!

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation or any of it's depressingly staged characters Jokes I would never say something so mean.**

**A/N: This is my first GRAVITATION fic. I have fic's in other series but they are not on this site as of yet. I hope you like this fic. I am having lotsa fun writing it and it makes it so much more fun becuz its from the deliciouse Hiro Nakano's point of view. **

**Disease of the mind**

MY HOTEL!

I slipped into the warm inviting water. The foam lapped softly against my skin. The motions caressed my acing muscles and the aroma of burning sticks of seduction made my head swell. I let my hair fall into the steaming water and hissed as I slid my shoulders under the crystal mirror of water scattered with mounds of foam. My lips parted as a small grunt left my lips. The melody of the water hitting the tub walls lulled me into a state of bliss. My mind no longer swarmed of thoughts. No now there was only one thought...relaxation. Working with an energetic boy such as Shuichi really tuckered a man out. I needed rest but everywhere I looked Shuichi sat there complaining about Yuki. Don't get me wrong I cared about my friend but I didn't exactly care enough to devote every moment to Yuki.

I missed the times when him and me would sit in my room just talking normal boy things but now every moment we shared alone was filled with Yuki. The bastard was not worth Shuichi's time but Shuichi would never see that. Shuichi only saw what he wanted to see. Devoted fan's, Loyal friends, And a loving Boyfriend. Little did he know his so called "loyal friends" were mostly fakes and teases and his "loving boyfriend" thought nothing of him other then a sex toy to vent his frustrations to. It rather reminded me of a stress ball. He would pull Shuichi out seduce him and toy with him until his frustrations were gone then just like that he would put him back...till he got frustrated again them the cycle would continue. I felt the pressure in the room begin to change and decided it would be the best if I just stopped thinking all together but...I found myself remembering the thing that brought me to this current position...alone and rather biter in a bathtub at a hotel.

"There's something I need to talk to you about Hiro..." Her eyes held sadness. The summer breeze toyed with her hair as we stood in the empty park. I had a goofy smile plastered on my face all day thinking of what would come when she had made plans for us to meet in the park. But as I starred in her sorrowful eyes I wished I was still tucked away in my bed.

"_Yes what is it?"_

"_Well I was in the mall the other day and I ran into an old friend of mine...you don't know her...she is from America. She recently came here to live with her husband but...he is tied up in work and hardly ever sees her. She was going to pick up her kids at a soccer game and I...went with her. I spent all last night with her, talking, eating ice cream, and catching up. It seems she is quite sad not seeing her husband and was filing for divorce. She feels no love for him anymore..." At this she starred at the ground avoiding my needy gaze. She pulled her face away from the pavement and looking into my eyes softly spoke. "I can't see you anymore...that night I also discovered that I...harbor feelings for her...Hiro I am sorry." _

_My mind was reeling I was so confused how could she stand there and hurt me like this. I spoke harshly as if I was speaking to my worse hated enemy and not my Girlfriend. "So what does...how could...how do you...she might not!" I was silenced as I starred into her eyes. I already knew what she had brought me out here to say. "You didn't...You bitch!" I spun around my hair whirled around me. I ran the hardest I had ever ran before. I ran to my bike and jumping on it drove fast to my house. I pulled in the driveway but as I stepped in the door I could feel the nausea build in my stomach. The fire rose to my throat and I ran to my bathroom. Warm vomit pooled into my toilet as hot tears pooled in my eyes. I wiped my mouth with a piece of toilet paper and through it into the mess I had just made. _

_I walked into my living room and sat on the small couch. I looked around but all I saw were things that reminded me of her. I stood up and not even bothering to grab my jacket I walked out of my tiny apartment. I didn't bother to lock the door as I grabbed my guitar and keys and into my car. I felt the soft hum of the engine as I slipped out of the driveway. I drove for hours until I found myself at a large hotel I checked myself in and found my room. It was rather large the manager had remembered me from a advertisement and let me in no charge. I closed every drape turned off every light and grabbing a large bottle of liquor grabbed my cigarette's and plopped down in the chair. _

_Slouching I lit my cigarette I watched as the flame danced on the small metal starter and let go. I heaved heavily on the cigarette but even this reminded me of her. I don't know if it was the fact that every time I met her I was smoking or if it was the fact that it was a small thing that held a large amount of poison that slowly killed me. I through the cigarette into a near by ashtray and took a large chuck of bitter sweetness. It was at this point that I decided to sleep. I slept for about a day and then met Shuichi at practice the next day. I was rather cold to him but could you blame me. _

I watched as the candle slowly died out and with that I let my self sink to the bottom of the tub. Maybe if I tried hard enough I could keep myself under and drowned. I came up a few moments later the room temperature hitting me like a cold breeze. I stood up and a few minutes later I sat on my large hotel room bed. I had opened my balcony window and watched as the transparent drapes played with the window. The wind would lure it out the window then just as it was about to follow the wind would blow it back in to the room. Yet another thing reminding me of my little friend Shuichi and my current situation. My fingers saught the right cords and my vocals continued the musical game.

My life perfect

Dreams not needed

World completed

Each thought reminiscent of you

Gone with the wind are the things you'd do

I was sick to speak again

Then you began 

I should've known

Turn away

Make her think your not hurtin

The blood flowing through your veins

blood is not cold

Drive the world away slip away

I wasn't betrayed

My life perfect

Dreams not needed

World completed

Was all I thought of...

Then...

I suddenly tripped over my fingers and lost the beat I was going at. Frustration got the best of me as I laid the guitar down forcefully and standing up went to the balcony. There was a thick sent of alcohol in the air and jumping from my second floor balcony I walked across the fresh grass. Though I was on the second floor it was not that far from the ground so it was almost as if I had only jumped a fence.

I walked down the country road. Gravel crunched loudly under my feet and the soft sound of my clothing rustling in the wind created a lullaby. My faint breathing became raspy and broken. I stopped in the middle of the road letting my weight pull me down I dropped to my knees and tried to contain my sobs. This month has been going so bad the mere thoughts of everything caused me to break down. I could here the faint sound of movement near by but didn't bother move. The sound of an approaching car didn't scare me in the least. If I were struck I would be happy. I heard the car come to a halt and decided to check out what was happening. I looked up and came face to face with...K?

I was almost happy for a moment until I heard the familiar sound of a gun and I was ushered into his car. I slipped into the leather seat. He started the car up again and smootly said

"I would put my seat belt on if I were you" I snorted. How could he possibly think I would just obey his orders like that. Suddenly I was thrown out of my seat as he went in reverse and did a U turn. I starred at him questioningly as we drove. Pulling on my seatbelt I asked.

"Where are we going?" His small smirk faded from his lips and he said

"We are going back to your house. You can't just expect us to leave you at some hotel room. Plus now that your out in the country you are late for every meeting and practice." I snorted once again and looking out the window said

"If that's all then I will wake up earlier." I waited for his response. For the car to turn around instantly anything...but nothing. I turned to face him and noticed he was quite determined.

"NO! you are coming back I cant deal with Shuichi's whining You. Are. Coming." I quickly pulled my seat belt off and grasping the door I shouted.

"So that's what it is. You guys don't want me back you just can't handle Shuichi whining about Yuki." I squeezed my eyes shut as I clutched the door handle and as I began to open the door. I felt the car slow down and stop. I threw the door open and began to climb out. I spun around to yell again when I found him quietly starring out the window. This was odd so I yelled, "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Nothing just leave." I looked down the road and getting back in the car sat down and quietly said "I don't know what's wrong with you but I really don't want to go home." I gently picked up his rough limp hand and tightly squeezing it I whispered. "Everything reminds me of her." At that moment I felt him look up at me and looked directly at him. He looked surprised and a little like he was about to cry but pulled his hand away and starting the car up turned around once again and drove back.

We pulled into the hotel parking lot and walked back to my room. Once in it I threw him a beer and we sat in living room. It was quiet for a while until I heard him whisper. "I heard about what Ayaka did...I'm sorry Hiroshi. It was wrong of her."

"No its ok hahha I think the worse part of it was the fact that she dumped me for a girl." I nervously laughed as I felt him settle his eyes on me again and I looked back again. He looked so sad. His eyes danced with untold pain. Each displaced hair told of a night with out sleep and every inch of his body reeked of depression.

"I didn't know the whole story...a women you say?...how sad." I looked painfully at the floor and added

"Yes quite..." My voice wavered but I held back my torture at speaking of what happened. I heard him shift and looking back found he had moved from the floor to beside me on the couch. He had his arms stretched along the back of the couch, one leg was stretched out along the carpet and the other was pulled back. He looked quite comfortable but I knew he was the most uncomfortable he had ever been.

"My wife left me Hiroshi..." I looked back at him surprised. I hardly knew anything of the women but I knew he loved her greatly and the sheer thought that she would leave him made my heart tighten. That's why he looked like he was being torn apart. Just then I was met with a gun in the face and heard him smoothly say

"Don't you dare feel bad for me Hiroshi. You're the one who needs pity." Then he teasingly added "My wife didn't leave me for a women." Yep the normal K was back. The only thing I had to worry about now was getting rid of the "normal K" until I get over my terrible depression...if I ever do.

**A/N: OOOOOhhhhhhh yeah that was my first chappy I am so excited becuz this is like my first time posting since the incident. Ummm yeah sorry about the bad poem and please read and review..........A.K.A.**

**R&R **


	2. Shadow

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation or any of its characters...legaly...shifty eyes Also I do not own one of the quotes it is thank's to the book Alias Grace I am currently reading...stupid book.**

**A/N: Yeah sorry for the delay and the short chappy but homework is just piling up thank you all. HAHAHAHA. Please read on. **

Gravitation

**Disease of the mind**

Shadow...

It was now four in the morning. K was passed out on the couch with about seven cans of beer around him. I watched as the moon washed over his face. His hair blew in a light breeze and he mumbled something. My body tensed as he moved. His arm he rested over his head lifting the bottom of his shirt up. His pure skin illuminated by the night. I took a sharp breath in as I saw the curves of a six pack in work. His chest heaved lightly as he breathed. His lips parted softly as a small grunt left his throat. I saw the glint of metal and an evil smirk met my features.

I got up from my seat by the window and moved quietly to the sleeping K. I lightly lifted up his shirt and placing my hand over it pulled at his gun. My fingers skimmed his stomach and we both moaned. I kept mine quiet but since K was asleep he couldn't very well hide it. His moan rolled off his tongue causing my ears to pain. If only I could hear that sound once more.

I let go of the gun quickly and jumped back landing on the carpet hard. I saw his eyes open slowly, reflecting the moon beautifully. The blue had turned to an icy color. Though the color was cold there still held warmth. His eyes swam with shades of deep-sea blue yet bits of light morning sky drifted through them. It wasn't until now that I had realized he was looking at me. His lips were in a lazy smile. I had a feeling he knew something I didn't. I watched as he sat up. His hair drifted behind him. I saw him move his hands to his shirt and he pulled it off. All alarms were telling me to look away but I couldn't tear my eyes away. I kept my eyes steady on him.

He threw his shirt to the floor and looking back at me winked and dropped his gun to the floor. I gulped loudly as I watched his muscles flex then unflex. He lay back down his eyes now meeting mine full on. He trailed a finger down his body. He licked the tip and slid it down his neck. He skimmed it over his chest. He ran it over his stomach and ghosted it over the material covering his erection. He arched his back at this and a sharp moan escaped his trembling lips. My breath was coming in short pants and I knew I needed him. I leaned forward then began to crawl over to him. I was sweating and I hadn't even done anything yet.

His eyes were blazing, cold fire melting into pools of blue death. I didn't know if it was the beer, my recent break up, or if I was actually attracted to him but at that moment all I wanted was him. My face was now mere inches from his. Are breath intermingled. Sweet honey drops mixing with spicy ginger. My hunger wasn't only for release or for the man in front of me but it was also for someone to hold me, someone who wanted me.

I moved closer breathing in the smell of hot lust. The smell of gentle wanting. My breath hitched as I felt the faint brush of his lips across mine. I wanted him to kiss me. I wanted him to feel me. I starred straight into his eyes and then with out a warning I heard a faint 'click'. I froze as I felt the cold metal resting on my temple. My breathing stopped and I starred at still lust filled eyes. Then he began to speak.

"What did I say Hiroshi none of that." He let the gun drop and looking to his left laughed and whispered "you know I'm not like that." I felt my heart beat begin to die each breath became harder to make and I felt as if I would cry. I didn't know why but it hurt me for him to say that.

I plopped down on the floor in front of K and throwing my hand behind my head scratched it nervously.

"You know I didn't mean it. I leaned back and propping myself up on my elbows took along swig of his beer." I began to cough and suddenly he was right in front of me. He held the beer with one hand and the back of my head with the other. He laughed briefly and then looking back at me seriously said

"Are you gong to be ok Hiro." His eyes were intense. It spilled warmth into my body and I nodded in order to answer the question. I coughed softly and he let go of me. He picked the beer up and putting it on the table laughed.

"That was my screech I get it imported in from Canada. Actually more specifically Newfoundland. **(A/N: Most peeps think it is Newfie but really it is just diluted Jamaican rum.)** You don't want it you will get wasted way to fast." I gave him a stupid look and grabbing the bottle teased

"And your not?" His eyes locked with mine and he whispered

"What makes you think that?" He was mocking me and I would not take it.

"If you weren't wasted you wouldn't have done what you did when you woke up." He gave me a teasing smirk and whispered

"Maybe I would have..." My head swarmed with thoughts of him wanting me and I gulped down a large amount of the "liquid K" as I put it Dangerous yet tantalizing. Ten minutes later

before I know it I was lying on the carpet with him straddling my hips. His heat felt delicious against me. I felt him shift and looking at him slurred.

(For anyone who doesn't speak drunk I will translate what Hiro says)

"Wader ya doon?" – what are you doing?- He leaned close to me and whispered.

"Getting closer to you." My heat rose and I moaned as I felt his breath touch my lips.

"Why?" I felt him shift his eyes lower and he mumbled

"Why don't you ask me why I have been calling you Hiro? Or have you not noticed?" I huffed loudly and spoke.

"Yur wird." (Your weird) His breath rolled across my cheek.

"Maybe I'm just intoxicated by you."

"I tha uo wernthat way." (I thought you weren't that way.) His lips formed to each word sensually making me wish I hadn't asked that question. He lingered each spoken word just the right way. He made my body hurt just by looking at me.

"Maybe I lied." His breath lingered against my lips making me kiss the air. Longing circled every inch of my interior. My blood clotting in one certain area. I fought to keep my constricting garments on. Each breath taking a millennia to achieve.

"Why?" I was able to form one word now. His nose brushed along mine. His hair slid up my ear chill's screamed up my spine and I moaned against my better judgment.

"Because I have wanted you for so long Hiro...Hiro...I like calling you that...its more...intimate." His eyes were clouded over. So many emotions mixing into one big one. I felt him move closer to me. All time seemed to stand still as I starred into his soft face. So many things about it I had never noticed. The fine movement of his soft lips each impression. His hair held the colors of summer the color of a warm day melting into the evening.

Was I doing the exact thing Shuichi had done? Was I only seeing the part of K I wanted to because he is here? No one else came looking for me. No one else wanted me back. It was he. Someone wanted me. Someone didn't want to see me hurt.

I could see the unshed tears in his eyes his soul pounding to get out. Bound by the shackles his small sanity held on it. He wanted to be free. He wanted to show himself to her. He wanted to open up and give her everything and she tore it away. I was there now and I would return this, this part of him bound inside. Being hidden behind a vale of laughter and alcohol. Had I missed this? Everything about him that screamed sadness...depression. I must have.

It surprised me how the most uncommon people felt these emotions. The ones you expect to be happy and gentle are really sad and violent. They are the ones that when you don't see them are crying.

This was K. I saw him laughing making jokes of everything. But when we are alone he is sad and lonely and oh so gentle. He wasn't just my manager he was my friend.

My fingers slipped to the back of his neck as he closed the distance. I press my hot wet lips against his. I breathed heavily my world spinning out of control letting me know I wasn't just dreaming, or was it informing me that I was. My body reacted just as my lips. Revealing parts of my sexuality I wasn't aware of. Actually come to think of it when had I ever shown any interest in men? I had always teased Shuichi about his homosexuality but maybe I only did that because I was afraid of the truth I was afraid to admit that I myself was interested in men.

Suddenly everything made sense. The only reason I had such a sad look on Shuichi and Yuki's relationship was because I myself liked Shuichi. That still didn't explain something though. Why was I kissing K. why was I kissing a man up until now I had found utterly annoying? Could it have been that I just never saw the good parts of K. His humor, His strength, His Intelligence, and most of all his well...size.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and moaning loudly whispered.

"Shuichi..." I felt him pull away and then suddenly he was gone. He was sitting where I had recently vacated. I stumbled upon my elbows and starred at him hard. He looked away toward the window and I couldn't see why he had pulled away. I fought over weather I should get up or not but the sheer thought of moving sickened me at the moment.

"You should get to sleep. We have a long day tomorrow." I would have protested if I hadn't seen that glint in his eyes...no not the evil one...far from the evil one. This one was sad almost like he was going to cry...or maybe...he was already. I inhaled hard at this thought.

I plopped back down on my back and stared at the ceiling all thoughts of that night blurring into one giant nightmare. Yet it felt like a dream. It felt to sweet to be a nightmare but to terrible to be a dream. My mind spun how could I put it all in order. Everything felt so out of order. My mind as messy as a gas station washroom.

"Aren't you going to sleep on the bed Hiroshi?" I looked gently at him confused completely. He was calling me Hiroshi again...why was this? I thought he liked calling me Hiro.

"Naw like thfler." (Naw I like the floor.) He huffed angrily and chuckling softly mumbled

"You can't get up can you?" I shot him a shocked look and yelled as best I could in my current position.

"mmm I can!" He laughed louder this time and said

"Hey you formed somewhat a sentence there." I laughed sarcastically and banged my head off the floor. I heard him sigh sadly and looking toward him coughed out.

"Whasup" It came out slurred and I sounded more like I was trying to pull off slang of some sort.

"Hiroshi...since I know you will not remember I want you to at least hear it...I've loved you since day one I've just been so emotionally unattached from you. I was afraid of what we could become. I seem sometimes to have a heart of stone once it comes to this stuff. I can't exactly explain it but I just get so cold. It's hard to open up." I couldn't help it and found myself crawling over to him. I placed my elbows on his thighs and starring into his deep blue eyes I whispered.

"But hearts of stone are notoriously more demanding of loves comforts then the other kind." With this I traced my fingers over his lips gently running them under his chin. I kept eye contact and waited for his response. Something changed in his eyes at that moment and I felt compelled to hold him but just as I was about to move he began to talk.

"But I will have to wait a long time before I can find someone that devoting. To spend such time on a selfish heart such as mine." He had that look again but this time my world began to spin again and everything went black.

Authors POV

Hiro was passed out his head lying softly on K's lap. K stroked the soft locks and tangled his fingers in it. His lips softly beginning to move as he spoke.

"Your not devoted to me Hiro-kun it is Shuichi you are devoted to...to take you as mine would be selfish...that would only feed my selfishness. That is why tomorrow I will forget this or more like you will forget this and I will sit here knowing what happened tonight but I will not tell you I remember nor will I tell anyone else for that would only be wishful thinking on my part." He sits here tonight holding Hiro tears unshed sparkling in his eyes because he knows tomorrow Hiro will forget him again and he will be yet again in the shadows.

**A/N: AAAAAWWWWWW that was so sweet even I have to say that hahahah. I am so weird yeah well with out further ado here are the responses. **

**Chapter responses:**

**Lexers:** No I don't think you mentioned his hair lol. Really he is the hottest character. I don't know why they pair them but did I really ever say for sure I was going to pair those two? 

**Eitriarch: **We all no he was meant to be gay hahahaha. He is so hot hahah. I'm glad it made your day. It's a huge compliment.

**LittleMissYaoi: **I can't say for sure what coupling this is but you can guess. I like that couple to. I'm glad you like my story so much. I thought it would be crap.

**Dark-Dreams-69: **DO I sense pervertedness in your name. How do you know what school I go to. OMG you are a stalker. HAHAHA. Thanx see ya.

**Sesaru: **How dare you hypnotize me I can hypnotize myself lol. Naw actually when I read your review I had to show it to all my friends I loved it thank you.

**Silverone: **Wow you really put a lot of thought into my review. Yours was another review I took a lot of interest in please though I was kinda confused bout it so if you could clear that up I would much appreciate that thank you.

**Lady Insomnia: **HAHAHAH I know Ayaka was very stupid about how she dumped him but hey it's the stupidity of some women. I am so happy you reviewed thanx byes.

**A/N: Well that's my chappy R&R **


	3. Bloody heart

**Disclaimer: **I do not own gravi I wish everyday but it just doesn't happen I don't know why.

**A/N: **Wow I found out through my reviews that some peeps actually read this part hahaha. I wrote I wrote. I am so glad I am getting such good reviews for this story. Well I need to get going but I hope you enjoy this chappy and for heavens sake why don't you guys just add me to your Author alert it keeps you from having to keep checking. Anyway gotta run. Nites. This chappy is bigger!

**Disease of the mind**

_Bloody heart_

I woke up the bright sun shining in my eyes. Every muscle in my body hurt like a bitch and I struggled to keep my head from spinning off. I was trying to gather all my thoughts. Was last night a dream?

_My fingers slipped to the back of his neck as he closed the distance. I press my hot wet lips against his. I breathed heavily my world spinning out of control letting me know I wasn't just dreaming, or was it informing me that I was. My body reacted just as my lips. Revealing parts of my sexuality I wasn't aware of._

I had dreamt of being with Shuichi before but never K. Being with K was like being with Yuki its just wrong. But the whole dream was so realistic every bit of it scaring me. especially near the ending.

"_Hiroshi...since I know you will not remember I want you to at least hear it...I've loved you since day one I've just been so emotionally unattached from you. I was afraid of what we could become. I seem sometimes to have a heart of stone once it comes to this stuff. I can't exactly explain it but I just get so cold. It's hard to open up." I couldn't help it and found myself crawling over to him. I placed my elbows on his thighs and starring into his deep blue eyes I whispered. _

"_But hearts of stone are notoriously more demanding of loves comforts then the other kind."_

Could that have all been real? I opened my eyes and found a glass infront of my vision. I blinked once and noticed someone was holding a glass over my face. I grabbed a hold and once I moved it and realized it was...K. I stumbled up and fell forward. I was in his arms now and I looked into his eyes warmly then standing heard him say.

"Your door was open so I came in this morning and found you on the floor. I cleaned your mess up and waited for you to wake as I got a shower." I stood there stund and closing my mouth asked.

"So when did you get here?" He rubbed his head nervously and laughed.

"Oh about six this morning." I let out a small huff and walked toward the bed sitting down.

"Oh...I see." He leaned down and picking up the glass refilled it and passed it to me.

"Here drink this and take some Tylenol it will ease the pain." I grabbed the glass and small capsule from him and gulping down the glass. Heard the faint sound of a trigger.

"Ok now that you have taken that lets get in the car and to the rehearsal."

About ten minutes later we sat in his car. He had the radio blasting and he was singing happily along to one of our hit songs. I drowned out the music and sat starring out my window. All day my dream was running through my head. Stupid disgusting dream. To think this idiot would be so deep. Yeah he's about as deep as a kiddy pool. I looked back at the happy man and starred through him. It was simple I was disgusted...who could think this way about him. Who could be attracted to him?

He looked like he hadn't slept for days. He was probably up all night trying to bum sex off his wife. I was surprised she hadn't left him already. I shunned myself for thinking that. I was annoyed with the man but I had no right to say things like this no matter how true it was.

The car pulled into a parking lot and I stepped out. I still had a slight headacke so the light reflecting off the ground was blinding. We stepped into the building and suddenly I was tackeled by a small fluffy pink thing

"Shuichi!" He was on top of me his small legs strattling mine. Suddenly flashes of my dream popped into my head.

I...I...I...liked...Shuichi" I looked back at him. His legs were warming my body his. I could feel him rubbing against me and kept a moan in. His hair framed his face delicately...beautifully...his small shirt showed off his navel. My body was burning up. The formation of his newly acquired muscles glistened with sweat...he must have been practicing before I got there. His eye glowed with a gentle loving look. His lips were in a small pout and I wanted to claim them with mine.

He wore a sweater with the sleeves torn off, A pair of long cargo shorts and his usual runners. Even though this was his normal outfit I still found it irresistible. I wondered what lay under the clothing but held back my urge. Suddenly I clued back in and heard K speaking.

"Come on Shuichi Hiro doesn't want to go to one of Yuki's signings with you. I saw the sad look on Shuichi's face and jumping up yelled.

"K you must not know me of course I would like to." I turned to Shuichi and giving him a thumbs up excitedly winked. A bright smile graced his face and he happily.

"Ok then it a date." He hugged me tightly then running off yelled "Come on then we need to practice." I smiled shyly and letting the blush seep through followed him coolly. I couldn't let my reputation be ruined. I saw a sad look on K's face and for a split second felt bad for him. I didn't know why but for some reason I felt like his sadness was because of me. I burshed this off and walking into the practise room through on my guitar and began to play some cords from the night before. I hadn't noticed the others in the middle of another song and before I knew it I was playing a whole new song singing it too.

My life perfect

Dreams not needed

World completed

Each thought reminiscent of you

Gone with the wind are the things you'd do

I was sick to speak again

Then you began 

I should've known

Turn away

Make her think your not hurtin

The blood flowing through your veins

blood is not cold

Drive the world away slip away

I wasn't betrayed

My life perfect

Dreams not needed

World completed

Was all I thought of...

Then...

When I was alone

Kept striving

to keep living

so that in the ending

Im not lonely

And I'll keep finishing

I saw the look those eyes held

Not the look which I once held

But one that's lasted

Cast a spell

Kept me dreaming

I still need you...

My life not perfect...

Dreams needed...

World still incomplete...

Was that all I thought of...

Then...

I ended the song there. My eyelids still squeezed shut. I opened them softly and starred into the eyes of a few very astonished workers. My face tinted with a light blush and I covered it with my hair as I bent over and picked up my pick.

"So what are we all waiting for lets get practicing already?" They still starred so I gave them an angry glare and yelled "What is the problem." I heard footsteps behind me and spinning around realized it was K. He leaned on the wall behind me and said

"What is that song titled Hiroshi?" I gave him a stupid look and spinning back around whispered

"None of your business." I heard a soft cough and he again said

"Hiroshi what is it titled?" I began to tune my guitar quietly and didn't answer. He acted like I was his frigen child. I would not just listen to him because he had a little old gun. I expected it to be out right about now but instead he just...talked.

"Hiro..." a shocked look crept on to my face as he sternly used my nickname. I felt like I had heard him use it before but I knew he didn't use it...he felt it was to intimate...idiot. so I was just being stupid. I again ignored him as I began to play a few cords quietly. I guess I had upset him because the tension in the room built to the bursting point.

"Nakano!..." I sat there frozen for a few minutes as the sound of my name echoed off the walls and through out my head. I set my guitar down on the floor as I began to get up. It was silent through the whole room as I walked toward K.

Left foot...right foot...left foot...

The clock ticked down louder than the sound of my feet hitting the floor.

I stopped a meter away from him and looking at the tiled floor I whispered

"Stupid BASTARD!" I moved my arm back starring at him heatedly as I threw my fist into his jaw. I watched the blood splatter against the wall beside him as he sunk to the floor. I rubbed my hand and turning around mumbled. "Don't let me EVER here you call me THAT again..." I then walked out of the room and into the elevator.

Authors POV

A broken heart lay bloody on the floor leaning against a wall. His feelings torn out and strewn across an empty room. No one there to help him pick up the pieces for he is all by himself and forever will stay that way. Alone and bloody.

**Chapter Responses **

**(feel free to add me to MSN if you like to talk I am very open with that ) Also you can ask me anything in your reviews I am very open...ex. Age, gender, sexual orientation lol what ever. Or you could just check my profile. **

**Eitriarch: **Thankyou so much I have never had someone actually quote my story. You are such a sweet heart. It was Hiro who was drunk luv. K was buzzed he just likes to not admit it. Its ok that you just started reading this fanfiction I only started reading Gravi this year. As for the quote I put it in becuz I take it from my own personal experiences. That line is straight from my heart I do believe that.

**Zoey Lives: **Well unfortunately he does. Please don't cry luv I promise everything will work out for the best. It's my story of course it will. May I ask where you got your name?

**Lady Insomnia:** Yes he is a poor soul. Its ok that you cant think of anything to say. just the fact that you reviewed has made my day. Judging by your name I am guessing you wont review again since you are lady insomnia. Lol Jokes.

**Sesaru:** Well...I am thinking millions apon millions of years. That's how long I get to take before I update. You want more? Wow someone's a lil randy hahahahah sorry if you know me at all I am quite the hentai so I may scare you once in a while. Have I dirtied your virgin ears? Hmmmmmm...A stalker...that sounds like fun. Okay...okay here I wrote more you happy...I dun mind a visitor winks Oh before I leave feel free to add me to your MSN you interest me lil one hahaha. Im scary hahah.

**LittleMissYaoi:** Thank you that is very nice of you to say. AWWWW you luv it that much I am honored. Yes I feel bad for K too. Im so mean. Don't worry luv he somewhat remembered something. Yes I liked the shirt part to but my fave part was when Hiro looks into K's eyes and describes them. I am so happy you read my authors note. I didn't think anyone read those things lol. Byes.

**Guren:** I have written more YAY well that's what happened next lol.

**A/N: **Well that was the chappy. Now I have a proposal for those who actually read my Author Notes. I will give unreleased info on one of the characters past that will tie in strongly with the story. For the first person to answer correctly I will give the info and for the people who guess write after I will give hints. I like to do these things and if a lot of people try to answer I will do another in the near future. Now the question is.

Q: Who was I talking about in the last paragraph? (The one about the bloody heart)

**R&R **


	4. My truest kiss

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Gravitation! I own a jacket and a leaf and maybe a fence here and there.

**A/N:** This is all thanx to you guys everything. Everyone who reviews helps me to complete a new chapter. I will be revealing the true answer to the question at the end of this chappy. Well what are you waiting for go on read...

Gravitation

**Disease of the mind**  
_My truest kiss_

K POV

I lifted myself off the cold floor. I felt as if my jaw was broken pain throbbing through it. I felt a hand on my jaw and looking down a few centimeters I found Ryuichi. He starred up at me his bright violet eyes starring up at me in wonder. I long for the day when I could be as happy as he is. Always have that shimmer in my eyes, that beautiful reflection of happiness. He pouts softly and I can't help but gulp loudly. I have always been a softy once it came to pouters. Those soft lips plump full holding unmistakable tenderness and they are always for one person always meant to be long to one person only. In this case I hadn't yet figured out who that lucky boy was...yes, yes I did indeed say boy.

One day I will find out. One day when I am not expecting it I will find him in his arms. Those soft pouter's lips being abused by harsh demanding lips and I will sulk not because I care about him in that way. But because I care about him as a younger brother and as an older brother I don't want any ones lips on what I have grown up with. I don't want anyone to take away the innocence of those soft pouters lips.

I come back to reality as he rubs my jaw softly and whispers.

"We need to talk in the other room...privately...now." The seriousness in his voice throws me off and I follow him slowly feeling the heat of every ones eyes on my back. Apparently I have done something wrong that I deserve heated looks over. I step into the sound proof recording room. Ryuichi shuts the door behind me and locks it then turning around whispers.

"what is it with you...is it what I suspect?" My body tenses and I hate to say the word lingering on my tongue because I know it will hurt him for the same reason it hurts me to imagine him kissing someone. I turn around fiddle with a few switches...no harm done I know what the switches mean I just need something to do. I rest my head softly on the wall and whisper.

"There is nothing between me and Hiroshi...why do you ask such things?" I feel his hand rest on my upper back and he mumbles.

"Why are you lying to me I thought we told each other everything? When have you resorted to hiding from me?" the pain in his voice is unmistakable. I can feel his hand burning through my flesh. The purity of it singeing me I am not used to such lovelyness against me and lately that's all Iv had. Those wonderful carresses from the ones I love just to be thrown back in my face. I know that if I indulge in them I will only want more. I can't take the pleasure of his touch and I spin around grabbing his hand I stare straight into his eyes those violet pools of everything that I want to be. I hold him there his wrist tightly in my grasp.

"I have never lied to you" His breathing is soft and his gaze unbreakable.

"Then why start now?" My body is reacting to everything my heart burning, my skin itching, my blood boiling, and my eyes freezing because if I show the flame in my eyes he is sure to know what I wish to do to him. He is sure to know how much I want to push him against the wall and ravish his soft pouter's lips. The lips that I need right now I want right now because my hunger for the ones lips I craved the other night have been stolen away from me. I look hard at him and whisper.

"I am not lying...there is nothing between us...I swear." I look at him my pleading eyes burning through him. I try to hold back the wanting in my voice, the husky lust. I don't want to take his purity from him seeing as he has never been with anyone before. A blush lightly makes its self-visible on his cheeks and I begin to stumble over my breaths because I know what is to come.

"Good..." His eyelids are heavy and his usually shimmering eyes are clouded over making them a dark blue. His free hand has made its way to my shoulder and is pushing me lightly against the wall. I could push away I could run, knock him over and run but the thought of hurting him like that makes me sick. I can almost taste his soft pouter's lips and I sigh feeling him leaning against me. Against my better judgment I lean my head down to meet his beautiful lips. I can feel how hot he is getting and relish in the beautiful moment.

"K...I love you." I hear these words and push him away gently holding his shoulders. I kiss his cheek softly then letting go whisper.

"And I don't...I'm sorry Ryuichi. I love you as a good friend but you deserve someone who truly loves you as for me. I love someone else. I'm sorry." My voice falters in the ending as I walk out. I can see the unshed tears in his eyes as he holds his cheek my lips recently vacated.

I walk out of the room and slide down the wall outside for the second time in one day. My heart is about to burst because I have lost three people I have loved in the past week.

Hiro POV

I press every button on the way down the elevator. Not because I get some childish fun out of it but because it will make it take longer to get down stair's. I drop down on my knees the pain of everything drowning out the sounds of the elevator closing and opening. I have my hands in my hair. It falls down around my face and I have to have looked semi insane. I wasn't crying...I wouldn't allow myself to but I wasn't pretending nothing happened. My fingers dig slowly into my scalp and blood glides down my forearm. I hear it hit the floor and listen to the echo of it all around me. In reality it only my a slight thud but to me it sounded like thoudands of raindrops hitting the earth all at once.

I could here everything the memories I forced behind rising to the surface

Your not right your sick Nakano 

_This disruption can not be released into our institute!_

_Nakano we have raised you and look what you do_

_Your disturbed_

_Nakano! Nakano! You little bastard listen to me!_

_Stop crying! _

_Be a man stop crying! _

_A demon surely has possessed you_

_I'm glad to rid you from here Nakano! _

My tears burned in my eyes I forced them back I promised that I would never cry again never would I put myself through the pain. Blood soaked the carpet from the gashes in my head and I choked on the hatred growing inside of me. The elevator stoped and I felt warmth ingulf me I wrapped my arms around it and rubbed my face in the waiting shoulder. I wasn't crying but I still needed someone to hold. I looked up and found it was Shuichi. He held me and I felt right I felt wanted again. I held him harder than I had held anyone and was so happy just to have someone with me.

He looked at me lovingly and whispered

"You can stay with me and Yuki tonight." I didn't want to sleep anywhere near Yuki but staying in a house with Shuichi sounded like a good idea.

We arrived at his house shortly after leaving the hospital where I received some treatment for the multiple gashes in my head. We walked in and immediately Yuki was on his ass about bringing me over. I felt out of place and offered to leave but Shuichi talked him into letting me stay. Although I was certain they weren't talking but what did I know. After I sat down he announced my being able to stay and showed me to a spare room hidden in the back of the house. It wasn't dusty or ugly or unclean it as quite the opposite. It was too clean it felt like a hospital room that really needed to be aired out.

Yuki and Shuichi went to bed surprisingly early I sat in my room. My knees pulled up to my chest starring blankly at the door. At about 3 am I heard a sound at my door and it opened quietly. I waited until I saw pink hair poke in the door though in the dark of night it looked rather purple. My mouth hung open as he shut the door behind him. He slowly walked toward the bed and jumping onto it beside me whispered.

"It was hard but I finally got him all tuckered out." I didn't want to know how he did that but I was glad he came anyway. "I thought you were going to be asleep why are you still awake? Are you still upset about what he called you?...you cant blame him for that He couldn't have known...I think you broke his jaw Hiro..." I winced as I thought of how that must have felt. I suddenly felt terrible and looking softly at Shuichi whispered

"Do you think he can forgive me? I got so angry..." Shuichi gave me a dopey smile and gleefully said

"Who could stay mad at a face like that." He cuddled closer to me slipping under the covers he laid me down and soothingly began to sing me a lullaby.

Let me see those sparkling eyes

The ones I've dreamt of through the nights

Lay me down to give me rest

And hold me tightly to your chest.

It was a lovers lullaby and I thought he may be telling me something until I felt his breathing soften and his fingers curl into my muscle shirt. He was asleep. I was happy I was so close to him but the thought of him right there burned in my soul the mere thought of his small body radiating heat. His hair brushing against my chest made me regret letting him sleep. I heard the door open again and figured it was the wind but I saw a shadow in the light. Suddenly I saw the hungry eyes and new who it was. He turned on the light and starred down at us. I'm sure it looked quite wrong to him but in reality. We were only old friends sharing a night comforting each other. Shuichi woke up as if he sensed Yuki and jumping out of the bed starred wide eyed at Yuki.

"Yuki...I...I...nothing happened." Yuki starred at Shuichi as if he were insane and quietly said

"It didn't look like nothing to me." His tone scared me and I winced at the venam dripping off his tongue as he spoke.

"Really Yuki it was nothing I was helping Hiro sleep." He through his arm back and yelled

"It looked more like he was helping you sleep even though you pretended well enough to be asleep when I was with you." I wanted to help Shuichi but that would be out of my place since I was a guest. The tears brimmed in Shuichi's eyes and he pleaded.

"Yuki...I would never...I love you. Don't you understand I wouldn't do that to you." Yuki sneered at him evilly and shaking his head angrily yelled.

"Yes you would...Iv seen the way you look at him...the thing I m confused about is how you could cheat on me with this...stupid Bastard!" I saw the tears streaming down Shuichi's innocent face and lost it.

"Yuki You asshole he has never been attracted to me all he ever talks of is you. He loves you not me...he loves you!" I grabbed my coat on the back of the dresser chair and running out the house I waited for a taxi to arrive. I had not been there ten minutes before I heard the front door open and turned to find Shuichi. He had that sparkle in his eyes again and I figured he had made up with Yuki.

He walked slowly up beside me and stood at the curb balancing himself on the edge like a child. Though that had always been Shuichi's way. He was a big kid. I admired him for it and my bones chilled as I thought of the burning hatred he probably held for me now knowing I had almost ruined his relationship. Deep down inside he probably hates me.

I starred down the road looking for a car as I feel warmth on my arm. I turn toward him and I say yes. His eyes are still shimmering and I don't see hatred but thankfulness. His breathing is slow and taunting and he whispers.

"Thank you for helping me in there." I am shocked and I stair I don't mean to but I do.

"But I didn't do anythi..." He places a gentle finger on my lips and shaking his head says

"You did more then you realize..." He lets his finger slip down my lips and says quite genuinely

"You never notice what's in front of you till you lose it." I'm frozen I cant move let alone breath.

"You know what that feels like don't you...to loose what you..." I cant stop him from speaking and my heart begins to bleed

"You keep your heart...barred from me. You won't let me in." I begin to tremble and I can't hold myself up.

"Open your heart to me Hiro...tell me what you're keeping from me." I need something to keep myself from falling but the only thing close is Shuichi. So I lean on him. I rest on him my hands on his shoulders and now I'm touching him. I touching what he speaks of, What I'm hiding. His eyes stair into mine and I almost fear he is going to pull away and yet he doesn't.

I place my hand on his cheek gently and I rub my thumb lightly across it. He stairs down at me and I know what he is set on. I pull him closer standing on my own to feet now. I place my other hand at the small of his back as he gently wraps his arms around my neck and for a split second I'm lost, I'm gone. I'm looking at myself do this and I yell not to do it but I don't listen and I stair in horror as I place my lips over his.

I taste him and I hate the taste. Not because Shuichi but because of Yuki. He taste of Yuki cigarettes and blood but I can't help kissing him harder because it is Shuichi and I need this. I shun myself for this and I can't help but think.

"If its not Shuichi's kiss I want. Who's can it be. I have never kissed anyone else other than my ex girlfriend."

Author POV

Theirs something he needs a kiss he can't explain its forceful yet sweet and gental. It taste of strong Alcohol and cigarettes but as disgusting as the mix is...when he taste it, it holds taste of cold nights. The open sea air, freshly blooming roses, morning dew, and...something he cant explain. This need he wants to release it but not with Shuichi with someone...else.

**Review Response's **– pleas if you can tell me of your Age sex and Location I am just wondering what is up with my loyal fans.

**LittleMissYaoi:** yes it was a trick question. HAHA! And you were one of the lucky few to get it write. Haaha I will email you the info when I get a chance. Yes I do mean mesenger and I am glad you like Author notes mine are quite small this chappy I rushed them. Im really just an ordinary girl Im no celeb but I am honored you are so excited to add. Me. Peace out.

**Dark-Dreams-69:** You knew the answer you snuck into my laband stole the plot you theif lol.

**Twoshat17:** Short but sweet. You got the question right. HAHHAHA anyway see ya.

**Shuichi'sgirl:** HAHHA I am so amused by your review you really thought it through but unfortunitly you were wrong Im sorry. I like the way you think. Anyway NITES.

**Sesaru:** Yes millions...you sound surprised. HAHAHA YAY! I GOT A STALKER. How do you know Im not the one watching you? You liked that chappy I am happy I hope you liked this one just as much.

**Eitriarch:** You make me cry...your favourite one I am touched. You are so complimentary it is to bad i never get to see you online lol. Where are you from? Anyway see ya and I am sorry but you were wrong it wasn't k nice try.

**Guren:** No I am sorry that answer was wrong. I wish I could make it write but it wasn't. Im sorry nites. Heres the new chappy though.

**A/N:** Yeah so that was my chappy. It was really long. Ok ok the answer to the question was...HIRO. Im sorry to everyone who got it wrong I wanted to make everyone right but it just didn't work out that way. I would like to say CONGRATULATIONS to twoshat17 and LittleMissYaoi for getting this question write. Well I g2g its 3 am and I need to sleep please read and review I love you all. Oh and thanx to those who added me to MSN messenger.


	5. Nightmares

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Gravitation...shifty eyes...really I don't...

**A/N:** Hey I'm listening to Metallica! Best band in CANADA!! Lol can you guess where I live lol. Aww you guys are so sweet. I am sorry this posting took so long but I went to a party Saturday and then on Sunday I got really depressed cuz of sum social problems. I hope you can forgive me GOMEN!!!! Anyway, just so you know I am asking another lovely question at the end of this chappy too.

**I would like to dedicate this chappy to my lovely friend Scottishfae. She has helped me through my worse times lately and means so much to me. This is for you luv. **

Gravitation

**Disease of the mind**

_Nightmares_

I can taste his lips burning mysoft lips and I pull away. I look into his eyes sharply and whisper pleadingly.

"Shuichi don't hate me. I...I don't love you. I love...someone else." I expect him to hit me. Push me; kick me anything but what he does. He lightly places his hand on my cheek and his melodious voice fills my ears.

"I knew it Hiro..." His smile is large and full his lips pink and soft. His eyes once more glittering and he adds "That's why I kissed you...If I hadn't you would have been stuck on me for the rest of your life." I gasp as I realize he knew. I didn't think I was that obvious but I guess I was. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him against my chest. We meet in a loud thud and he wraps his tiny arms around my waist.

"Oh...Shuichi...I don't know...what's...wrong with me..." He pulls away and looks in to my eyes determined. His voice is course and I suspect he is trying to sound grown up.

"Haven't you realized?" He pulls out of my arms slowly and turning around whispers dreamily "You are in love with someone much like my Yuki..."

I begin to gag and leaning over cough loudly as I snicker. "You can't be serious I hate Yuki..." He turns around and with floods of water pouring down his face he yells.

"You hate Yuki?" I drop down on the ground and begin to laugh uncontrollably. He looks like the old Shuichi. Fountains of tears pouring down his cheeks as he complains about me steeling his favorite toy or something. I hold my stomach out of fear of it exploding. I look up at him and smiling softly say

"I don't HATE him but I do dislike him...He treats you so bad...one moment he likes you the other he doesn't want to see you. No one should be treated like that. He wants you to invite him places he wants to be your third hip but when you want to be with him he gets angry. He doesn't trust you, you look at one other guy and he screams and insults you. Do you think this does not hurt me to see him do this? I want to knock him out but...you will be pained if he is hurt so I will pretend that he does not bother me...for you." I feel him grab onto me and he is crying. He is sobbing

I rest my hand on his head and whisper "you can't help whom you love..." Suddenly my heart burns and I realize how much I have truly hated being alone. How much I have craved someone and now that I know its not Shuichi. I am worried I will never find them.

I go home shortly after this. The taxi picked me up and I was at home in my bed it didn't take me long until I found myself asleep. I dream tonight a horrible dream.

I'm standing in a black ocean its tar and I try to keep it from touching me. I move and it spreads moves an inch away. I am suddenly clean an invisible wall around me keeping me from the tar. I look to my left...its K. He's drowning slowly into the darkened ocean. On my right is Shuichi. He is slowly being sucked under but he doesn't seem to notice. Then it starts. This black substance starts to slowly poor into my space. The bottoms of my shoes are in it and I am worried that I will drown. I look to K and he is still gasping.

Shuichi...Shuichi is...sinking he's almost gone but he doesn't seem to notice. I can't decide should I save Shuichi or K. I make my decision and reach for Shuichi...He is the one I care more about K is merely a friend, not even. I jump into the goop and swim to Shuichi. I swallow a mouthful an irony taste in my mouth. I sputter and look at my hands...its blood...I stair at it my horrified gaze reflecting in the blood. I grab Shuichi's hand after almost losing him and then...his hand slips. He's gone. I turn back around after letting him go and see K is still there. Still grasping to life.

I go to move then suddenly.

I am in a field. The cool breeze blowing in my hair. There is daisies and tall grass. They look like waves blowing in the wind. I take in the sweet smell of summer and relax. This is beautiful. I look out over the hills. The sun shines brightly and the sky is blue. I close my eyes and fall back. I land in the soft grass and turn on to my stomach. I see birds flying in the sky and I can here the sound of something moving in the brush. I sit up and look for the sound. Suddenly there is a kid, he has short blonde hair, its frizzy and bristly. His eyes are a deep summer blue and his smile brightens up my beating cold heart. His small hands carrying flowers. He reaches me and slowly pushes them toward my hands. I look into his eyes and see something warm he begins to talk small lips present.

"Roro-Kun play..." He is happy and smiles politely. I hold the flower to my nose and I begin to cry. I don't know why but this boy makes me sad. I look happily at him and begin to talk.

"Who are..." Blood it splatters me. His small body twist and falls. Shot in the head blood drips from the flowers and me and I lean down to touch him. I get close to his body and suddenly his skeletal hand splattered with blood grabs my wrist and whips his head up angrily. I scream as I fall back and he yells.

"NO! RORO-KUN NO TOUCH! YOUR NOT ALOUD I HATE YOU HATE YOU, YOU DID THIS TO ME! YOU SHOULD SUFFER DIE RORO-KUN! DIE!

I pull away and crawl away from him. I stumble and find myself on my elbows. My eyes are wide as he stairs at me. His flesh fall's and flutters to the ground. I can see the muscle tensing his ligaments on fire. Blood dripping down his body. Sweat pasting even his eyelids. Savage hunger to kill me. Have it done with. Spill my sanity into a pit of chaos. He thrashed for that instant. He screamed at me as tears and blood filled his eyes.

"DIE RORO! DIE!" He carelessly stands up; his legs breaking bone letting his with stand is painful. His bones are now splintering, cracking, could this be hunger in his eyes, his hunger for my death.

I don't want this. Stop it I shout in my head. STOP IT! He steps forward and I can here the wet sound of his muscles slipping against bone...then...the tare of flesh. I scream and catch his dying body. I hold tight as he thrashes.

"Let go! DIE! Roro!"

"Klistelle..." My voice falters "I'm not leaving you."

I suddenly see the dream fly through my mind. Shuichi drowning me trying to save him and then both him and K drowning. I can't help but wonder...if I had chosen k what would have happened.

I am suddenly back in the tar. The goop has just started to fill into my space. I look at K then at Shuichi...it's the same thing. I go to save Shuichi but...think it over. I turn back around and jump toward K I swim hard and fast. I swallow the blood and once again stop to stair at it on my hands. I jump back in and reach K I grasp his hand tightly and to my surprise he holds on tightly, I pull him up and suddenly we are falling, falling onto...a floor. I look down and we are saved and I jump as I feel him jump into my arms happy to be alive. I look behind me and there is Shuichi...with. I Am happy he is alive and then realize...If I had chosen K in the first place...there deaths wouldn't have happened.

I wake up panting and sweating. The blankets are pulled tightly around me and...there are tears on my pillow, in my eyes. I disentangle myself from the blankets. I sit up, feet on the cold floor. I'm looking out my window, out into the night sky.

An idea pops into my head and I look back in my mind at K. Those eyes. Right there, ...Flash quick and steady him and I. On a carpet I believe...a hotel. We're kissing? It feel's so right though and it taste so good, but just as it happens the flash is gone. I don't know where it's coming from but I am sure it is just my imagination. I couldn't have done something so dishonorable.

K is my manager; not some love crazed teenage fan. For a split second I play with that idea and for some odd reason...I am intrigued. The idea of him doing anything for me. In those tight white wash jeans all our fans wear those small shirts that show every muscle. I almost drool at this idea but hold back. I have to pull myself together in order to fully understand what just happened.

Then it hits me...pull my self-together? What am I saying. It's clear as day...its right there...but it can't be true. I grab my head its pounding how true it is. The looks, the feeling, the touches, the pains, he's the one I crave. I need K, I want K and I can't admit it. No it can't be true. I hate him...I hate him. I walk to the window and as I touch the glass. I hear my phone. I turn slowly around and reach for it. I don't want to talk but...what if its Shuichi. I pick up the phone and my throat tightens. I can hear the liquid voice. Its touching me in places I haven't felt before.

"Hiroshi? Are you there." I stair at the wall and choke out

"K..." I'm hot I can't feel my fingers around the phone.

"I know this is odd but...I wanted to call...and apologize. I don't know what I did...but. I'm sorry...are you ok? Please forgive me Hiroshi?" I can't speak but sputter out.

"Call...me Hiro...K..." There is a slight pause and I blush because of what I said

"O...k...Hiro are you ok?" I fall, my knees give out and I'm on the floor. The phone is still against my ear and he sound's worried. "Hiro what happened are you hurt?" I still can't speak and I hear faintly the sound of him drop the phone and foot steps, a door slams. I drop the phone onto the cradle and stay on the floor. I stair at the wall as my breathing slows down. My heart bursting from my chest.

He causes these things in my body and I can't help but hyperventilate. I hear my door swing open but don't look over...I know who it is. I feel to arms on my shoulders and suddenly K is in front of me.

"Hiroshi what is wrong..." I look up his eyes are sparkling and I drown in there depth.

"I...told...you...to...call...me...Hiro..." He meets my eyes with a raw power. A power that when it is used against me causes my insides to melt.

"Fine then Hiro can you please tell me what is wrong with you." I'm still staring at his burning eyes and I realize how warm his hands are on my cheeks.

"It's...you..." He goes to pull his hands away...I think I have insulted him. I can't take this and grab his hand I pull his right hand back to my cheek and rest my left hand on it. He look's confused and stairs hard at me.

"What do you mean. I'm the problem?" He sounds so hurt and I can't help him. Unless...

Author POV

He's never done this before. He ran all the way hear he bust the door down, and he held him and now...he's being insulted. What could Hiro mean...He's the problem? He can't run because Hiro's eyes are so pleading but he can't stay or he may regret what he does.

**Review Responses**

**Sesaru:** Yes you figured me out I am a robot, don't shun me please lol. Its ok the best of us have split personalities . Thankyou for the lovely complement I think it was good to. I don't have a beta the thing is I finish most my chappy's the night I post so I don't have time to get it beta'd. Im sorry it makes you want to cry Im stupid. Haha Im sure it is there. SEE YA . OOHHHH Im 16 too. Sure you didn't make it up. Droolllss you have male personalities, we should be introduced. WOW the US I live in CANADA. haha

**Grimy Grunhilda Grunt:** hehe yes he is and I am glad you like it. I do I do I feel terrible about it. Please excuse it I spelled it wrong in this chappy too. Im fairly stupid so spelling is hard for me. You added me? I wonder I don't member you adding me.

**LittelMissYaoi:** Yes you did you are very smart. I think it is so cool you are from Scotland and I do enjoy talking to you. G2G byes.

**Eitriarch:** Don't worry sometimes Our minds play tricks on us and we don't use our better judgment. I am updating I am lol. WOW that was a mouthful. That hurt my brain someone likes someone and that someone...(holds head in pain) sooooo confusing. Yeah I know what you mean though. HAHA really lol that's cool hahaha. I feel really bad it is taking me so long to update lately. HAHA I think you should send them numerous emails too lol. Well g2g see ya.

**Lady Insomnia:** Yes I feel bad for both them to I am really rather cruel. Aww I didn't think anyone would say anything about Yuki lol. Yes lets hope him and K do. Hiro tats sounds like an interesting pairing I shall check them out. I actually think when I get some time I will email you. I luv peeps from other parts of the world. Please email me though first cuz my comp is screwed and won't allow me to see other peeps emails on fanfiction. Ill talk to you soon see ya.

**Guren:** Yes it is ok. You can't always get things right ne? aww you almost cried becuz of my story. I hope it wasn't becuz of my grammar. Im updating. Hahaha yes you have read it as soon as it was posted hahah your so cute. Hahahahaha.

**A/N:** hehe hey people lol. I really would like you guys to tell me anything you guys can I would really like to know what you guys are into. Music and such, That was my chappy though wasn't it interesting. I am sorry I don't have a beta I feel terrible that you guess are so annoyed by my stupidity. Anyway with out further ado here is the Q. The prize for getting this Q right is you can give me any couple and I will slowly stick a lil romance in the story for them...ANYONE...even a hetero couple. see you.

**A.T.D**

**Q:** What do you think the meaning of the "Tar" in the dream is and why wasn't Shuichi reacting to it? (Be warned this question is hard to answer and I am going to choose the peeps who get the closest answer. So feel free to tell me what ever you think)


	6. A past haunted

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Gravitation...but I do own the boys soul's lol.

**A/N: **WOW I think I have stolen all the sweet reviewers and made them read my story. You guys are the sweetest things I have ever met. Hey if there's any cute reviewers out there who live in Canada email me up lol. Yup yup some hot chicks for me (winks)...jokes. I only wish I could hook up with chicks in real life as sweet as you guys but I might get a cavity lol. Well I g2g sorry for posting so late but I am all thrown off my posting schedule. Don't worry I will clear it all up. I luv you all.

Gravitation

**Disease of the mind**

_A past haunted_

I need to make him understand that I'm not trying to insult him. I plaster a soft smile on my face and whisper...

"It's not so much...a problem as...its startling..." I can see the confusion in his eyes and feel horror creep up my spine...

He wont understand, he wont feel the same...he'll hate me after he finds out.

"Hiro...I don't know what you mean..." I let his hand drop slowly and finally working up the nerve, I stand and walk back to the window. I'm sorry I was startled I thought I saw something outside. I can feel him stand and turn around.

"I'm sorry for scaring you I just have been a little jumpy lately...you know how it gets...being a celebrity and all." He smile's timidly something I don't see a lot and he sighs.

"Yes I know the feeling...in a way...I guess I should be going then...if you have nothing more you would like to say." I begin to open my mouth then think it over.

"No I'm okay...thank you." I see something-sad flash across his face then he leaves closing the door behind him. I stare back out the window. Now I have a new love to hide...my love for the one I once hated...my love for K...

K POV

I close the door, my hopes have crashed to the floor. I see something out of the corner of my eye...its pink. Suddenly someone is encircling my body. I look down and sure enough it is Shuichi. I pry him off me and a few moments later we are in a small coffee shop.

"Why were you at Hiro's K?" I gulp my coffee loudly and placing the gray mug onto the clean dinner table whisper.

"I tried to apologize about calling him by his last name." I feel Shuichi's gaze fall and shoot my head up. He knows something! I can feel it and it has to do with Hiro. I place my hand quickly onto his and starring at him pleading I ask

"what do you know Shuichi? Please tell me I need to know..." He looks back up at me with trembling sorrow in his eyes. Then it changes to determination.

"First K tell me one thing." I am taken back but am determined to know what he knows

"Shoot!" He grabs my hand and giving it a tight squeeze says

"You have to answer honestly or I wont tell you." I grow impatient and yell

"Okay! Okay! I'll answer honestly now ask me already! I promise."

"Do you like Hiro?" I am caught off guard but I promised I would answer honestly and that's what I will do.

"Yes...I do Shuichi, very much so. I will go as far as to say I love him." He pulls his hand away and putting it in his lap mumbles.

"You can't! Hiro loves one man and one man alone; He always has and will never change his mind. He may not realize butt his heart will always remain with his true love." I am thrown and assume this is what he wanted to tell me.

"When Hiro was a child he wasn't...normal..." His story caught me and I felt as if I were there. Right in the current moment in time.

Hiro spent most of his life in an orphanage. His parents died in an accident...well a supposed accident. They were found contorted in their car off a high way. Hiro's infant body was lying a few meters away in the mud. It was odd though he was perfectly clean. There was no sign of him being thrown out. He looked as if he was placed there.

The authorities placed him in the care of his godparents. Soon after he moved in odd things began to occur, Break-ins, accidents. Anything you name it, it happened. After a few more accidents they two were found dead. It was suspected by the detectives that her husband went insane shot her and then himself, though everything pointed to that most of the family suspected him of it.

They said he was a demon child. That he conspired against anyone who took care of him. He was passed from each family member but he only lasted at most three-month's. Things would happen that no one could explain other then to blame the child. So this is where he ended up in the institute. He hated the world and so took it out on other children, soon he had no friends.

Then... Klistelle arrived. His parents had been overdosing on drugs and so he was taken away. He shared a dark passed, which Hiro could relate to. Hiro wouldn't admit it though, He couldn't but he knew it. Klistelle had penetrated every hateful layer Hiro had. Every barrier Hiro would put up Klistelle would break it down. With small things, such as gifts, sticking up for him, even smiles would make Hiro happy. At the age of 12 Hiro tried to distance himself, He tried anything to get away from him. He even resorted to hurting Klistelle to make him angry with Hiro but it didn't work. Klistelle would just smile and make a joke.

This was about the time where Hiro began to get angry. If someone talked to Klistelle he would yell. He would beat people up for touching Klistelle. This is also when the reverend started watching him closely. He thought he was going down a dark road of satanic beliefs. Hiro was 15 when everything broke down. His world was set on fire.

He was studying in the library one dark afternoon just before dinner. He was usually at the library he preferred to be there then outside hanging with the other teens. He was about to call it a night when he saw Klistelle checking out a book. He tried to keep hidden but as soon as Klistelle turned around he waved and yelled to Hiro. He walked over to Hiro and sat down beside him started a light conversation.

Klistelle laughed at a small joke he had made and put a hand on Hiro's leg. Just then the librarian walked up and said to Hiro

"Here Hiro I can trust you with the key. I'm heading out for the night can you lock up?" Hiro nodded to the librarian and she winked and walked out. Hiro pocketed the small key and began to put his books away. He slipped his last book in his bag but felt something poke his shoulder. He turned around and found a very flushed Klistelle.

"umm Hiro I wanted to thank you for sticking by me when those kids were beating on Suzanne I feel bad for the girl. I think she looks quite becoming in those new braces." His blush became brighter and Hiro's heart sunk.

"It's ok I think she looks nice in them too." He looked passively at a notebook and then looked back into Klistelle's eyes he asked. "Umm...uh Klistelle...do you like Suzanne?" The question was hard for him to ask and his whole body shook with terror at the answer. Klistelle smiled brightly again and he whispered

"I have a secret...she's not my type." Hiro put two and two together and his heart leaped to his throat. The smile on Klistelle's lips sealed it and Hiro did what naturally came to him. The one thing he felt was right to do. He dropped his bag and leaning over pressed his lips against Klistelle's. He pushed hard and put all passion into that one miraculous thing. He pulled away a few second later breathing heavily and starred at Klistelle. The look Klistelle had on terrified Hiro. He looked...like he...didn't like it. Hiro suddenly thought it all through. What if he was wrong? What if Klistelle really did mean she wasn't his type?

Hiro bit his lip hesitantly and yelled.

"I'm sorry...I shouldn't..." To his disbelief that sly smile of Klistelle's crept back onto his lips and he kissed Hiro more possessively then Hiro had kissed him. He pushed Hiro to the floor and breaking from the kiss whispered.

"I'm glad you feel the same." Hiro blushed brightly and Klistelle helped him off the floor. They walked out of the library together and Klistelle walked Hiro to his room. At the door they looked at each other oddly. They both knew what they wanted to do but they were also afraid. Suddenly Klistelle pushed Hiro against his door a kissed him hungrily, passionately, Heatedly. Hiro shut his door slowly and wrapped his arms around Klistelle's neck. Klistelle lifted Hiro up and placed him softly on the bed. Being older than Hiro it gave Klistelle more strength then Hiro. After this I don't quite know if they went all the way or not but I do know that what ever happened was discovered a few days later.

They were in class giving each other looks through the doorway. They sat directly across the hall from each other. As I said Klistelle was a good amount older than Hiro so he had different classes. Hiro was pulled from class and dragged into the Reverend's office for a good hour before he was let out. You could tell Hiro had been crying and there were a few marking on his arms and face. He was silent for the few days he had left in the orphanage.

After that he was sent away, all I remember about the day he left was seeing him being pulled away and screaming for Klistelle. I saw the look in Klistelle's eyes before he ran after Hiro He was pulled back by one of the reverend's, Klistelle wouldn't stand for this and before we knew it he had a gun in his hands threatening them. He had gone insane and began firing. He didn't shoot anyone though...he was too good for that. I think he was warning them...then...he was shot. The scream Hiro screamed that day I have been haunted with my whole life. I have never heard so much agony in a single scream before. Klistelle wasn't heard from again, we were told he died in hospital.

After that I left the orphanage and sought out Hiro. We had almost been friends before Klistelle showed up. I somewhat got jealous when Hiro directed so much attention to Klistelle. Hiro had been my Idol...He had told me his whole life story with so much grace. I had wished when I was a kid that I could taste Hiro in so many ways. I wanted to kiss him but I also just wanted to touch him...get to know him...Klistelle beat me to it.

That's how we were here to day...K the reason Hiro got mad was because the...Reverend who had sent him away always called him...by his last name. Shock flooded over me for so many reasons. I could hardly contain myself and blurted out.

"Klistelle is not dead!" Shuichi's jaw dropped and he looked at me disbelieving.

"How do you know?..." I suddenly regretted telling him what I knew, regretted telling him the sad sad truth of my dark secret I had hidden from the world for years.

**A/N: **Yeah that was my chappy lol I luv it. HAHAHHA cliff hanger aren't I evil. Now you guys just got to tell me when you guys think they will actually kiss or you can tell me what you think about how K knows he's not dead lol. I'm not giving prizes for answering that question though. LOL! So yeah if you guys are interested in Betaing feel free to email me yo! See ya guys.

**Review Responses** **– O.K. I am considering Beta's right now so if you email me then I will reply to you about it ok. You need to know though that my Internet is screwed and I can't see your emails in your profiles so email me please!**

**Eitriarch: **Wow that is a very lovely thought on the metaphor but alas you are not correct. I wish you were but I give you a point and a cookie for that one. Hey I like to say blah blah blah too. HEY! I like those bands too LINKIN PARK! All the way man. I'm sorry it was so hard to follow. I hope this one was easier. HAHAH I tried to make it disturbing too. I wrote it while listening to Evanescence tourniquet ïƒŸI think that's the spelling. Thanks for being so interested in my story.

**Kloudy Reignfall: **well this was the next chappy lol.Hey crazy is a good thing to be going. Hahah I got you addicted I am so honored. HAHHA I hate cigarettes they're so icky. I have to congratulate you on this you were the closest to the metaphor...YOU WON!! And you're a new reader to. You picked up on this really well. Please suggest another pairing I like a good challenge. Yeah I'm looking for beta's right now but I can't email you can you email me?

**Grimy Grunhilda Grunt: **HAHA I understand its ok. I have to add you to my other account cuz I never go on kyobloodluver anymore. My other email is sandraefeltham. Aha wow that's a lot of problems I am amazed you went through all that for lil old me. I'm sorry they didn't kiss but I got to keep you guys comin. Thanx I'm intense? Lol yeah I always make typos with those two lol. I'll have to get myself a lil old beta hehe. Have a good what? (winks) lol.

Guren: AWW thank you. I hate to break it to you hun but you love everything about me not just the story lol...not...I have so many flaws. Anyway, Awwww your sooooooo cute I made you blush again ugh I could just make you blush all day lol. Bringing such a beautiful tint to your breath taking face is oh so amusing. I'm sorry even though this makes sooo much sense I am sad to say you are not right. I wish you were so much don't worry one day you will get it right I promise you. I'm getting hot luvin from you lol (Kisses back) remind me to finish where we left off next time we talk lol. Nites.

**Sesaru: **yup yup I just got to keep in check how many times I say beep beep in a sentence lol. YEAH IM NOT SHUND!!! I'm sorry I don't have a beta don't cry please (wipes tears away.) hahah that's such a sweet idea please email me about betaing. Hahaha we are we are. Hahah I'll be waiting for you (winks) ORGY AT MY HOUSE!! Those are really good bands...cept good charlotte I'm sorry I used to like them haha now I don't lol. I think I heard of Pet shop of Horrors...is that a clamp production?

**LittleMissYaoi: **HEY YOU READ MY FRIENDS FANFICTION. Darkdream69 she writes runaway fruits basket. We are like tight me and her chill at school lol. HAHA thanx for the compliment I worked real hard on it. LMAO that was funny Wow that is a good theory I agree with it but it is not what I was going for I'm sorry you didn't get it write. You should feel smart lol. Hey you interpret dreams what do you think about an octopus in cowboy boots a dog and me in a pimp suit carrying ham lol. I seriously had a dream like that. I hope so too. See yas.

**Lady Insomnia: **haha I would hate to have a dream like that too. Yeah I think its cuz I'm evil and won't ever let them be happy lol. Okay I can't wait until you do...unless you already did lol.


	7. Traumatic orRomantic

**Disclaimer:** Hmmmmm I can always check with the writer and see if I can get some ownership if you really want me to admit I own it...Im confused....what did I just say lol.

**A/N:** Hello again sweet's. I have some rather sad news to report. It came to my attention that certain reader's (for there own embarrassment I will not inform you of the name) have taken my metaphor wrong...It wasn't the Cigarette tar that was the metaphor it was what she wrote after that was right. I am saddened that I have let down my readers and apologize for upsetting you. Some people who I talked about my problem with told me not to worry but I wanted to ask. Would you guys like me to stop asking questions? I don't want to stop but if I am upsetting my readers I will. I do everything for you guys and I am very ashamed I made anyone feel stupid. I can't even speak how much this is upsetting me. But I should let you read now so go on...

**I dedicate this chappy to Lady Insomnia she was the one who inspired me to dig deeper into Hiro's past!!!!!**

Gravitation

**Disease of the mind**

_Traumatic or...Romantic_

I was grasping for an answer, something that would make sense.

"Uh...my brother...my parents took a troubled teen in from the streets when I was a kid...his name was...Klistelle...I grew up with him. My brother was Klistelle and he is still alive. When I was a bit older he ran away. I guess he couldn't take love from anyone. He changed over the years and he wasn't the same person he used to be...I'm ashamed to call him my brother." Shuichi's face held utter shock and he whispered

"ashamed? But Klistelle was the sweetest boy I had ever met." I gave him an angered look and sneered.

"Then you didn't really know Klistelle now did you?" I was flooded with so much I almost snapped as he uttered

"Did you? I think were talking about two different boys. Klistelle was gentle and sweet." I broke into a rant and placing my mug down on the counter angrily mumbled.

"Blue eyes, blond shaggy hair, a sneaky smirk, and wore black sunglasses any chance he got?" He nodded agreeingly his head dropping as he realized it was the same boy. I got up and walked out the door. I felt him tug at my arm as I stepped into the cool summer breeze. I spun around and yelled. "He was a menace, a fool. He lived to destroy lives. He destroyed mine! And he will destroy Hiro's!" I ran into the park hard as I could I left my car in the parking lot hoping that it could stay there with out being touched.

I spent a good hour in the park sitting on a bench. I finally decided to go back to my car. I saw my car and to my joy Shuichi was gone. I was almost to the car when I saw someone leaning against it. It was breath taking...he was beautiful...the light above his head casting an angelic glow to him and I stepped forward. He wore a dark blue muscle shirt it clung to him tightly. It almost looked like a second skin but it made you drool, He had those tight white wash jeans that all of bad lucks fans wore. It curved to his thighs in all the right places making you moan. His leather jacket was thrown over his shoulder adding an air of danger to him though I knew there was no threat when I was near him. I could see the ripple of his biceps and growled knowing I could feel it. I wanted to glide my hand over the soft skin and taste it. He wore a silver chain that glinted in the light and made him look so yummy. He looked my way and a smile graced his lips.

He walked toward me as I walked toward my car. I placed my key in the lock and turned it hoping to god he would not touch me, knowing I may faint if he did. Knowing I merely breathed the same air as him caused me to become light headed. I felt him stop beside me and turned to face him as he whispered.

"K..." if I could capture that one uttered name I would cherish it. I looked hard into his blue gaze...in this light it was blue but in others it was a gentle violet. I opened my door and looking at him again softly said

"What is it Ryuichi?" He closed the door and moved slowly forward dropping his coat. It made a soft sound as it hit the ground and I moved backwards. I was closed in against the car and he was getting closer with every movement. I fought to hold back the rush of feelings. I wanted him...but I didn't. It was confusing. He moved to beside my ear and whispered

"I wont take no for an answer..." with that he licked my ear gently nipping at the shell of my ear. I pushed him to arms distance and throwing him into the back of the car shut the door fast. I jumped into the driver's seat and bolted. I was on the high way in seconds.

"Ryuichi I'm taking you home. I don't know what's gotten into you but I'm not letting it go any farther." Suddenly he climbed into the passenger seat and whispered.

"You can't take me home I was thrown out. I didn't pay my rent." I felt anger fill me and I did a U turn.

"Then you will go with Tahoma I am sure he won't mind." He gave me a stupid look and I turned again.

"Then you will go to Shuichi's. You love him and he adores you its perfect. I'm certain Yuki will make an exception for you." I got another look and became very desperate as I thought of where to take him. I finally gave up and sighed "fine you can stay with me but you stay on the couch and you sleep...nothing else." He nodded in agreement. I set my course for home and we were there in minutes.

I showed him to the couch and throwing him a pillow and blanket went into my room and slammed the door shut. I starred up at the ceiling for a while until I let my eyes close. As soon as I felt I would drift away I saw him...Hiro. I couldn't get him out of my head. His past was horrifying. I sat up in bed and placed my head in my hands. A thought surfaced in my mind...

His passed is much like yours...

I felt a hand softly stroking my neck and looked up. I saw those bright eyes and was caught in them again. I waited searching them for why he was here...than it came, he kissed me.

He pressed me down on the bed kissing my lips hungrily. I couldn't push him away. I wanted someone to touch me these ways and I wouldn't let it with anyone else...not Hiro...the only one that mattered. I kissed back abusing his sensitive lips. I pulled him down on top of me licking his lips and tasting his taunting tongue as it hesitantly slipped into mine. He slid his hands up my stomach and raked his nails down my chest. He feasted on my moan and I his. I pulled his shirt off and when he leaned back down he bit my ear. Electricity drove through my body as I felt his hot tongue glide against the shell of my ear. His sweat dripped down his stomach. I could feel his hard abs contract and I growled. Such a beautiful creature does not usually want me. He was unbuttoning my shirt with his teeth. He looked at me from under long eyelashes and I could see the lust in them. I arched my back as I felt him slightly skim my nipple and licked my lips.

The hunger I had was hard to hold back almost painful. I could give in right now let him have me as he wished...but I couldn't. Wouldn't that hurt? Could I do that? This would haunt my conscience I needed to stop him but I didn't want to...so I gave in.

Hiro POV

I couldn't control my urges. Pain always seemed to hold tight inside my body. It held me hostage. I couldn't give into the sadness that drowned me but what could I do. He was there in front of me, his eyes holding such passion. I knew he needed someone but not me. I craved for his lips, My body ached with a burning lust for his touch and I remembered his hand on my cheek. My fingers brushed my cheek and I could feel the tears. I was letting myself cry. My body shaking as I felt sobs reach my lips. I was pitiful; A true man would have known what to do. He would go out for blood and claim his prize. In my case the prize was K and what a prize K was.

I starred out the window everything shimmered behind my full tears. I clutched my pants and let my shoulders sag. My body trembled as I fought the depression. Everyone was right. Everyone from my childhood was right. I was a demon it was my fault that all that happened. My fault that my parents and god parents died. My fault that everyone hated me that Ayaka left me. I was to blame and no one could tell me other wise. How could I let my love just crumble like that I should have tried? Looked for a way out. Strived to find him but I didn't I just gave up. After I found out he was apparently dead I lost all hope. Sometimes I think back and that shot really have killed him? If Klistelle knew me now he would be ashamed. I needed to find him. I needed to know that I wasn't what they believed I was. But alas it was to late.

I remembered that night. Suddenly and for the first time...I saw that night. I sat in the tiny car seat my blanket pulled around my body. I watched cars fly by and my parents laugh at a joke I didn't get. I looked again toward the cars. I was scared and began to cry...something scared me I felt the tension change and looked back to my parents. They weren't anything like I had thought. My father had pure blond hair that jetted out in front of his eyes, His eyes were a bright green a lovely contrast with his hair. His bone structure was admirable he had a physique as if he played a sport such as hockey or baseball. I was surprised though...he bore no resemblance to me. My mother on the other hand shared some aspects. Her hair was long trailing long down her back and it was the same color as mine. I felt hers was richer though. Her eyes shone a bright gold. They almost burn how bright they were. Her physique also was one to envy. I smiled finally being able to put faces to my parents. I saw an odd image unravel and before I knew it the car was flying. Being propelled to the grass the mud and dirt. I cried harder, then...I was warm.

A heat washed over me and I looked up into warm eyes. Eyes that caught my attention thought provoking eyes. I reached up and he gently held my small finger. The eyes were dark and red. The hair was a black...raven black. He had a tight smirk on and his eyes glowed. I giggled as he held me close to his chest. He placed me on the ground; He wore tight white jeans and a white gold necklace. A cross hung from the chain and dangled. He wore no shirt but he was fairly built as if he had grown up doing hard labor. He had random scratches on him and blood dripped from some, he had patches of dirt and scratches though this was a lovely sight (ignoring the remark on the scratches) the most amazing part was to come.

Extended from his back were a pair of pure white wings. The ends were tipped with pastel purple. They had to be at least three times his height, which by the way was probably 6'5. They splayed out dangerously as if he could reach speeds faster than anything man has touched down on, He held them beautifully and they almost glowed. Wrapped around his right arm was a metal snake the fangs dug deep into his arm but there was no blood. I figured it had just been there for so long the blood flow was blocked. It drank from his arm looking hungry as any animal would he had such muscle I believe any animal would die to get a taste. He looked like one of the men I would probably go after now...but I had no attraction to him other than deep warmth exploding through my heart. He was still kneeling beside me and tapped my nose with his finger.

"I went threw a lot for you little one. I just hope you never remember this horrible ordeal, even...if you forget me young one. Grow up and become the man I need you to be. Be strong and love someone the way I love you. Good bye I'm so sorry...my son..."

I came back to reality sweating, my stomach a nauseating tumbling feeling. I walked into the washroom and splashed water on my face as I starred into the mirror and thought, I have never had that dream before...what does it mean? He called me...his son...what was he to me?

I ran my hand threw my hair and spit into the sink, Blood! I looked at my face and a small cut on my cheek manifested from no where. I was shocked but kept my cool...I remembered something. The man...he had...a cut on his cheek. I whipped my hand over it and brushed away the blood. What did this all mean?

I heard my door begin to open and ran to it as it slowly creaked open. I stood and watched for the sign of a body and indeed someone was there.

**A/N: **Hello anyway Im sorry the first A/N was so sad but this ones happier hahahah. How did you like the chappy I think it was pretty good lol I think the dude with the wings is hot lol...well he sounds hot...(looks at readers) what?...he sounds like he'd be hot...right? OMG I'm going insane lol. Mmmm chocolate lol...that was random. Hahahahah Is it just me or have I noticed that me calling peeps luv is addicting to those of you who talk to me through email or MSN isn't it addicting. Just look at some of the responses like...let me think...theirs one in this chappy. GUREN! She said luv in my last review lol. Anyway G2G here's my responses!

**Review Responses – Please no one get upset if I am more affectionate to certain reviewers. The only reason some responses are longer is becuz they ask me or tell more things then others. I luv you all! **

**Night Grey: **you know that part of the movie always scared me...The wizard of oz the part where the which sends the flying monkey's out (rocks back and forth) Okay okay! I Wrote now call off your minions lol.

**Yumi Ishida the dream ang: **HAHAIwrote luv here it is. Thanx for the compliment I think this story is getting very good reviews hehe.

**Kurai-star: **Well theirs what happened next lol. Well you can make the judgment on weather Klistelle is K or not.Hahaha you were all fooled muahahahaha! See ya. Thanx for reviewing luv.

**Eitriarch: **Please luv don't stop answering the Q's it would make me so sad. I'm hurt that you would say such stuff to another reviewer or me. I thought better of you luv. You have stuck with me from the beginning and it truly does hurt. I really admire your answers to these Q's and will be dreadfully sad if you stop answering. I can't ignore that I have upset you, and you have upset me. Your last review had so many errors and I was worried about you, you are always so clean cut with your reviews. You never make so many mistakes. If I have upset you please don't turn away like this. I need you to continue rooting me on! If you don't believe my sincerity you can email another author at actually a few and ask them how affected I was by your review. They will confirm my deep sadness. I hope you continue answering the Q's and accept my extreme apology. And to be quite honest luv I read my story over multiple times when I write I'm just an idiot.

**Lady Insomnia: **Is Klistelle K? I've been getting that question a lot. Well you think what you want lol. HAHAH its ok hun I know you think it's cool and you are a sweet heart for the compliment as is every one of my reviewers but next to Guren you are by far the specialist hahaha. Well I'm sure there all great but I know you better lol. Aww your like the only one who answered that question...can I tell you a secret I think they will do it again to lol. Well it's simple...I'm sadistic his pain is my pleasure lol that's how I can be so mean. Its ok I understand you can't Beta two stories at once. Actually hun you're the reason I thought to dig deeper into his past.

**LittleMissYaoi: **Your so sweet luv hahahahahaa. Yes hahaha your so cute its ok that you didn't get the question right lol I understand hun hahahah. You should feel really smart...uhhh should you hear odd click's in your brain? HAHA my dream really mean that? Lol anyway I think your so sweet for putting both me and my friend on your list. Lol anyway gota run see ya.

**Guren: **HAHAH you dropped over dead (winks mischievously)was that from what I said or from the chappy lol. Anyway I g2g see you hun, talk to you soon. (kisses hugs)


	8. Rescues at day break

**Disclaimer: **Nope NOOOO ownership yet but soon...I will be the victor!

**A/N:** Yeah so this is my new chappy haahahha. Yeah I got really inspired and decided that I would right like there was no tomorrow. Yeah I have to mention to you guys, I know you all get really mad or even a little frustrated that I have such terrible grammar and spelling but to tell the god honest truth I check over my work like twenty times before I post. The reason why even then there is a lot of mistakes is I am in special ED which if you know what that is, it's a class for slow student's (stupid students). So yeah Im STUPID!!! And that's why my grammar and spelling are terrible. Anyway read read!!!

**I dedicate this chappy to LittleMissYaoi because she was the one who urged me to get the next chappy done whenever I talked to her. Thank you hun! **

Gravitation

**Disease of the mind **

_Rescues at day break_

K stood in the doorway. His suit jacket thrown over his shoulder. Leaning against the doorframe he quietly asked to come in. I moved out of his way and he slumped onto the floor. Suddenly a flash of us kissing went threw my mind. A deep blush crept slowly across my cheeks. I walked over and sat in front of him. His hair still had that messy look his eyes held dark bags and mouth was turned down in a frown. I lifted his chin gently and whispered.

"What happened...don't tell me the amazing K has problems." His glare was Icy cold and it made my insides freeze over. I tilted my head and looked into the deep blue pools.

"Honestly...I...didn't 't eat...I..." I could tell he was having problems saying it so I leaned back. I figured it would let him know I was willing to listen. He sighed loudly and starring at the floor mumbled "I know about your past...about Klistelle...your parents...I want to help..." I was stunned and gasped as his words sunk in

"K..." Did he just say he...knew. I brushed a hair out of my face and grumbled. "Well the past should stay in the past..." His stare bore through me and I winced as my heartstrings were being pulled out one by one. "What do you plan to do?" His voice was and collected.

"I don't understand your families death's Hiro...I know theirs something behind all this your to good of a man to do anything as bad as kill your parents" I stared heart felt at him a stabbing pain in my chest.

"How will you prove it...police wont pull up a case like that just for some stranger." Suddenly a flame was alight in his eyes and he reached behind his back pulled out a gun cocked it and aimed it at my head.

"I have my ways..." His smirk was breath taking and I almost clasped his hand to draw him near. Then I cleared my mind.

"It's the police K they'll arrest you for that..." I looked like a smart-ass but I sincerely meant it. I didn't want to see him in jail.

"If its for you Hiro...I'll die to clear your name..." I tried to collect myself as these words sunk and hit every nerve in my body. He cared...

"Why now K? why today? How come you suddenly care about me." He threw his gun to the floor and leaned against the couch.

"Hiro I have always cared about you...there is a certain manager musician bond between us. I can't refuse you sheer courtesy." I sighed and slouched over. So that's all it was Courtesy...

"when you walked in you said you knew every thing, you said you knew about Klistelle...why did you bring him into this?" For once he actually held more than a slight emotion his face was shining with it...If only it were a good emotion. Shock he was totally and utterly shocked. He looked back at the floor. I felt like yelling to him _K the floor doesn't talk! _But I couldn't...I just...bit my tongue.

"Hiro...I need to tell you something..." a few moments later I sat frozen. Unable to move even breath, I suddenly felt his arms wrap around me and I breathed in the sweet sent of his hair. He whispered softly to me and I wrapped my arms around him as well. I hadn't been hugged with this much love in a long time and I savored it. K held me a way only one had before...I looked to the side and knitted my eyebrows together in confusion. I poked K's earlobe and whispered

"K...you never wear earrings around me..." I felt him go stiff and he hoarsely grumbled.

"I don't where them anymore." A sigh left my lips and I placed my head back down his shoulder. I felt a bolt of electricity go through my body and jumped back. It must have hit him to but then...He began to scream and clutch his head.

"NO! NO MORE!..." He fell deathly silent, dropping his hands to the floor beside him he stared blankly downward. I mumble erupted from his throat. "I never meant it to be that way..." He starred back up at me and with tears...ACTUAL tears in his eye he hugged me tight. "Hiro..."

I felt something fill me and a whisper went through my ear _Listen my son...he's not what you think..._That same warmth clouded my heart and I held him tighter. I didn't know what he meant but I was sure I would find out soon enough. All I knew was that whatever it was, was telling me that this was right...this was good.

"I never meant to let everyone know...no one was suppose to know. I swear." I listened but nothing changed. I didn't see anything different.

"K what didn't you mean to let out?" He stiffened and ran a hand threw my hair. His sobs broke my concentration and I held him tighter then I held anyone before. He sucked in a pained breath and pulled out of my embrace. His sea blue eyes still held tears, as he looked hard at me and trailing a finger down my lip whispered

"...Us..." My heart poured onto the floor mixing with his. What did he mean? He didn't mean to let it out about us? What didn't he want to let out." He trailed another finger down my lips and whispered

"But hearts of stone...are notoriously more demanding...of loves comforts...then the other kind." I remembered this quote I didn't know where from and then as if in a fairy tale he moved closer. His sweet breath mixing with mine. I could already feel his skin touch mine as his silken hand skimmed down my chest. I hadn't put a shirt on yet. His lips were mere inches from mine. His eyes scolding mine. He tempted me as a siren tempted a sailor...except this...would not end in horror but...amazing passion. I felt his soft nose glide gently against mine as his eyelids began to close. He starred half lidded at me and I found my own eyes closing slowly. I shut them tight my breathing ragged as I was drowned in his scent. He licked my lip tentatively and I moaned as waves of crashing thundering lust wafted through me. I felt an angel like lip brush across mine and groaned as I licked my lip loving the taste. My heart throbbed beating against my ribs as I felt his lips press against mine. He taunted my nerves kissing not only my lips but also my soul. His emotions flourished, he brought a gentle hand up to rest against my cheek as he kissed me gently coaxing small gasps out of me. Electricity flowed through my body and I growled against soft lips.

He pulled away breathing deeply and mumbled to himself as he moved away. He had crawled over me half way through our embraced and now looked at the scene before him. He pulled away but stopped, then again pulled away and stopped. He looked at me as if asking what he should do. I thought that was a bad Idea I knew what I wanted to do but...

I felt him shift and again he was eye to eye with me. He grazed a gentle finger across my cheek and holding my jaw adoringly pushed me onto the floor. A blush I knew was present on my cheeks and I smiled knowing he was the one creating it. He bent down wisp of hair falling down. His blue eye smoldering as I let him close in. Rush after rush of pure need crashed into me and I wanted to throw my arms around him and capture those torturous lips.

I suddenly felt a gust of wind and we both looked toward the door. There stood a very angry Ryuichi. This was unlike him Ryuichi never got angry. He starred as if I had attempted to kill him then walked over and kicked K hard in the stomach sending him flying to the floor. I went to help him up when I heard him and Ryuichi laugh. I was considerably surprised and stood up starring at the two hysterical boys'.

"Uh...am I missing something here?" Ryuichi leaned down beside K and throwing an arm around him laughed

"No I think you got it all, K is a whore and now he's stalking you his next client." I blushed deep red and stared as K softened in his laughter and a grim look spread across his face.

"I'm sorry Hiro, me and Ryuichi had an interesting night together and now he feel's the need to beat me for hitting on you." I blushed for so many reasons and it deepened when Ryuichi walked toward me and cupped my face in his hand.

"My, my, Hiroshi you have such a charming blush." I couldn't help but get redder. I saw a threatening look burn into my eyes as I looked at K from my position. He looked both hurt and angry. I wasn't sure though weather that look was meant for me or for Ryuichi. Ryuichi suddenly ran out the door and yelled he would be back in a bit. I don't know what he went for but I was sure it had some importance.

We stood their motionless frozen not speaking. I looked K's way as a blur of tears invaded my eyes. Knowing he did that to me hurt...a lot. He slept with Ryuichi when just a moment ago he had been kissing me. He was suddenly in front of me and whispered.

"I shouldn't have done that. I should have told you I was with Ryuichi last night...before." I shushed him my gentle finger resting on his lips, as I mouthed 'no'. Tears rolled down my cheeks and I threw my arms around his neck and pressed my lips against his. He kissed me roughly conjuring my spirit to play along with his. My body on fire as I savored his taste. I pulled away, my lips still burning from the contact. Ryuichi came in just after we pulled away and K gave me a look of sadness, we both knew this would never happen again. I definitely knew this because as K left he held Ryuichi's arm gently in his. My heart plummeted to my stomach as the door shut with Ryuichi and K walking away laughing loudly.

I clutched the couch and landed hard in to it. Why had he done that? Why had he let that happen? I looked toward the phone and brushing tears out of my eyes, picked up the phone and dialed. Waiting the soft voice finally picked up and I calmly spoke to her telling her to meet me at the pub.

K POV

I really hadn't wanted Hiro to find out that way but what could I do. I looked leisurely at Ryuichi, That bright smile on his face. He finally had what He wanted...me...but what did I have.

"K would you like an ice-cream I can buy us some at the park." I shook my head gently. I did not feel like eating my stomach was doing flips. "Well I'm getting myself some." He ran quickly off and I sat on a bench.

The sun beat down making you want to grab an ice cube and hide behind it but I sat under a tree so the shade hid me from the obvious. A slight breeze played threw the trees and I smiled happily enjoying the lullaby of summer. I thought back to my problem though. What was I supposed to say? 'I'm sorry Hiro but I just needed to get laid and Ryuichi was there...I think I'm going to do it a few more time's' Yeah I could almost laugh hearing myself say that. Like come on the thought of me purposely hurting Hiro...actually I couldn't laugh at that...I already did that. I couldn't stop hurting people even not saying that to him it still hurt's Ryuichi I'm just leading him on. My gut launched into overdrive as I saw the happy Ryuichi buy an ice cream. He looked at me and I saw the great amount of longing in those beautiful eyes. To think...I was his first. His first everything, first kiss, first make out, first one nightstand. I could hardly stand the thought of me taking little Ryuichi's virginity but...I had done it. Last night hadn't been what I wanted then again the last couple times; no I need to correct that, every time hadn't been what I wanted. Only my first time had completed me all the times after were just tries. They were wet and uncomfortable, Lusty and loud, rough and wild.

Most would love that kind of a sex life but I didn't I longed for soft warm, Gentle comforting night with the one I loved. I didn't want sex...I wanted to make love. Really truly get my pleasure and give it in return. I wanted to hold him after sex and play with his hair. Look into those eyes...like the first time. My first time had been perfect. I could admit the boy was younger than I was but we loved each other more than anyone could love. I got lost just looking in his eyes and became intoxicated over the scent of his hair. I had whispered a promise to him that night and as he held me tighter I had sealed it with a kiss.

...I had been a liar...I had broken that promise...recently...

**Review Responses**- I am still looking for a beta (pouts) any takers lol.

**Sesaru:** Okay I will give you specail candy (holds out chocolate Anime bars) hahahah so you liked him aswell hahahah dun worry Im sure we will see the hotty again. Its ok we all get busy don't beat yourself up about it hun. AHHH!! Not gummy bears how did you know? Gummy bears are my weakness. Okay I updated call them off PLEEZE!

**Kerith Verlaque Easdon: **hahah bravo for finding it I give you candy too ok lol. Hahahah dun worry I even confuse myself sometimes. Hmmmm you will see hun.

**Guren:** yeah they are getting more and more depressing as they go hun. I can't tell you who the angel is that would ruin everything. Yeah I know he's hot. You will also have to find that out for yourslf. Hahahah K and Ryuichi will sort things out. BOTH!? Hahahah. See ya hun. MMM your so tasty lol.

**Grimy Grunhilda Grunt: **hahahahah yes lots and lots and more to come.

**LittleMissYaoi:** Hahaha another person saying it was depressing well...it was lol. Wow that question was asked before to. Are you two conspiring against me? wow the other girl asked that question too now Im scared. Ya I know she is thankful hahah she reading this story. Ohhh Im really a fan with the lady's tonight. Wow maybe I will get into yur pants lol.

**Ryuichi Sakuma:** Oh...(blinks)...you read my story? Wow Im honored. I hope you like the steamy romance Ryu-kun. Byes.

**Lady Insomnia:** HAHA yeah I think the A/N was randon too lol. Well of course you your just so sweet. Oh no thanx needed lol. Hahah well you will just have to read and find out if he is. Hahaha maybe I can introduce you two. Hot guy with wings this is Lady Insomnia, Lady Insomnia this is hot guy with wings. Have fun. Hahaha yes well heres another chappy for you. Ryu's excuse is that he has always loved K and he doesn't quite no what K and Hiro's relationship means. WOW bad combination. Hahah ok luv nights.

**A/N:** OOOHHHHH the new green day song!!!!!!!!!!! I luv this song Boulevard of broken dreams!!!!!! Anyway yeah so there was the chappy Im sorry for the shortness and all hehehe. Yup yup. Anyway I hope my spelling wasn't horrible, and I have another Q for you. I think this prize is the best of them all. If you get this one right I will give you the next chappy in advance yes that is right as soon as I finish it you will get it and trust me I'm already done a page and a half of it lol. So pleez everyone review and answer. Oh and the next chappy is very VITAL!

**A.T.D**

**Q:** what was his promise to the boy he had lost his virginity to?


	9. Help Me

**Disclaimer:** NO I DO NOT OWN GRAVITATION…wow dejavue lol the oddest things..

**A/N:** HAHAH this chappy is like huge guys you have to lik luv me after I wrote so hard for you guys. I have a beta now. EVERYONE SAY THAKYU TO I think **LittleMissYaoi** Im not sure it was anonymous anyway yeah but thank who ever it is anyway. I will tell you at the end of this chappy if you were right. Anyway onto the long chappy see ya. Oh and just be warned my next chappy may be a while I will try to get it typed but I put my hand out of commission after losing my temper the other night and it is really odd to type with it bandaged. Anyway read on.

**Warning: this chappy contains attempted Rape!!!!**

Gravitation

**Disease of the mind**

_Help me!_

I entered the loud room. Lights flashed and people danced against each other rhythmically. I heard the familiar sound of our band and slouched into a chair. I couldn't escape it could I. I ordered a simple sex on the beach and waited for my accomplice to walk through the door and into our normal spot.

I felt the tension change in the room and new she had arrived. I watched as her small body walked toward me. The slow seductive steps, the hypnotizing sway of her hips, the way her breast lifted and dropped each time her foot made contact with the floor, and the way her hair gracefully fell behind her. She slipped into my booth as the drinks were delivered. Yes I said DRINKS; they already had made her drink. They were like servants to her, and they did anything she wanted…it sickened me.

I watched as she sipped it slowly from her glass. I almost puked at how she was dressed…it yelled slut. She wore a tight red tube top hardly covering her nipples, A pair of even tighter black leather pant's, and black hooker boots. The hoops in her ears could probably fit her whole head. Oh yeah that was she. Full-blown slut, it makes me wonder why I had never slept with her. She caught my attention with her swallow of her drink and I finally looked away from her cleavage. What? I hadn't been gawking it was just where I had been looking when I zoned out.

"Mika Seguchi you know why I called you right?" She gave me an all knowing glance and I scoffed

"Ayaka problems." I wanted to wipe the smirk off her lips. So I picked up my glass and casually said

"No. K…" She starred at me as if I were insane and raising her hands in defeat said

"Hey I can't do anything about his gun's there all credited for. Unless he shot you." I put my glass down.

"No I want you to fire him." Her face held even more shock.

"What? But I thought he was the best manager around." I tossed her a quick glance and sighed

"That's the problem…he's to good." she caught my attempt at keeping my distress under control and placing a soft hand on mine whispered.

"We may not get along all the time but I consider you a friend, Hiro what's wrong? Has K hurt you?" I looked away and with a painful tremble spilled everything.

After I had finished she starred at her drink thoughtfully. If she was attempting to look like she cared she was doing a good job of it. She looked up into my eyes and for the first time since I met her she actually looked worried.

"Hiro what he did was wrong…your not at fault. I know this for a fact. You need to forget him he's not worth it." She suddenly grabbed my wrist and pulled me out of my seat. "You need to have fun, no more worrying, you're with Mika the great now. I'll cheer you up!"

We were now pulled into the pattern of the dancer's Mika's body pressed delicately against mine. Her hair brushing against my face as her hips grinned against mine. My fingers trailed down her sides along the silken skin. I felt goose bumps raise along her skin and held my fingers against her hips. She wrapped her arms around my neck gently stroking the back of my neck with her index finger. Her eyes were shut but she was fully awake. A fine sheen of sweat was visible on her neck and I found myself wondering what that neck might taste like. Her scent found its way to my senses and I found myself drinking her in. I felt her shift and her mouth was now mere inches from my ear. She said it so quietly I almost missed it but I caught on quick.

"Tahoma will never find out…" She lingered the last syllables as she licked the shell of my ear and I shivered. How could someone I found so disgusting intoxicate me like this? I contemplated this for a moment and realized…I was vulnerable this would be wrong. How could she think of me in such ways? Especially when I was SO vulnerable. She was a married woman for fuck sakes. Though I was against this in anyway shape or form I found myself giving into the sensual teases of her tongue, it seemed that thing was always busy.

I felt myself being pushed against a wall. Hot wet lips kissing and sucking down my neck. A moan was torn from my throat and it hit me. She never cared. This was all a big ploy to get me in bed. I pushed her away roughly and starring at her heatedly yelled at her.

"How could you Mika? You know how vulnerable I am right now!" I ran out of the pub breathing heavily. The cool night air hitting me coolly and I shivered.

K POV

I sat in the overly crowded office, blowing a strand of hair out of my face I read faster. I needed to understand what happened. I knew Hiro wasn't capable of that. It was Hiro, Hiro had saved me from myself, and He had opened me up. I was afraid to love for years and then I met him. He shared things with me that no one could. We both had horrible past. I smelt a familiar smell and looked down into the bundle of brown hair.

"K-kun what's wrong you look so sad…has something happened? Did you find something sad about Hiro-chan?" I ruffled Ryuichi's hair and slipping an arm around him sighed loudly.

"No Ryu-kun I just was thinking." He looked up into my eyes and whispered

"Your family?" I froze as the word's lingered on the air.

"I wouldn't call them that Ryuichi." I slumped down in a near by chair and let him sit in my lap. I nuzzled my nose into his hair and breathed deep.

"I wouldn't either…I…can't believe…" I let him bury his face in my chest as he cried horribly loud. I hadn't wanted to let anyone in on my past but I needed to tell someone the truth so I told Ryuichi.

As a child my family hadn't always been the richest so in order to get money I offered to get a job at a young age, but since I was so young no one wanted me. My mother told me there was one way I could support them and I trusted her. With my whole heart I trusted her, because she was my mother and I thought she loved me…but I was wrong. She loved him. She loved that bastard child.

Klistelle had beaten me out of everything else. Out of intelligence, talent, love. He had cheated me and I wanted nothing more than to beat him at something so I did what I could. My mother introduced me to someone. She said he would show me what I had to do and as long as I listened to him I would bring in lots of money.

Being Naive I smiled up at her and went with the man. At first the job was ok. I washed and cleaned houses. Then I went on to clothing and footwear. He said I should get to know some of the people I worked for so I did…I became a friend with a few and he said I was a natural. He said I would probably get more money if I stayed overnight to do work, and yet again I listened. You'd think by now a fourteen year old boy could see it coming but…I didn't. I began to stay overnight a lot. Almost every night I was at another house cleaning and doing random errands.

I began to get very tired through out the days though. So he said that he had a plan, a way I could get out of doing so much work and get still more money. I was interested so I asked him what his idea was. He told me I could deliver drug's they needed. I agreed as long as they were legal and so it went like this I would pick them up Tylenol, Advil, and Benadryl. Anything they needed at the moment for whatever pain they had. Then I started to not recognize the names. I finally got to curious for my own good and asked one of my employers what it was I was delivering.

That night I went home. I couldn't sleep at the house. Bruises covered my face and back. Cut's dripped blood along my arms and my lip was cut. I softly lay down on the bed and heard the front door open. I figured my mom would be home she would come in and take care of me. Make sure I was safe. Yes I was right on one thing it was my mother. But she wasn't all loving instead she pulled me up by my short hair and threw me to the floor screaming I should be out working not lazing around. She threw me onto the lawn and yelled for me to get off my ass and work.

I crawled toward a near by bus shelter as the rain came down hard. I shivered alone in the rain until a familiar bus rolled up and out stepped my nemesis…Klistelle. I expected him to laugh and walk into the house but instead he picked me up and carried me into the house. I almost clung to the door I didn't want to go in. If she knew I wasn't working she would throw me away again but instead of announcing my arrival to my mom he carried me to his room. I blacked out a few moments later at the sound of him shushing me. I never thought he could be so gentle, so caring.

I woke I don't know how much longer to the silence of our empty house. I sat up fast and a shot of pain went threw my body. I stood up and limped to the door. Leaning on it painfully I forced my self to stay up and walked toward the end of the hall. My leg dragged behind me and before I knew it I couldn't hold myself up anymore and I was falling. I thought for sure I was going to have a painful fall but instead I was caught. I was caught in the strong embrace of…Klistelle. He picked me up and walking back to his room laid me back down. He shushed me again but I wouldn't allow myself to fall into that deep slumber again and reached out to him. I grabbed his hand and holding it tightly looked into his eyes making a deep connection.

I don't know what it was but suddenly he ripped his hand away and spun around. I thought something had upset him until I felt something being wrapped around my ankle. His ginger touches electrifying my skin. I heard his warm voice flow through my ears and greeted it with open arms. I let my head fall into the softness of the pillow as he spoke.

"You have to keep this on ok. It will help you to steady yourself when you walk." His tone almost sounded apologetic and then I realized why that was. "I'll tell mom I made you come home to help me here she'll understand." He stopped to breath deep and ran his fingers along my shin. I shivered as I felt his touch and looked down. Why was he doing this? He turned around and our eyes locked.

"I'm sorry mom is so unfair to you…I've told her you're the one she gave birth to but…" I cut in here my voice husky to my own ears.

"She won't listen…I was her mistake. You were the angel that dropped onto her door step." His eyes shimmered and I thought it was just the light but…it was tears. He was crying.

"You heard her?" He turned around so he was facing me. Tears about to pour over his cheeks.

"I heard her every night…talking to dad. She hates me and always will. I was born a mistake." He laid a hand softly onto my blanketed thigh and whispered.

"But it wasn't your fault she…was raped." I felt the stinging feeling in my eyes again and whispered back.

"But it is…I'm scum she saved you. You're her angel I'm her spawn." I saw something in his eyes at that moment I had never seen before…actually come to think of it. I never really looked at him. I didn't even speak to him. I guess that is why I never knew how caressing his voice was or…how handsome he was.

He had short black hair that jetted out shading his eyes. The bottoms of it curled and gel was not unknown to him. When he looked into your eyes you could see the burning plethora of red. I had never seen such vibrant eyes…but than again. How often did you see red eyes? He had a strong jaw and muscles tensed under his shirt. What he wore wasn't so bad either. He wore a pair of baggy white pants dragging down to the floor and a white muscle shirt. A silver chain dangled from around his neck and a large cross-hung off it.

I didn't know what happened after this until I looked back on this but…he began to cry. He threw himself into my arms and held me tight crying, and whispered through sobs into my ear how truly sorry he was for everything. I gripped him back holding him closely to my body as tremors shook the bed.

It was a few weeks later that I started to talk to him more. We would sit in the living room or in his room and talk about our days. We never ventured into my room though…it brought up to many painful memories for me and he knew I felt more comfortable in his room. I fell asleep in there a few times, nestled closely to him. My arms wrapped around his waist not letting go. Every night started to turn out this way…until…my boss started to get angry. He said I spent to many nights at home and that my employers were getting frustrated. I explained this to Klistelle and he offered to beat the living shit out of him for me but…I needed the money…so I went back. I worked twice as hard cleaning and getting drugs.

I thought things were going the best they could but on one of my trips I was caught with the drugs. I found myself in jail for delivering drugs I thought were allergy medicine. I was bailed out two days later and dragged home by my dad. He threw me into the wall of my room once we got in the house and yelled at me until I couldn't take the pain and I slammed my door in his face. I knew what was coming before it happened. I got ready and then I was tackled. Blow after blow hitting me in the stomach the head my face, my back. He left me in a pile on the floor for a good hour before Klistelle got home and ran upstairs. He said he had followed the trail of blood…my blood. It seemed our lovely father hadn't cleaned himself up after our adventure.

Klistelle apologized over and over again for not being there. He fixed me up and before I knew it we were laughing about how stupid dad would look if children's aid just happened to drop by. Then as if in an answer to my prayer the doorbell rang. I guess my dad hadn't realized the mess he was in as he opened up the door. It WAS indeed children's aid. Apparently they had gotten an anonymous tip that something was going on over here and came to check it out. They arrested him that day after checking my body out.

A few months after I was sitting in a court room as I heard the great news. Klistelle had full custody of me. Life was ok after that but I stuck with my job. Klistelle did have a job but not one good enough to support the two of us. I worked hard again but I was happier my clients said they could see it and I was happy because of that. It was one dreary day when everything tumbled out from under my feet. I had been working late and as I was finishing up some laundry I went to deposit the clean clothes in my clients room.

I got a chill as I entered it but figured it was just an atmosphere change. I had to hurry up because Klistelle was coming to walk me home tonight and I needed to be waiting for him. I pushed the last of the clothing into the drawer and turned around to see my client standing at the door. I backed up against the dresser searching with my clumsy fingers for something to fight back with because I knew…what was going to happen. He took a step closer a smirk meeting his lips as he closed the distance. I was thrown onto the bed harshly, I kicked and punched and screamed but everything I seemed to do didn't work. I cursed and then…I froze. It was finally hitting me what was happening. I couldn't move everything seemed to be speeding out of control but I didn't budge, I didn't try to protect myself, and now I would be stripped of my virginity and it would be all my fault because I didn't, No I couldn't fight back. I knew it was my fault I probably lead him on in someway. I was being paid back for all the times I had screwed up. I could feel his lips searing my neck and his hands scraping my stomach roughly. Then the next thing I knew I saw those eyes.

Klistelle ripped the man off me throwing him to the floor and kicking him hard. His eyes were a blood red. The man stumbled up and Klistelle punched him hard in the jaw, the man flipped back hit the wall and was out cold. I felt tears stinging my eyes and suddenly those warm arms were around me holding me. I wrapped my arms around him tightly pleading for him to keep me safe. Moments later he was walking down the street with me in his arms. He whispered softly to me and I almost passed out in his arm, until, I felt that very familiar brizzle graze my neck. I knew it was coming. He always had to meet me after work to deliver my checks. I turned my head over my shoulder as he walked up to us.

"What? Couldn't handle your work today?" I shivered as the harshness in his voice cut through me. I began to answer when I felt the muscle in Klistelle's arms flex and knew he was holding me tighter.

"Well maybe he would have been able if he wasn't working for a lecher!" I heard a bitter tone in his voice I had never heard before and clutched his shirt tightly.

"The boy wanted money, what ever the client wants he gives." I shot my head back, did he mean what I thought he meant "And if his client wants certain pleasures he should indulge him." I felt Klistelle shift me and then he placed me on a bench. He turned around meeting the other man face on he glared and growled.

"My brother is a virgin and will stay that until he is good and ready!" They met glares burning each other.

"As soon as he got into this job he sealed his fate. He was born to be a slut and that's what he will be!" He sneered at me harshly and I clutched my sides in fear. "To bad I never got a taste of you…I'm sure you taste delicious." I almost vomited as his words floated through my head.

"Bastard! You know nothing about my brother! I'll teach you to speak like that of K!" I was startled he…used my nickname. I had never heard him use it. It had such passion behind it. I watched the two as Klistelle ran to him and I noticed a glint, Metal! A gun!

"KLISTELLE!!!" My throat tightened and my heart burst as I saw the gunfire and…my…brother. I ran to him fast my little broken body kneeling beside him tears flooding down my eyes. "K-K-Klistelle…don't…don't die on me…don't leave me…I need you I love you so much..." I gripped his shirt in my hands and leaned over him sobbing. "Don't leave me to die here Alone!" I saw his eyes open slowly.

"K I…" He grazed a gentle hand down my cheek "I…won't…ever leave…you…" His hand began to drop and I grabbed it the same way I did the night he had brought me in from the rain.

"Please I want you here right here in front of me!" My sobs choked my words and I almost couldn't get it out. "I've never loved anyone the way I love you!" His maroon eyes looked deeply into mine and almost as clear as day he whispered.

"I went through a lot for you bro…I just wish I could erase me from your memory's, it would be easier. Grow up and be the man I need you to be. Be strong and love someone the way you love me. I'm so sorry…please forget all of this…I love you…Kiorou…" He died that night in the rain, In my arms. I was so angry after that I hunted down my boss and killed him gruesomely. Even for my age I was capable of terrible things.

Now I sat hear rocking a saddened Ryuichi. He was never meant to bare the burden of knowing my past but he did for many years. I told only him and only he knows the truth.

The meaning behind Klistelle…

**Review Responses:**- Please NO ONE stop answering the Q's if your wrong.

**swtcandiee: **Yeah your answer was correct hun that was almost the exact thing I was thinking about. Yeah I know he is mean in this but as you can tell he has reason to be. Awww don't pout sweet pea everything will be ok. HAHA I don't know what he meant by little he could mean a few things…though somehow I'm thinking he's big. Yeah I like the chemistry to lol. NOW!! You mean they weren't your fav pairing before? How are you so sure he is? Aww you're so cute.

**Anonymous: **Awww thankyou your so sweet no one says that to me they always complain and it makes me feel bad. I'm an idiot I know. Thanku byes.

**Anonymous:** why is it Anonymous I know you and hey that might just happen this year me and my friend may go to England lol. Oh but you could be lol. Yeah I know they do don't they. Oh you will ok then you will be after this chappy ok. No I'm sorry you were incorrect but try again ok hun. OH OH I was called babe again and I'm getting laid by a sexy ass women. See ya.

**  
Kerith Verlaque Easdon:** and they weren't interesting before? Lol. Huh what now I'm confused…awww I will try to read soon to tell you the truth I lost the link. See ya.

**Sesaru:** Yes that was the answer hun you got it right lol. I already got an offer for beta but if she falls through I will give you an email. YAY! You called them off I think you deserve a kiss for that…but alas I am the only girl here other than a few individuals who are bi lol.

**Guren:** eheheheheh yeah it is very suspenseful. You bother to answer cuz I luv you and I would be sad if you stopped but you aren't right but please try again. Well I have to be off see ya my sweet.

**Lady Insomnia:** HAHHA wow ok stick with that…how do you know its his daddy? Maybe he does you'll just have to wait until I tell you his name. Sorry your not correct but thanks for trying see ya luv.

**Yume Ishida the dream ang: **hahahahaha everyone thinks K is Klistelle. Aww yes poor RORO I luv him dearly. Thanku and may I say I just luv your name where did you come up with it. Aww I'm sorry the answer was almost correct.

**A/N:** I think this is the most amount of reviews I have gotten for one chappy. I AM VERY SAD!! I think I lost a reviewer her pen name is **Eitriarch **she was so nice and then she got aggravated about the Q's and I think that may have upset her. PLEASE COME BACK! Anyway g2g see ya. Byes

**A.T.D**


	10. Jasmine

**Disclaimer:** I…do not own Gravi…but….I do have a gravi song on my computer.

**A/N: **This chappy was far harder to write than any other chappy I have written. The plot I had no problem with, the story itself was fine but just physically writing it hurt like a (pardon my French) bitch. As I said I lost my temper and hurt myself…pretty much I punched my wall several times but anyway so I worked on this double hard so I could get it to my Beta YES I SAID BETA!!! This is going to be the first chappy I am going to get beta'd. I feel I should warn you there is a lime in this chappy so yeah if you dun like it dun read.

**Another thank you to LittleMissYaoi for her wonderful time and patience to beta this. I LOVE HER!!!!!! **

**This chappy is dedicated to Dark-Dreams-69 With out you I wouldn't have been able to get through everything this week. **

Gravitation

**Disease of the mind**

_Jasmine…_

I hunched my back over a small cubicle in the office. I told Hiro I had my way's… it pays to sleep with an officer of the law. She, again was just a practice, again I was left unsatisfied. I flipped though the many articles before me. There was something about all of this that was just so confusing. I thought back to the saddened Hiro how could any one put someone so perfect through such torture. I wanted to cradle him in my arms and wipe away his tears, but right now I needed to focus on finding who, was behind this. I had to push away my foolish dreams of caressing his body. I flipped through one last page and dropped my head onto the desk. How could I change the past with out going insane? I wish there were an easier way… I wish there had been some clues.

I shot my head up and flipped back to a recent picture I had seen. There lay infant Hiro calm as a cucumber but why wasn't he crying. Why did it look like he had just been placed on the ground and not thrown screaming from the car, maybe… because he wasn't! A light flashed in my head and I looked hard not at Hiro but at the ground around him and found…footprint's. In this picture though no one had gone near Hiro yet…so how did they get there? Whose footprints were they? I suddenly decided I need clips of this accident.

I worked my charm on another police officer getting a large smile from her and her number as I walked into a small room and slid the first tape in. I felt the room chill as an image of Hiro's totaled car came into view. I felt sick as I imagined actual body's being inside there. The screen scanned to beside the baby. There were those footprints they looked almost impossibly faint.

The footprints were large enough to be a grown adult but the shallowness of them was startling. The man would've had to weigh next to nothing. I watched closely as the baby seemed to be starring at something… something I couldn't see. Then a feather… it fell from thin air and dropped onto the ground. Purple pastel tipped feather drifting to the ground. There was something off about this and I looked hard searching for a bird or some sort of animal that could have dropped it but… there was nothing. I watched the tape several times, each time being more sickened by the tone everything was set up in. It felt like this wasn't an accident like there was something more. I listened closely.

_I stand here in front of the scene of a most terrifying accident. A car accident has occurred just south of Kuragama high way. Officials tell us that the car flew off the highway and rammed into a pole just outside the road. After the impact the car burst into flames. Though there is no explanation as to why it happened so quickly. Two are dead and there is one reported survivor. A miracle has happened today this child has survived a terrible accident with out even a scratch. Now that is amazing. They are not giving out names as of yet but we know that both a terrible and great thing has happened here today. This is Tokyo tower news and I'm Angela Spry signing out._

I knitted my eyebrows in confusion. I never heard of it exploding before. I paused the scene as I thought hard over everything I had scene. Just then I noticed something by the car… it was a scorched cigarette butt. I couldn't figure out the make so I figured I would print it off and go to the pro.

Hiro POV

I sat in my lonely apartment the lights off and my head resting on the couch. The loud club had given me a headache and I wanted nothing more than for it to go away. I looked out against the betraying night… it was not eerie nor was it mysterious… but it was beautiful. I lifted my head and walked into the small washroom. I started the bath and pulled my shirt over my head, I pulled out a six-pack of candles and lit them scattering them around the bathroom. I had a slight infatuation with candles and they seemed to calm me. I pulled my tight pants down allowing my skin to breathe in the damp air of the bathroom. I poured a small vile of scented bath liquid into the water and watched it turn the water a deep blue. I pulled down my boxers and looked into the tiny mirror beside me. I looked down at the scar's lining my biceps and chest… then turned away. Felling stinging tears fill my eyes.

_Were you even born a man Nakano? _

_Your sickening you must be punish for this unruly conduct _

_Stop screaming. Pain is only in your brain _

_You made me do this _

_I hate bringing this out as a weapon but you make me _

_How could you have feelings for a boy? _

_What is wrong with you?_

Tears pooled at my feet, lately I hadn't hidden from the pain I had encouraged it. I pushed these thoughts away and stepped into the warm water. It always seemed that when I was upset I turned to a bath to calm me. My cooled skin basked in the warmth and I let the scents fill my nostrils. I had always loved the smell of jasmine. I never knew why I suddenly had a vision of my mother her hair spinning out around her as she turned. She smelled of jasmine she always had. I smiled watching her twirl a small baby then she looked happily at me and began to sing.

"Hush little baby don't say a word

Mama's gonna by you a mocking bird

And if that mocking bird don't sing

Mama's gonna find you a new song to sing

Baby you know who did it you do just think back I know you know. Hiro my little baby boy the secret's in your heart, my heart."

I woke out of the dream my whole world thrown out of the rhythm it had taken on. The water was still warm around me and I pulled my body up a bit higher. I had slipped further in while I had been daydreaming and wasn't comfortable with the position I was in. My mind was still spinning from that dream my world flipping me over off the cliff it had been perched on. I rested my head on the wall and thought it through.

I had a feeling my mother was trying to tell me something but what could it have been. I slipped down again but didn't bother pulling myself up. How could the answer be in both our hearts? Was there something I blocked out from my past… something that resides in my heart? I challenged my brain to interrupt with some sort of disagreement but it didn't. Could there really be something there? I felt something touch my forehead and recognized it as a hand. I felt for it and held it between my fingers, this had happened before. I would hold it for a second and then it would leave, though this time it didn't…

K POV

I stood outside his door, ringing the doorbell every other minute. I needed to speak to him and this couldn't wait. I heard footsteps and the door being unlocked and suddenly I had Yuki in my face. His golden eyes burned through my blue ones. Each breath I let out measured by the amount of excitement I was holding back.

"Yuki I need to speak to you let me in." He gave me a passive look and then stepped to the side.

"There's no point saying no you'll just break down my door and attempt to shoot me." I walked in leisurely. I heard him shut the door, and asked if there was anybody there. I could tell by his annoyed look that there was no one there.

I walked slowly into his living room and sitting on his leather couch, I pulled out some papers and waited until he sat down. I made eye contact and quietly said

"If you were to see a burnt cigarette could you tell me which brand it is?" He gave me another stupid look and said

"You smoke figure it out yourself." His tone was not something I was in the mood for and I threw the pictures onto the table.

"Can you tell me which brand this is?" He went as white as a sheet and then composing himself threw them back.

"I have no idea what brand that is, now if you will excuse me I have some business to attend to." I looked him over once and standing up held out my hand.

"Well thanks for your time Eiri… " He brushed passed my hand snobbishly and opened the door harshly ordered me out. I felt the chill of his look my entire way out the door. As it shut I held up the pictures to my sight. "Was he angry because I asked a stupid question or was he angry because he saw who was in that picture. Out of everyone's sight." I stepped into the elevator calmly going through everything in my head. A vision of Klistelle made its self-known and tears brimmed my eyes. All vision blurring behind a wall of tortures tears.

I pushed myself off the wall calmly deciding to go out somewhere. Get away from my problems… but than I remembered… I needed to get this information to Hiro. He deserved to know what I did. I spent an hour driving around and still found myself at the same place… Hiro's apartment! I knocked quietly on the door and it slid open. That was odd, I walked in and pulled out my gun. The door shut quietly behind me. I walked across the small hallway my shoes making a soft thump sound. I turned the corner bracing myself… nothing. I placed my back against the wall and quickly strode to the bathroom. It looked like there was fire and I needed to know if the culprit was still in there.

I turned into the bathroom quickly and stopped, frozen in place. My heartbeat didn't slow down it got faster, pounding out of my chest. I put my gun onto the sink starring at Hiro his soft skin supple to the touch. His body was slick with water. His hair caked to his chest and neck. The room smelled of Jasmine and I took it in but the scent I really searched for was the smell of Hiro. That amazing smell was filling my senses. I could see his abs under the water. He must have worked hard over the years to shape them so perfectly. His biceps pulsed in the light. Candlelight always seemed to make him look so much more delicious. My shoes, socks, pants, jacket and shirt were off by now. The heat had left me so overwhelmed I just needed to get out of them. I was left standing beside his bathtub in my boxers and my tie. I never seemed to bother with that thing.

I watched as a hair fell in front of his face and I reached out to brush it aside. As my fingers grazed his wet forehead his hand reached up and held mine. I felt that electric shock I had the day we had kissed and moved closer to him. I let one of my legs slip into the tub and after getting in slipped on top of him. I straddled his legs and watched his closed eyes. I pressed my thumb against his soft skin my body reacting to the beat of his heart. With each deep thump electricity pulsed through my body. Each moment with him felt like sweet summer nights. I felt like a child again.

His eyes opened feeding my soul with urgency only lovers know. He seemed to be surprised and I shuddered to know that he would be angry. My mind went from complete lust to alarm and I shifted my weight. I went to stand and felt him hold my cheek his soft ivory hand cupping my jaw. I looked into his eyes and for the first time ever I felt that completion, I felt that inner devotion to hold him and taste him. His eyes kept mine and I knew he saw the same thing. I moved my jaw slightly and kissed his fingertip, the sweet taste of something wonderful in that one kiss.

I kissed his pulse, his shoulder, and his neck. I kissed the soft flesh of his ear and nibbled it gently. I felt him sigh as his hand tangled itself in my hair. I kissed his jaw and then…there he was. That heated gaze only mine. I needed him I could feel his taste and suffered waiting for that bliss. I pressed my lips to his. Each groove of his lips was, being memorized by mine. The soft flesh, but with a strong force behind it. I kissed with all my heart capturing that hunger even he hid from the world. His other fingers played along my chest and I groaned into our kiss. I slid a finger over his ear and felt him gasp against my lips. I took this for advantage and slid my tongue into his mouth. It was warm and wet and sweet. My breathing quickened, as our kiss deepened each second. Thrusting us further into each other.

I wrapped my arms around him possessively capturing that small angel I loved. I lifted him with all my strength, standing up in the warm water. My boxers wet drooping across my hips. My tie hanging heavily around my throat but our kiss still went on. His fingers played along my jaw fingers pressing heatedly against my skin. I walked out of the bathroom my lips firmly possessing that kiss which he denied me oh so long.

I lay him softly onto the bed; I crawled onto the bed above him my lips never breaking from his. Each minutes that electricity filled me completely. It energized me and I found myself pushing him up, up against the headboard my lips finally broke from his nipping and biting my way down his neck. My tongue pushing against that sweet candy sliding down the crook of his neck and sucking at his shoulder blade. I slid my fingers down his stomach the cravings intensifying. I spun my finger around his navel as I ghosted my fingers down further. I heard the rumble leaving his lips and before I knew it a sensational moan escaped his sensitive lips. Pleasure erupted from every pore of my body and I moved my fingers lower along with my mouth. I pulled his nipple into my mouth tentatively grazing the sensitive skin with my mouth. I felt him tense as my fingers reached their destination. He let out a soft yelp as I bit his nipple and his gasp flowed through my ears.

"K…" I moaned in response feeling the gasp hit home. I licked down his stomach gasp's being removed from his throat as he arched off the bed. My lips jumped from his stomach to his thigh. My lips pressing against the skin I felt so close to my lips. I moved my lips up his inner thigh I licked my way up and once I reached the ending I growled huskily.

"Roro-kun…"

**A/N:** Well that was it…hehehehe lime heheh Have I actually ever had a lime in this story before lol. Well I hope you guys loved it as much as I did. And I hope my lime wasn't TOO bad. I tried to please you guy's lol. Please give me lotsa reviews because they are helping my hand heal… actually I think they are… but I'm psycho so it doesn't count lol.

**Review Responses**

**Lightsword: **You like this story!! Keep it up!! Lol your review was soooo small aww that's so cute.

**Ryuichi Sakuma:** Hello luv! Why yes he did say that didn't he…but did you ever think that maybe he was telling the truth and Klistelle IS still alive? Heheh you're so cute keep on reviewing. >0

**Sesaru:** Heheh yes you were right weren't you lol. I wrote it as quick as I could with my hurt hand I swear and know my hand is making a quick recovery. I know that there very sad but wasn't it nice to get some hot lime action in there. Ohhhhh don't cry I may cry. Here you can have this. (Gives you lucky writing drawing pen.)

**Yume Ishida the dream ang:** yeah I know she is evil that's the fun part…lol maybe he will you'll just have to wait and see if he does. Maybe Ryuichi won't be sad…maybe he will find someone else? AHHHHH don't let the monkeys eat me (pouts) I'll do give you sexual favors lol. Jokes. WOW that is a very long reason but a good reason ooh your doing a Manga oh please tell me more I have a few myself. That is such a cool name. I have such smart reviewers.

**Dark-Dreams-69:** Ok….you've confused me THE WRITER!! HAHAH no question for last week and no question for this week. Yeah it does sound like Mel lol but that IS Mel. Your confused? Hahha I never explained eh? Lol

**Kerith Verlaque Easdon:** Yes the plot has thickened hasn't it lol. I haven't forgotten as a matter of fact I think Im going to read some more tonight. Awwww you miss me your so Kawaii. Well g2g see ya.

**LittleMissYaoi:** It's ok things like that happen al the time. Uhhhhhh….(blinks) pleasured…uh (gulp) Jennie! O.O wow what do I say to that? Lol Aww you loved the chappy? Thank you!!! Yeah I know everyone said it was depressing. Well I think you are let's see how many times did I say than my new Beta? (Gulps…blushes) hehe you called me baby lol. Ok see ya

**Lady Insomnia:** It's ok to be wrong I still like ya hun. He will have a very nice name I promise. Maybe he was lol you never know hun you never know. I do it makes this fic a fic sad, sad lives. Yes it is a lot of fun. It is healing thank you very much for caring. I did through something heavy at the wall…it made a dent.

**Guren:** Thank you for the lovely compliments I'm glad you like my story so much.


	11. Slap me

Disclaimer: I. DO. NOT. OWN. GRAVITATION. I. DO. NOT. OWN. GRAVITATION. I. DO. NOT. OWN. GRAVITATION. I could go for hours trust me lol. 

**A/N: **YEAH MAN ahahaha another chappy oh oh and there is lime in it hehehehe well I couldn't just leave my favorite reviewers hanging lol. My hand healed guys its allllll better. OK! If any of you guys can download music. PLEASE download the band Smile Empty Soul's song "For you" it is soooooooo sweet and I write all my sad parts of my story to it. SO if you download it you can listen when you read it lol. Anyway read on…

**B/N **(beta note) Yo little people! I very happy to be able to say 'hey' to you all. I'm not really sure what to say but thanks for all the reviews and keep reading. I'll try my best as a beta. Blame me for any mistake it's my entire fault. Mwahaha! Sorry just randomness. I am the randomness Queen! Lol. Enjoy!

**I'D LIKE TO DEDICATE THIS CHAPPY TO _Kerith Verlaque Easdon _BECAUSE WITH OUT HER I COULD NEVER GET MY YUMMY LIMES GOIN!!!!!!!**

Gravitation

**Disease of the mind**

_slap me_

Hiro POV

I didn't know what had come over me in that short amount of time but I was willing to give it all to him. I wanted to let him feel pleasure in ways I had never before. My gasp came faster than expected every time he touched me. I could feel his soft lips against my thigh and suddenly his breath rolled across my erection. I practically screamed at the light caressing movement of his touches. I felt a heat rush through my body. The type of electricity that would burn others only intensified my need. I arched my back off the bed eagerly awaiting anything he had.

My body reacted fast when I heard him sweetly growl my name. I moaned in response to that hungry plea. I needed to feel him more than anything in my life. I needed those lips covering me. I needed that tongue pressed along my skin and I needed his thoughts to revolve around not only my pleasure but his as well.

I waited holding my pants under my control as I felt his gaze settle on me. I shivered as I imagined the wanting he must have been holding back. I felt myself sink back toward the bed, my back no longer arched. I felt the heat in my stomach settle, my lust calming down and I could think again. I was about to open my eyes again wen I felt his wet tongue slide sown my shaft. I gasped as my world blasted around me and my back arched up again. My moan echoed in my room and I knew he was teasing me.

I growled in anger but before I could say anything I felt his lips settle on my head. He kissed me gently. I wriggled under him and moaned loud, I wanted this to stop. This torture, I couldn't escape. I felt his lips begin to open my member getting wet I felt his kisses getting deeper. I whipped my head back and forth. I couldn't control the ecstasy I was feeling I clutched the blankets and arched my back again. Sweat dripped down the middle of my abs. I snaked my fingers into my hair and groaned loudly. He had me completely under control and I almost couldn't help myself.

My erection was so hard it was almost painful. I needed release but he was teasing me so much. I bucked my hips upward and was rewarded with a slight feel of the inside of his mouth. He pulled back fast not letting me get any more. I whimpered as I remembered what he did. How he just pulled away. My mumble was quiet but it was still there.

"Son…of…a…bitch…" I was surprised I got that much out with out choking on my own drool. I felt him laugh and with each chuckle he breathed out onto my aching member. I whimpered yet again as he whispered.

"Tsk tsk Roro kun watch your language…" This last thought left me with his lips on my stomach then a burning sensation in my erection as he kissed it. I slammed my head against the pillow.

_I was suddenly my old self again. I was back at the orphanage. I was lying in his bed. He had put me there and now he was on top of me kissing my neck. I had my arms around him and I was trying to pull off my pants. I had them around my ankles and he was down to just his boxers. His tongue was stroking my ear gently. I was moaning and growling and so was he. He pulled my shirt off and bit my nipple I grunted in pleasure as he licked my stomach. I pulled him back up and kissed him hard slipping my tongue into his mouth. He tasted sweet almost as if he did it on purpose._

_Suddenly my boxers were off and he was rubbing against me his being thrown onto the floor hours ago. I couldn't take this and realized he was teasing me. Wasn't that just like Klistelle to tease at the most stressful moments? I looked up at him that smirk was plastered on his face again. I knew he wanted to just get up and walk away right now. He always loved to tease me like that, but I knew if he did that, he probably would hear me whimper and come running back. _

_I was off in lala land and got a very startling wake up. His lips bruised mine he was kissing me harder than I had ever been before and I was feasting off it. My moans and gasp filled his mouth. I wouldn't know until later that, that was just his way of distracting me from the real surprise. _

I felt something skim my opening… a finger? I growled then suddenly I hissed and bit his lip. He was inside me…

I was back to reality… but reality was no better. K was hot against me his lips trailing down my member. This felt so good; it felt so much like that first night with Klistelle I was rushing head first into oblivion. My pants were uncontrolled and I had to grasp the blankets hard in order to keep from plunging into his warm mouth.

The room was caving in on me, the heat rising every moment I could take in a breath. I wished this would never end. Just the feel of him against me caused such sweet pleasures. I guess I had jinxed myself because just then he stopped. I was about to whimper and pounce on him when I realized… something wasn't right. I looked down at him and my vision blurred. Everything went fuzzy and I could barely keep my lunch down.

"Klistelle… how could you… do this… to me?" My body tensed as I saw the pain flashing through Ryuichi's eyes and the tear's surface, I could tell K had tensed by this to. I saw him move and then he whispered.

"Ryu… I…" He reached out to Ryuichi and he took a step back.

"I trusted you… you weren't… you… I loved you!" These words burned into my brain.

"_I told you I loved you…does that mean nothing to you?" _

"_Roro Kun…I swear I never said anything…" _

"_You blabbed it to everyone didn't you? Oh Klistelle got laid lets tell everyone!" _

Ryuichi turned and ran out the door. K's glance fell to the floor and I laid my head back. I aloud the blood flow to go back to my brain and I whispered.

"Don't just sit there go to him… he needs you." I sat up and stared him in the eyes. He gave me one last look as he stood up and ran out the door. I lay my head back again letting the wind hitting the windows sink in to my thoughts… then I felt like I was drop kicked and I sat up. My thoughts reeled… did he call him… Klistelle?

Ryuichi POV

My feet thudded as hard as they could the cold night air hitting my face as I ran through the complex corridor. I ran down the stairs my heart pounding at my ribs and my tears stinging my eyes. Each breath burned as I took it in. The one man I had given everything to, the one man I had loved my whole life… cheated on me.

I wasn't watching where I was going and ran face first into someone. I was thrown back a few feet and when I looked up they're stood a VERY hansom man. His hair was dark and reflected the light His eyes were mesmerizing catching my attention. I watched as he looked down at me and bending over helped me up.

"Hey you ok man? You went down pretty hard, you're crying did you hurt yourself?" I was awestruck but frantically wiped my tears away and beamed at him.

"Oh no you didn't hurt me at all. I should have been watching where I was going." He gave me a skeptical look and replied.

"You still didn't answer my question. Are you ok?" I tried to hold back the tears but it was all eating at me and every moment he asked me such intimate questions I would choke up more.

"I… I'm… I'm fi… ne." His eyes flashed with worry and he placed a hand on my shoulder and whispered.

"Your not and it wasn't that fall that made you cry… why are you upset?" His hand felt like something I had never felt before. He truly wanted to know. I felt my sob's rise again but instead I turned my attention to the sound of footsteps on the upper corridor. I clutched his forearm and staring into his deep eyes I pleaded.

"Don't let him find me… hide me please…" His eyes took on so much character and he nodded, he new I needed to get away and he didn't even know my story. I looked for a corner or something he could hide me in as I heard K coming down the stairs. It was too late I would be caught. I was frantic… then.

I felt to warm lips press against mine. Wet moist lips they tasted much better than K's they didn't have the bitterness of cigarettes but they still had a tint of liquor. I felt his hand glide up to my jaw and run along my ear. His other hand rested on my hip and he slipped his previous hand to the nape of my neck. He snaked his fingers through my hair and I groaned as he brushed the sensitive skin there. I felt his tongue enter my mouth, that warm sensation of sweet lovers warmth… I hit metal. He had a tongue ring! It was weird to feel something so alien in a kiss but it was so… sensual. The kiss was deepened until my head was tilted back and my arms were wrapped around his neck. He pressed me against the wall and then I heard the footsteps stop. He pulled away from me and turning his head around grumbled angrily.

"Do you want something?" I heard K's choked embarrassment and I hoped that he hadn't seen me.

"I… um… did you guys see a young boy run through here? Umm… he has dirty blond hair umm… violet eyes… a bunny?" I heard the guy snort and then he turned back to me and staring straight at me mumbled.

"I never saw a YOUNG BOY did you Kitto?" I shook my head and he snickered and closing his eyes grumbled. "Neither me, nor my girlfriend saw any YOUNG boys." I heard K shuffle and he mumbled.

"Ok… sorry for interrupting I'll leave then. Thanks for the help." The guy looked back up at me and then clearly said

"Its ok we should have taken this into my room, I'm sure you never meant to interrupt. I hope you find your YOUNG boy." I saw a smirk grace his wet lips and he turned to face K and seductively said "Oh and I really like your boxers. There very flashy and the tie with it makes you look very sophisticated." I could almost feel him wink and K go red. I heard K go back up the stairs and to his room. I let out a loud sigh and resting my head on his shoulder mumbled

"That was close…" He held me tighter and laughed softly.

"So where were we Kitto?" I looked up at him angrily and hit him softly.

"You PERV! What kind of a girl do you think I am!" We both laughed at this and I found that even while we were laughing he held me. I had forgotten about all the sad stuff just by a little joke, but now that I thought about it everything sad flooded through my barriers.

I clutched his shoulder and he stroked my back. I knew he new there was something wrong, but there was something I needed to know before I told him my story. I looked up into his eyes slowly and asked

"What is your name?"

**A/N:** HEHHE yes I have a beta note at the beginning I figured it was best for her to get a say every once in a while. She does just as much as I do. She makes this story readable lol. HEHHE I would also like to thank my lovely Beta once more for doing everything she is sooo sweet and such a cool person. Oh I would also like to thank Dark-Dreams-69 for the use of her characters name lol. Well I best be off, see you guys.

**Review Responses**- hey if you guys want I make anime wallpaper and I crave compliments so email me if you want to see one.

**ScarletteAdmirer:** hahahahahh maybe I will write more. I dunno I think I'm going to do an Inuyasha fic than I will do another. You'll jut have to see.

**Ninja No Shi: **Yes Roro kun is Hiro! Lol I think you did miss something. Or did you catch onto something no one else did. Thank you I'm glad you think its wonderful. Well you just found out how he took it

**Yume Ishida the dream ang:** yes yes I did miss you very much. Hhahahaha eventually it will all make sense. Yes and I continued that lime. Don't worry if it helps you I don't understand this stiry much. Tsubasa is really good. I liked it a lot and DNAngel is good to. .HackIm updating don't worry.

**Sesaru:** dun worry the healing is underway. I can type perfectly lol so I'm good now. Sound's like someones getting a lil to excited from this lime I see…that's why I wrote more in this chappy. I did write more of the lime hehhe. Huh what things are you going to do with that pen…maybe I shouldn't write anymore limes if your foing to get that excited. LOL

**Raven:** Thank you I am glad you love it so much. YOU ARE TTTOOOO CUTE!!! Lemon is like a sex scene like graphic sex and a lime is just like playing around its not sex but its pretty close. Well that's good you had the guts to ask and I am honored you asked me. Well if there are any other Q's you have don't hesitate to ask. Thankyou for mentioning my hand it is fully recovered now. I can't answer that Q. It's ok to be confused I am sometimes.

**Swtcandiee:** oh wow that got you really excited didn't it. I would hate to know what this chappy did to you lol. You know I am the most evil person in the world hun lol. Dun worry I love lemons to. Yeah I know the action is what makes a story a story. Well I g2g see ya hun

**Ryuichi Sakuma:** well you are cute so don't think anything about it. Well I paid more attention to you in this chappy ryu. Heehehehe.

**Dark-Dreams-69:** heheeh I know it was sad and the dedication you deserved. I know you like to help but really sometimes you should stop helping. I need to do some stuff on my own you know what I mean.

**Lightsword:** hahahahaha hey man I didn't complain I don't mind the short reviews there not as hard to respond to.

**Kerith Verlaque Easdon:** Hey I did send you emails luv so there, I continued it lol just for you hun. Oh no don't apolagize at least you reviewed right? Well see you soon hun luv ya

**Guren: **I am keeping it up among other things lol.

**Lady Insomnia:** hahahahahah yes everyone keeps giving me compliments on that I didn't know it was that good. Awww your on holiday I hope you have a nice holiday! Ohh I c nope I don't do things that way lol. I like denting walls. See you byes hun luv ya

**LittleMissYaoi:** Hyper me? no… … …hahahhah I would not be hyper. Hahaha you go you're a very good beta hehe. Hahaah they didn't exactly have sex but it was hot. Awwww Im glad it made you happy. Oh please don't call me baby-girl. You will get me so excited you don't understand what that name does to me.

**A.T.D**


	12. Kissing you

Disclaimer: so…(shifty eyes hides copyright)…I don't own nuttin…

A/N: Yup yup another chappy comin right at yeah lol. OHHHHHH CHRISTMAS BREAK!!!!! OK OK I AM CALM!! Lol yup yup calm. I'm so tired so I'm not writing much of a A/N…see ya. Hey there was no Beta note :( I forgot to put it in.

**I DEDICATE THIS CHAPPY TO ALL MY REVIEWERS!!!! YOU GUYS ARE GREAT!!!**

Gravitation

**Disease of the mind**

_Kissing you_

Ryuichi POV

He was one of the best looking guys I had seen since K and I wasn't going to just let him walk away with out even knowing his name.

"Tatsuha my name is Tatsuha. I just moved here to live with my brother Yuki Eire. He's a writer you've probably heard of his books." I starred in awe I knew I had recognized him from somewhere. He looked so much like his brother.

"Yeah I know him personally he is dating one of my friends." I felt his eyes flash and he snickered saying

"Shuichi? You are friends with him? Your so lucky he is adorable. Hey! You never told me your name. This is unfair. Come on, either you tell me or I keep calling you Kitto." I felt laughter tickle my throat again and I coughed out.

"My name is Ryuichi Sakuma." I saw the look in his eyes change drastically at the mention of my name and he blinked before suddenly falling over. I gasped as he fell and I kneeled down beside him. "Are you ok?" He shook his head softly and then blushing violently sat up and smiled.

"I'm ok I do that a lot I am a very sick person I faint a lot." I became very worried and holding his hand asked if he'd be okay. Another large blush covered his face and I heard his breathing get more rapid.

"I don't think your okay. Here where is your room we will go in and I will make you some tea." He pointed to the door beside us and I opened it up slowly helping him into the room. I sat him on the bed. I turned to find the kitchen but instead found my wrist caught by him. "Is there something you would like?" He looked at me softly and whispered.

"Tea won't help just sit down and tell me what it is that has gotten you in this state and why you were running from that guy." I bowed my hand deep and slumped down on the bed. About an hour later he sat strewn across the bed and I still sat in my hunched position at the end of it. Tears filled my eyes as I came to the end of my tale. I felt the bed shift under me, and his hand land softly on my shoulder. "You shouldn't be so sad. There are other people out there for you. SO many people adore your voice and your looks I'm sure if they got to know you they would like you even more." I felt confused and I turned to him.

"I never told you I was a singer." Another blush covered his face and I pieced it together. "You're one of my fans aren't you?" His face burned red and I moved back. He lied to me.

"I didn't want to tell you. You needed to be consoled and if you knew I was a fan you wouldn't take me seriously. I thought I could listen better if you didn't know how devoted to you I was." I was overcome with emotion and pounced on him. My lips locked with his and I pressed him against the bed hard. My hands pressed against his chest and his fingers slipped behind my head. I slid my tongue into his mouth a whimper escaping his lips as I pressed against his erection. I pulled away slowly and whispered.

"No one has ever done that for me." I met him in another passionate kiss. My world was spinning and all thoughts of K vanished.

Hiro POV

He called him Klistelle… this is all so confusing why would he…

Everything vanished. I knew it I knew it so well it was right in front of my eyes.

He called me Roro Kun, He knew exactly what set me off, he looked exactly like him, and even better… he was the same age. Those blue smoldering eyes. That blond hair how could I not see it. K was short form for… Klistelle.

Just then K walked into the room and I could hardly contain myself. That was my Klistelle the one I had thought I had lost but I couldn't assume just yet. I needed proof. He looked tired and since I was now dressed I walked up and placed a finger under his chin lifting his face.

"What happened Klistelle did Ryuichi come back to you? Klistelle did you find him?" He looked at me sadly and shook his head. It was definite. He had answered to that name four times that night. "So it is you…?" He looked at me confused but then he looked sick.

"Oh… god… Hiro…" I turned around and looked out the window.

"Why did you lie to me?" Tears began to fill my eyes "Why did you make me think you were dead? Why did you do this to me Klistelle!? You made me fall in love with you all over again and this whole time I thought I was breaking our promise!" I could tell he was choking over this and I spun around. Tears sprinkled the carpet and I demanded his attention.

"Hiro… I… I… looked for you for years… I wanted you but when I found you, you had fallen in love with someone else. Can you blame me for not wanting you to know?" He looked as if he would cry to and I glared at him hard.

"You were the one I lost my virginity to. You were the one that helped me through everything but above all that, you were the one who died and left me all alone. I thought you had died?"

"I did Hiro… I did…" I stared at him confused and yelled.

"That doesn't make sense K! How could you have died?"

"In the hospital I was pronounced dead but a few minutes after the doctors left I regained consciousness. I fled from the hospital I was being chased by someone. I don't know who it was but I was scared." His eyes glittered and I could almost swear he was going to break down.

"Your real name is Klistelle that is what the K means… it means Klistelle." I looked at the carpet and made a fist.

"No! The K is NOT short form for Klistelle… my name is Kiorou, Klistelle was my brothers name." My eyes shot up. I was so confused.

"Klistelle… was your brothers name… why did you change it?" He looked at the floor hard and I could almost swear there was a tear trickling down his cheek.

"Everyone from my child hood knew me as a whore. I didn't realize it but… I was… I did anything they wanted…" He was gritting his teeth now and his eyebrows were knitted together. "I even delivered drugs for them… I cleaned their houses… slept over… and before I knew it I was expected to sleep with them!" His fist was pulled tightly together and a small trickle of blood dripped between his fingers. "That's when K-Klistelle saved me… I was almost… raped… once… he saved me. He beat the guy up and carried me half way home. He only got half way though… my boss shot him in the head!" There was now a stain of blood in my carpet and his head drooped low. I could barely contain my sobs. I-I was so selfish, this whole time I thought he was the bad guy… but he went through so much.

"What happened to your… boss?" He looked up at me now and I realized tears were streaking his face.

"I killed him… I got him back. I found him at his house with a bunch of prostitutes. I poured house cleaner in his drink… just enough to slowly eat at his bowel walls. I paid the prostitutes off. I pinned him to the chair with nails while he was passed out. When he woke up I sat in front of him and watched him scream. I wanted him to feel my pain… but I was a chicken shit. I couldn't stand the scent of his body being eaten away and I pulled his gun out of his pocket. The gun he had shot Klistelle with I put the bullet he had shot Klistelle with in it and I put the gun in his mouth… that was the last anyone heard from him." I starred in horror. My Klistelle-NO! My K had the type of mind to think that up? I felt my insides turn and I doubled over. I heard his gasp and I looked up. I saw it, right there I saw it. He was reliving it. I suddenly didn't find it horrible. I thought it was justified.

I felt electricity burn through my body and I could see it all, the crying boy over the teenager. The death of his boss, his parents… and… me… I was his light. I was his angel. I realized that me finding out what he did was his biggest fear. He didn't want me to shun him.

I also saw Klistelle. He had black hair, red eyes… he looked… just like… my angel. I stood straight and thought hard he didn't just look like him… he was him. I noticed K was kneeling on the ground. Blood and vomit surrounded him and he was shaking horribly, he was going into shock. He thought I hated him. I ran to him and using all my strength lifted him up. I through him on the bed and cleaning his shins of the mix, I shushed him quietly. I stroked his jaw and kissed his temple. He wasn't calming down and I found his arms around my waist his tears drenching my shirt.

"I was… so a-angry… I wanted… h-him… dead I d-d-didn't… think." I held him tight and stroked his hair.

"I know hun I know its ok I still love you. It's ok I love you so much. Don't worry. I'm here for you. I'm not leaving. I'll stay with you." He calmed down suddenly tears still streaked his face but he stopped shaking and he wasn't rambling anymore.

"You… do?" I looked down at him softly everything in me telling me this was right and wiping his mouth with the cloth I whispered.

"What was your promise K?"

"I would love you and you only. As long as I live I would never fall in love with anyone else."

"And have you kept that promise?"

"I… tried…"

"Then of course I love you… even if you broke the promise I would still love you…" His eyes shown brighter then I had ever seen them shine before and he smiled… a shaky smile but a smile none-the-less. I couldn't believe I had found my Klistelle again. I leaned down and laughing softly whispered.

"Aishiteru till death my Kiorou." Then with out a thought in my head I kissed him, softly and sweetly but I kissed him none-the-less. A refreshing kiss, something I hadn't had since I was a kid, my first time… in the library… that faithful day.

"_I have a secret… she's not my type." What the hell was that suppose to mean. Was I supposed to understand this language? Seriously sometimes I swear Klistelle talks in code. Well you know that obviously he's saying that he's gay. HAHA like that would ever happen. Not Klistelle he… oh my god… what am I thinking he couldn't… he wouldn't. But that look he's giving me. That smile, the one I can't hide from. The one that makes my heart thump and my breathing stop. He can't be saying but… the way he looks at me. How could I miss it Klistelle likes me? No, no it's not true he would never. I know I like him but… him like me? _

_I couldn't help what I was feeling that urge to taste him… so what did I do… I kissed him. He tasted incredible like chocolate or ice water on a hot day. I wanted to swallow him and he was allowing me to. I pulled away… I needed air eventually. I looked down and realized my books were on the floor… I had dropped my bag. I looked back and that shocked scared look pasted his lips. That look I was afraid to admit was there. He didn't like me… he really didn't like me. Maybe she was just not his type. He had millions of girls from the orphanage after him. Those daring looks, those sun glasses he always wears. He looks like such a bad boy who wouldn't like him? I realized I was biting my lip and had to say something so I yelled. _

"_I'm sorry… I shouldn't…" I saw that daring look of his reaper and he kissed me again. His fingers pressed to the back of my head. His tongue slipped between my lips and sent electricity through my body. I lost my balance and found myself on the ground underneath him. This was nothing like the kiss we had just broke… no it was… more. It was sensual and I finally realized that something was poking me in the thigh. He was poking me in the thigh. I was breathless and he pulled away whispering. _

"_I'm glad you feel the same." His smile was plastered back on his face but now, now his sunglasses were gone and I finally remembered why he wore the sunglasses. There was a large cut across his left eye and he hated it so… he wore sunglasses. I reached up at him and traced the scar. I didn't mind it just drew more attention to the beautiful eyes he had. Those beautiful blue eyes. He pulled away and stood up stretching his arm out he threw on his glasses and whispered._

"_We best get you to your room eh? We don't want you staying up past your bed time." He laughed louder then I had ever imagined and I figured he was hiding the embarrassment he had about his eye. I caught his hand and blushing stood up. I found myself against his chest and he laughed louder. "My, my, Hiro am I that irresistible?" He raised an eyebrow behind the dark sunglasses and I pushed him playfully. _

"_Why would you ever think you're irresistible?" We began to walk down the hall after I locked up and he chuckled while teasing me. _

"_Oh come on we all know I'm the best catch in this place, any girl would date me just watch."_ _He sauntered up to a girl in the hall. Absently brushing a lock of hair out of her face and laughing flirtatiously. After a few more moments she turned to him and slapped him hard screaming pervert. I smiled holding back my laughter as he walked back… but he was smiling. I gave him a questioning look and frowning asked._

"_What's up with you?" He held out a small paper and dropped into my hand. _

"_I told you I was irresistible…" Inside the small piece of paper was a dorm room number._

"_But… how, I thought…" He gave me that breath taking smile and whispered _

"_I know these girls ways, very well…" I stopped suddenly and starred at the paper. Wasn't I allowed to be upset? Wasn't I allowed to worry… that I was just another… sucker…_

**Review Responses**- MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!! Or what ever you celebrate. 

**Swtcandiee:** HAHAH wow you have a very odd way of thinking of my story. Tsk, Tsk you should be doing your homework. AHAHAHA yeah if it were any other day I would probably be writing instead of doing my homework so I'm no better. I don't really know how to answer your Q's it will al make sense soon. Well g2g talk to ya soon. P.S. your not slow this is a complicated story even for me.

**Guren:** Ohhhhhh thank you for the compliment J kun your soooooo cute. I will promise to keep you in suspense until the end of the story. Anyway I hope I can talk to you soon lol. Nights (kisses).

**Sesaru: **(shifty eyes) what will I do with your body? Hmmmmmm so many possibilities… mmmm (drools) and if you come back to life you can witness these "possibilities" how would you like that? I will most definitely bury your pen with you…that is if you don't come back to life. HAHA see ya hun. Lol.

**BRAM: **HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA be huffy my minion be huffy lol. Well please read again luv lol nights and thanx for the compliment. See ya!

**LittleMissYaoi:** But… but… ok you can call me that…(pouts) No thanx needed it was my pleasure. Stranger? What stranger you know who he is now lol. Hahahahah you sound so much like the back of a romance novel. Anyway see ya soon. Nights. Sorry for being such a bad author lol.

**Yumi Ishida the dream ang:** They didn't have ACTUAL sex just a lil fun lol. AHAHAH screamin eh? Lol lol yes that does leave them to but how do you know I'm not through playin with them. Lol see ya. (Rubs head) ouch that hurt (pouts

**ScarletteAdmirer:** hahahahaahh you're going to draw me a pic? Lol oh oh send it to me sweet I would love to see it hun. Your so sweet… so… you're my biggest fan. I bet you never read my Fruits basket fic huh huh? Lol anyway g2g see ya hun

**K-Bob:** hahahahah I heard lol. No no I don't think you ever have lol. Don't apologize no worries here lol. Awwww dun worry I have a pretty bad comp myself. Aww thanx for the compliment. Hahahah appreciate it? You better dam well praise it lol jokes jokes. See ya.

**alonelyshadow:** Everything will eventually come out in the open just give it time hun. Nites.

**Dark-Dreams-69:** definatly nice. Well I thought she deserved some popularity lol. Oh plus Ryuichi is sooooo hot. Well didn't you just figure out who that guy was lol. Ohhhh hopefully you won't die before then lol. See ya.

**Kerith Verlaque Easdon:** Well you help me with inspiration hun lol ohhh yeah lol. Anyway I g2g see ya sometime lol. You're always feeling hot hot hot lol it's just a matter of time lol. See ya nights.

A/N: See ya...MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!


	13. Crying Angel's Soul

**Disclaimer:** Come on guys if I were the writer don't you think I would be drawing Yaoi yummyness right now lol.

**B/N:** Yo! Sandy asked me to leave a little note for you all so here goes. She was in a bit of a rush so she's not putting in an A/N. Anyway I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Peace Out!

**A/N:** hahaahahah well I WAS in a rush but now that I have nothing to do for a whole day because my internet screwed up last night I decided to put one in. I really appreciate Jennie doing this for me every time I write a chappy I think totally about her and you guys I try my hardest to keep you guys entertained. I am very sad to say that my fic is coming to an end soon, not very soon but soon enough. Oh! I think the worse part of that is not being able to hear from you guys but I am going to write another fic not sure the pairing yet though. Anyway I am going to stop talking before I begin to cry lol I love you all!

**I DEDICATE THIS TO ALL OF YOU WHO SUPPORT ME! MERRY CHRISTMAS HAPPY NEWYEAR! **

Gravitation

**Disease of the mind**

_Crying Angel's soul _

_I guess he could sense my mood change and he slipped his arm around my neck. _

"_Hey you! No getting upset this is your happy day you're not aloud to be upset." I pulled away from him and whispered. _

"_What you just said…Am I just like them…are you playing me?" His lips slowly turned down and he looked toward me softly. Then looked at the wall. I knew it I was just another sucker _

"These girls…there air heads. If they openly said meet me in my dorm room, they would be considered slut's…so they make a big show of it. They do it in secret. I don't think any of these girls are sluts. They just judge to fast, if one of their friends sleeps with an upper classman they shun them. I would never want to be shunned so I can see why they hide it. I will go to her room. I wont do anything…I'll just…talk. The girls at this place need someone to talk to. I will explain my reasons to her eventually." I took a long hard look at him and starring at the ground asked.

"_And what is that reason?" He took a deep breath and laughed. _

"_I seem to have fallen in love with this little nerd and I was trying to show off to him, I am dreadfully sorry I pulled you into this. It may earn me an actual slap…but I don't mind I deserve it." I looked up at him and he had a tiny blush gracing those wonderful cheeks. We arrived at my door a short time later and I looked up at him and gave him a small smile. _

"_You said…down there that…you had fallen in love with…someone…was that…me?" He laughed hard and placed his hand on the doorframe. _

"_Who else is as big a nerd as you?" He laughed harder at this and could barely stand up. "You crack me up Roro-kun." I blushed and starred at the floor leaning beside his hand. _

"_No…one…I guess…" He stopped laughing and standing in front of me lifted my head up. Those black glasses reflecting my sadness. I wished so hard to see his eyes. As if in answer to my deepest wish, he pulled off his glasses. Brilliant blue eyes starred at me._

_Nothing was as beautiful as those eyes. They sparkled with navy, and violet, Shades of purple, pools of royal blue. My hunger to hold him was eating away at my heart. He let that soft yet daring smile slip onto his face and he whispered. _

"_Your special to me. I love you, and no one else holds my heart like you do." I blushed as he brushed my hair to the side of my face and kissed me hard, pressing me against the wall. His fingers yet again at the back of my head and I moved into my room. I pushed the door closed using my body as I felt his fingers slide to the rim of the bottom of my shirt and I suddenly felt him pull away. I looked at him as he licked his lips gently. _

"_I want you to know I'm not going to hurt you Hiro. I love you, if you don't wish to go this far I will understand…" I could tell he was fighting with something deep inside and I wanted to make those bright blue eyes smile again. _

_I pushed off the door and we both landed on the bed. We were locked in a kiss that wasn't ending even though he had gotten the air knocked out of him from the fall…from me falling on him. He still kissed me hard and passionately. Tantalizing my every image of anything, it was us. _

Why was I remembering this so vividly? Why did I feel as if that was actually happening? I came back to reality, my legs straddling K's, my lips lapping hungrily at his. This brought me back to the old days when I…had someone. I feel his fingers slip under my shirt and electricity flashes up my bones. There's a loud gunshot and I sit up quickly with K following.

His sweat slicked chest heaving against mine as I settle down on his lap. We stair out the window and suddenly a creeping feeling slides up my spine. I turn my head to the part of the bed closest to where K's head was and my heart stopped. I can't breath and K begins to shake me.

"Hiro! Hiro! What's wrong, Oh my god Hiro, breathe! Please breath!" Tears begin to fill my eyes and he thinks to look back. He stop's shaking me and suddenly he holds me, he holds me tight and comforts me.

"W-who would do this…" I feel his body heat surround me and know at that instant that his instinct to protect what we have is flaring.

"I don't know Hiro…I do…" He trails off after this and I look into his eyes, He's scared for once… He's scared.

"You two shouldn't be…you two were never meant to be! I will see that you two are separated even if that means…Killing you the way I killed Hiro's parents." I'm shaking and crying and I jump off K.

"K why are you saying that?!" His finger points behind me, and he whispers.

"I'm not…" I look behind me and on the bedroom mirror in blood is written what he just said. I drop to the floor and begin to shake harder.

"He…was in here…someone…was in here…just now…watching us…someone…"

"Who wants me dead." I turn around and find K staring at the hole in the bed. "That was right beside my head…it was a warning…who ever this is…killed your parents…and most likely will kill me…" My eyes widen and I scream holding my stomach from the rising vomit. I feel the floor shift and I look up at K. "Stop that Hiro…if you don't…I might not be able to help." I try to stand and feel him lift me.

"K?" His body is shaking and sweating from our recent activity's slides down him but he sounds so calm.

"Who ever this is…is the cause of all…your pain. I will hunt him down and make him pay." His fingers go to just under my chin and he lifts my gaze.

"Hiro?" I swallow hard and whisper huskily.

"Yes…" His lips press gently against mine and he looks hard at me.

"Are you ready to finish this…to find out what happened…so many years ago?" He looks so brave I almost cuddle closer to him but instead I whisper.

"I'm more ready then I will ever be." I feel him pull away and I am cold again. I look around the room and follow him out.

We are in my car but he is driving. I cannot drive if I did I would probably kill us. I look out the window and we come to a stop at the side of a road. I get out and we both stand quietly. I watch as he leans down and whispers.

"It's what I feared…" I look at him and he meets my gaze heatedly. "In order to dig into your past we…have to dig into mine…" He stands up and in front of him is a pair of footprints. They look almost fresh. They're deep yet shallow…what does he mean dig into his past. I lean down and stroke the earth. Electricity burns my fingertips and I almost go flying backwards. I bump into K's legs and stare where I just touched.

"K…what was that?" He leans down close to my ear and whispers.

"I don't know but something is telling me that it has something to do with this." I feel his arm brush mine, and appearing in front of my face is a feather.

"Where did you get that?" My eyes are drawn to it. It was a pure white feather with a pastel purple tip to it.

"They show up here every five years, each time bringing with them something new. When you got into the accident you were five-ish right? Five years after you were born this feather appeared on the scene of the accident. Five years after that when you were around the age of ten another feather appeared leaving with it a locket…"

I watched him as he walked toward me and dropped the locket in my lap. I picked it up and looked softly at it. Tears formed in my eyes as I held it but I didn't know why. I looked at it with the utmost respect. It was a silver heart on a chain. It had the design of a flower and ribbon on it, the bottom of the heart had a tint of red to it and the chain was a woven silver vine. Tears began to drizzle down my cheeks. I sniffled gently and looking into his eyes I whispered.

"And three years ago…when I turned 15… what did it bring that time." His eyes drifted to the ground and stepping toward me he pulled out a feather, same length as the one I had except this one was black. Red blood dripped from the tip and flooded the ground. I watched in enchantment as he spoke.

"This is what it brought three year's ago…they call it the crying angels soul. It represents the tortured part of an angel's soul left behind when they enter heaven. Some say there is an angel out there that collects them and weaves his own wings with them hoping to be allowed into heaven but each time he tries to fly through the gates he is repelled back, shredding his wings. Some say it's the wings sin and malice that keeps him out, some think he is just to evil and full of hate to be let in."

"And what do you think K?" My eyes are connected painfully with his.

"I…think…I don't know anything about him…but…from what I've gathered…" His eyes take on a glazed over look and he frowns a bit. "I think he's after you…I think he wants you and who ever is leaving these hints wants to help…" I look to the ground and I get a bright image of the man from my dreams who cradled me during the accident. He had wings… Long large wings, they were white with pastel purple tips.

My head begins to pound images of my mother and father. There bodies being thrown around blood splattering the seats as they are impaled by to large spikes protruding from the ground. My body becomes warm and I am on the ground lying half-asleep. He stands above me.

What could this mean all these thoughts and images are surfacing to the top of my head. The headache begins to pound and I find that there is blood dripping from my ears. Tears are blinding my vision and I curl up tight pulling at my hair.

"Stop it…STOP IT! Stop this…oh…god stop the…images." They pound harder filling my ears with a buzzing, no not a buzzing whispering. They were whispering to me and I can't stop them. Who? I don't know but they are whispering and I know that.

Stop killing yourself 

_Warm yourself in the blood _

_Hungry are we? _

"STOP IT!" I shout this loud enough to bust my eardrums. Then a cool feeling washes over and I stop to listen hard.

I still love you 

_We wont let this get you _

_Just believe in us and we will fight _

_By your side we were born to be _

To serve our prince

**Review Responses**

**Sesaru:** oh you know your perverted my lil one (duck's from your fist) completely faithful (raises eyebrow) there is another author isn't there?! Yes you do have your pen don't you lol. Oh wouldn't you like to know the possibility lol such sweet torture this is. Hahahaha no I would not like a piece of the rabbit you just killed…I would like a piece of you…raises eyebrow pervertedly thanx I think it was good to lol.

**Raven:** hahahahaahahahhh the death was the bomb yo and no this isn't the end sweet. All questions will be answered. Hahahahah thank you eet I am actually going to write another story lol.

**LittleMissYaoi:** awww thankyou luv that's sweet of you to say. No he isn't a sucker hahaah she's not that much of a slut I think your just jealous. Must you call me that bye bye sweet. Nights.

**ScarletteAdmirer:** Aww you are so cute I could just eat you up. Awwwww you do lol well it's sweet to be loved but don't get to attached I am takin at the moment lol. I don't think my bf would like that very much lol. Awwwwwww your reading it go you thank you so much sweet luv ya nights. Byes

**Ryuichi Sakuma:** awwwwwww your so cute yes you were right luv yes yes you can call me that luv I dun mind do I have someone who has a school girl crush on me? slash? Well if by slash you are referring to the lingo they use in fanfiction that mean boy x boy love. See ya sweet.

**Dark-Dreams-69:** hahahahahahh well I thought everyone would think it was him. Hahaha yes you do lol. See ya.

**Guren:** Awwww I get kisses (blushes) to sweet lol. Wow I impressed you I am so touched lol. Nights.

**Kerith Verlaque Easdon:** I'll finish it soon I promise luv I am just doing a lot right now sweet. You are not distracting me lol. I am perfectly on task. See ya! (tilts head up) chin up luv.

No A/N today

Se ya

**A.T.D**


	14. Battle's begin with love

**Disclaimer:** Hey man I don't own anything I steal everything I own lol jokes jokes don't get mad at me lol it was a joke lol

**A/N:** Yeah Im soooooooooooooooooooooooooo sorry for taking so long to update I was so busy and my mom has the norwalk virus and Iv been taking care of her and its been busy and Im sooooooo sorry. Yeah this chappy was inspired by die another day 007 hahah so there's lotsa fighting lol. anyway Im in a rush so here you go.

Gravitation

**Disease of the mind **

_Battle's begins with love _

_Do you remember that little boy you use to see sitting in the sand box, playing with his shovel and bucket. That little kid you use to envy. You use to pass him in junior high walking home during lunches all by himself. You use to yell at him when you passed through the courtyard during your spare. You would ask him to pick up your homework you just dropped and he would pass it to you. You were so comfortable knowing he was sitting right there because if you ever made a mistake he wouldn't laugh. He couldn't hear you because his headphones were to loud playing his high quality classical music. He would tap away at his paper as he drew tree's and bushes he saw every day. He never talked to anyone, he never did anything other than that. You often wished at times you were him because he didn't have to deal with popularity or friend problems. You wished you could be him, there with so much before him. _

_You never thought…he was hurting…_

_He would sit there and watch you laughing with your friends and hope and dream you would walk over and ask him to join. _

_I wished that often…I was that kid horribly, horribly caught up in plans as I drew on my text books. I would plan each slice perfectly. I would plan the head splitting pain that would course through my veins. I would plan the untimely death of this sad teenager. But you would never know that, you would just watch look on and wish you could be me. _

_I bet you wouldn't want to if you could see the cuts that lay underneath my long sleeves. I bet you would cry if you saw the beating and thrashing that was brought on me when I would stop for a second going home to pick up your homework. The beating my father would go through with. I bet you would kill yourself if you saw my drawings. The drawing's I work on everyday, of you, of your smiling face and then…of me…watching. You never figured I would harbor such pain. You just saw my smug features and figured I was better. _

_I wasn't, now do you see I loved you, I wanted you for so long but if anyone new I would be caged and beaten even more. I thought I was even more of a freak when I realized this…realized you were whom I loved. It couldn't have gotten any better, to throw me into a family that hated me and then to throw me into a category of fag's, of Homo's, of gays. They wanted me dead when they found out I had another difference and that's when I let go. That's when I gave up. Are you happy that you were there._

My throbbing head pounded. K's words seared my brain. The worse of it was he was right there.

"K shut up! I'm sorry just shut up!!" I feel him step back and he whispers.

"But Roro…Kun I didn't say anything…" I stair at him blankly and realize…he hadn't said anything.

"K…I…" I realize that I had been thinking this the whole time. "you were just thinking about me weren't you? Weren't you K?!" His face gets a great deal paler and he stairs into my eyes.

"What?" I give him an impatient look and whisper to myself.

"I…could hear you…you were talking about back in the day…about seeing me…in the courtyard…" I see him go a sheet white color and I become sick. "How did I hear it?" I'm confused beyond all recognition.

"Roro…kun how did you?" I look up at him and he kneels down in front of me. His smooth hand slides across my cheek and he gently kisses my lips. "Never mind, it doesn't matter. Lets just get out of here while you're still alive, you scared me just now, come on." He slowly gets up and extends a hand to me. "We will go to the hospital, get you checked out and then we will go to the police department and check out some stuff ok?" I can tell he wont take no for an answer so I grab his hand and let him walk me to the door of my car. I slip in the passenger's seat and he hands me a cloth.

"What's this for?" I feel his eyes settle on my lap and I look down.

"Its to hold A.C.S. it will never stop bleeding so you have to hold stuff underneath it to keep the blood from staining your clothes." I look down to the feather and begin to tear up. Why does this story pain me so much to hear? Why does it feel like I have already heard that story.

There is a silence in the car until I hear a large crash and the car screeches to a halt. I look out the window and in front of us is a six-car pileup. Blood is drowning the cement. More blood then possible for the amount of people probably involved. I grab the handle and jump out of the car. My feet splash into a puddle of blood and it spray's across my pants. I stand watching as flames leap up into the air.

Suddenly I feel a hand on my shoulder and I am thrown. I hit a wall hard and groggily stand up. Someone is standing above me. Large black wings extend out his back and he wears a black trench coat. That's all I can pick out in the dim light and suddenly his fingers are wrapped around my throat. He is lifting me into the air. My back scrapes against the wall as sweat drips down my jaw. I grasp his hand and try to pull his hand away but instead he holds tighter.

I look into red pools of hatred and his fist connects with my face. I spit out blood and look back at him his eyes are burning now and he begins to speak.

"Those eyes the same sympathy your mother felt for me…I hated it." My heart begins to pound and I clench my teeth. "That whore only ever felt that for me…sympathy…and she thought I was jealous of you…ha that's funny…jealous of an orphan." Tears build up in my eyes and clenching my teeth I struggle harder. His eyes light up again and he begins to laugh. "Though…you weren't…an orphan back then…I had to fix that and I did." My insides begin to burn and I rip his hand away from my throat. I fall a few feet but land perfectly on my feet.

"What!?" I'm seething now and I wipe blood savagely away from my mouth.

"You heard me…aha watching your parents slowly burn was such sweet sorrow. I loved the look of pure mortification on your father's face but I wasn't quite happy with the one your mother held. Stupid bitch always knew what was coming to her, I hated it. Then again I hated a lot about her I guess that's why I needed her so bad." My heart was being crushed slowly and I screamed loudly.

"STOP SAYING THAT!! My mother was none of the things you called her. She was beautiful and caring, honest and sweet. Don't talk that way of her." I didn't know where this was coming from but I sure as hell meant it.

"How would you know? You never knew your mother I killed her when you were to young." I felt a heat wash over me, warmth I knew well and suddenly I felt energized. Someone was there, I heard a voice but I couldn't put a face to it and apparently he could hear it to.

"He knows because I told him. I have been telling him his whole life and I will continue to. Luke you try to hard and I will put an end to it soon. I told you to leave Hiro alone, when I handed over what you wanted you promised. Don't go back on that! Or your worse then I thought" The man clenches his fist and stepping toward me starts speaking again.

"Yes…I remember that day…the day you gave me this body…to collect my feathers." I look now toward his wings and realize why there is so much blood. His wings are bleeding profusely. I hold myself as if a cold washes over me and then I let go as warmth washes over me again. I feel the voice as if its right beside my ear and it whisper's.

"Don't give into what he is saying. I need you to hold on, your day will come soon don't worry. What they whisper to you is wrong. You're only the prince if you give up this fight." I feel lips on my cheek and I turn to see who is there but instead a bright light flashes in my eyes. I feel pain in my abdomen and I am pulled back. Four claws are in my stomach. I pull them out and gasp loudly as a string of blood follows them. I look up into bloodthirsty eyes and I feel something wash over me again. I throw my arm back and take a heavy fist to his face, he falls back a few feet and looks at me amazed. The shade covering his face giving way to light for a second. I see a flash of something familiar but I shake it off as he tackles me.

Grabbing me by the hair He flips me around. I land against the door of one of the cars, it sears the back of my shirt and the material falls to the cement. I fall chest first into a pool of blood and the wind comes back to me. I push myself up as if nothing happened. Sweat and blood drips down my abdomen collecting at my navel. The tattered bit of shirt that stayed on drifts to the ground. I watch as it makes a ripple in the blood and my heart hardens.

I take a step forward my blood drenched jeans sticking to me. I slip my fingers through my hair and look up at him slowly. I still can't make out his face but I know he is smiling. My mucsles tense and a shower of blood gets thrown off my body. I smile menacingly to my fist then I whisper.

"You want a prince?…Do you! Then I'll give you one…" I jump forward my hand thrown forward and I plunge my hand to my elbow through his stomach. I hear a sharp intake of breath and I smile. I wait for his body to fall but he stays up. I look up slowly and before I can make eye contact I feel something slice up my spine. I grimace as I fall to my knees before I hit the ground his knee goes painfully into my stomach.

"Some prince you make." His words are mocking and I suck in air as my body hits the ground hard. I look up slowly as he walks toward me. "I can't see why they want you…they should want me…not wanted in heaven…shunned in hell…chained to earth. That is my life story…while you…just like your mother always said SPECIAL!!" with that me slams his booted foot into my ribs. I hear a loud wet snapping and scream out in pain.

"KLISTELLE!!!" I begin to whimper as he grinds his foot harder down.

"He's not coming Nakano…" My breath begins to get raspy as I try to pull his foot off me. I hear another loud snap and howl in agony. I feel the weight of him suddenly taken off me as I hear someone yell.

"Think again!" I open my eyes agonizingly slow and find K above me.

"K…" My words are caught in my throat and I stare up at him adoringly.

"How dare you touch my Roro-kun and even worse then that you called him Nakano. Don't you know he hates that?" He holds his favorite gun out in front of him, probably showing off but then I realize…the man at my feet is clutching his left wing. He shot him! I hear K's feet crunch down on the soil as he leans down toward me. "You ok?" I hear that gentleness in his voice and I smile sweetly. I see a shadow above him and suddenly he is out of my sight. I sit up painfully and look behind me. K's left arm holding half his body up the other elbow pushing him up. The man is catching up quick to him as I see something metal flash in the fire light. A strange electricity fills my body and I take off toward him. I grab him around his stomach and push him to the ground.

I stand up quickly and grabbing a bumper of a car I lift it up and slam it into his side. Anger takes me over and I run to his scrambling body. I lift him up over my head and throw him into the heap of cars. I run toward them and throwing the cars out of my way like pushing a bush out of my walking space I find him and slam him into a car door. I pick him up again and throw him back onto the blood drenched road. He begins to struggle to stand but I grab an antenna from a car and spear it through his wing. He screams out in pain and I realize his weakness.

"What's the matter Luke…sensitive wings?" I begin to walk toward him when I notice K's horrified look. I stop and watch to where he's looking. K is staring fixated on Luke. I see him begin to get up and he walks a bit closer to Luke. He stop's mere feet from Luke and I go to stop him when I hear him whisper.

"Klistelle…?" My heart stop's as I hear a soft laughter and Luke whisper back.

"I thought you would never realize…"

**A/N:** yeah good chappy eh? lol I am proud of my work. Cliffhanger yo. Look Im really busy Im sorry this couldn't have been more you know longer sorry sorry bye bye's


	15. Wings

**Disclaimer:** nope nope nooooooo ownership, but once I rule the world I will do the writer a favor and spare his life so he can continue more…

**A/N: **OHHH I am sooooo sorry this chappy took so long to update I had it ready for Friday but someone told me I couldn't update so I just held it back a few days lol. I hope I can download this tonight lol. I am really sorry my chappy's have been so bad lately I have been very rushed I have exams, and my mother was sick and my father and my lil sis. So I had to take care of all them. I hope you like this, this is sorta my clen up chapter it is meant to clean up all the mysteries and the bad confusing chappy I had last time. Anyway on to the chappy…

**B/N: **Yo!I don't know about you lot but I really love this story. It's confusing at times but I really like it. I hope you do to. I hope this isn't the last chapter. Peace Out!

**I DEDICATE THIS CHAPPY TO GUREN! PLEASE GET BETTER LUV! ALWAYS KEEP YOURCHINHELD HIGH!! **

Gravitation  
**Disease of the mind **

_Wings _

That gentleness in Luke's voice scares me and I take a step forward. I can barely see the trickle of tears falling down K's face and I take another step.

"But how…you…died…I held you…" I see Luke's clawed hand cradle K's face and I scream out to K. I begin to run but before I can get to him I see Luke tackled to the ground. I stop and watch in amazement as a bright winged creature stands above Luke's fallen body. His chest heaves up and down but I can not make out the face. He wears a hood over his head hiding his face. The hood looks like its woven of pure white silk. His wings span out beautifully the pastel purple tips shining softly.

"You are NOT! Klistelle…do not lie to him…I made you whom you are!" The silvery man steps back and begins to whisper faintly. "Your reality of taking care of K and nursing him back to health is not YOURS!!! It's…it's…" He slumps his shoulders and I watch in horror as Luke grab's his claws and throw's them through the silvery man.

"I am Klistelle…I look like him I sound like him I AM Klistelle!" I watch as the silvery man clutch's the claw in his hands, red blood dripping down Luke's presently bare arm.

"Y-you…are…not…" The silvery man takes another step back and falls to the ground. I begin to rush over to him but I am stopped by something. I begin to cry as the silvery man starts to clutch the ground, Luke walking toward him. I came to the assumption long ago that the silvery man was none other than the man in my memories. The man who saved me as a child… the man who whispered calming things to me after my parent's death and the one who has continued to my whole life. He is dying now and I am helpless I can not save him the way he saved me.

"I am Klistelle and no one can tell me different." The arrogance in his voice almost sickens me and I shoot him a heated glare. I feel a hand on my shoulder and turn around to find K. He had some how unknown to anyone gotten from Luke to me. I stare into his blue oceans and see the sorrow being tied down. I hear the sound of thunder and suddenly we are being pelted with rain. I see his eyes glaze over and before I know it his lips are pressed roughly against mine. I wrap my arms around him and suddenly a crash of memories flood through my head.

"_He will not be controlled by just pretending he is not part of you and me."_

"_Maybe he can, you know some sort of boys school for half breeds" _

"_Ha yeah, a school for Angels/Vamporian's." _

"_What you never know…this day and age, stop laughing at me." _

"_Oh what are you going to do if I don't stop…?" _

"_I'll…umm…well…tickle you…" _

"_I'd like to see you try." _

"_Is he still asleep back there?" _

"_Yeah from what I can see but…you know baby's well…half breed baby's, always playing trick's" _

"_Well check" _

"_Roro-kun…are you awake…don't make me tickle those feet of yours. Aha I knew it you can't resist laughing when I tickle your feet." _

"_He's gonna hate you when he grows up…if you keep on pulling out his feather's to tickle him." _

"_I know you say that every day but…it's the only way to tickle him completely." _

"_Completely? Riana I would really like to know how you tickle someone completely ha-ha!" _

"_It's…just give me a few hours and I'll explain ha-ha!" _

"_I suddenly remember why I fell in love with you…"_

"_Oh and why was that?" _

"_Your intelligence ha-ha! Oh…man Hiro I gotta teach you that joke." _

"_You teach him that joke and He'll never have a Girlfriend." _

"_You just watch, my little boy's gonna grow up to be quite the lady's man."_

"_Sure he will just as long as he doesn't take after you." _

"_Ha-ha very fun- holy shit Riana look…" _

"_Who…who is that?" _

"_I don't know but he better get off the road!" _

"_Roku?! AHHH!!" _

I saw it…my parents…in the car…before…before…

We broke away from the kiss and I stared into his eyes. He had seen it to.

"K…it…it…was Yuki…" I saw the puzzled look on his face and I yelled "It was Yuki! On the road…he caused the accident! He jumped out in front of my car! He killed my parents!" I felt his arms circle around me and finally the voices filtered through my ears.

"STOP HUMORING YOURSELF!!! If you really were Klistelle you wouldn't be trying to hurt K" I heard a choked gasp and then Luke whisper.

"I'm not I'm trying to hurt Hiro…" I turned around and starred at the scene; both Luke and the silvery man were in the air. There fist were raised in the fighting stance and I could almost feel the electricity burning through the atmosphere.

"But can't you see? By hurting Hiro you are hurting K…K loves Hiro, something you could never get…love he loves him!" Luke snickered and turning his back on the silvery man he mumbled.

"I was loved…one day…by the women I still love…" The silvery man lifted his shoulders allowing his wings to collect a large gust of wind.

"She never loved you Luke…Nakano San never loved you…she cared for you yes…but she didn't love you…she loved Roku and Hiro, her husband and son NOT you!" A large fireball shot across the sky hitting the silvery man. A large amount of smoke collected around him and as it cleared the silvery man started to talk. "Nice try…" Suddenly Luke's sword sliced through the silvery man and as his body pushed further into it Luke slid the sword out. The silvery man started to fall faster and faster out of the sky. I couldn't hold my self back anymore and running through the barrier that had held me back before I caught the silvery man's body. He slumped into my arms and I lowered him to the ground. These burst of strength were scaring me… since when have I been so strong.

I placed onto the now soaked cement and his head rolled to the side. I pushed his hood back and what I saw amazed me. It wasn't the man who had saved me when I was a child but he was still just as beautiful. His hair was metallic silver. It spiked out all over the place, his lips were a rosy pink color with a silver stud on his right side, and he had a chiselled jaw and well rounded cheek bones. His eyebrows were perfectly shaped a raven black color and his ears had four earrings in them, three in the left, and one in the right. Two on the left were silver and blue hoop's the other was a silver arrow. On the right was a solid heart curving around his lobe making it look as if his ear was breaking through it.

He wrinkled his nose and coughed softly. I held his head up and wiped away the raindrops, his lips parted slowly and he unsteadily opened his eyes. I almost dropped him at how startled I was. His eyes were a burning gold; his silver hair also emphasized them. He stared up at me respectfully and groaning painfully he sat up.

"I mustn't sit around, that, mind my French, Bastard! Needs to be taught a lesson. Can you believe him? Hurting you and Kiorou like that." I stared in aww as he uttered K's given name.

"What did you call K?" He looked at me almost alarmed and mumbled

"I need to go beat him up I'll answer all your questions after." He stood up and flying up to Luke he punched him hard in the jaw. As the silvery man pulled his arm back again, Luke grabbed it and through him against a near by tree. I was getting increasingly angry by this fight and my blood began to boil, every other second electricity washed through my body pumping loudly to my heart. The silvery man grabbed Luke's cape and through him to the cement. His breast plate smashed into pieces as the cement crumbled underneath him. His sword clanged a few feet away and his cape caught on a piece of torn up cement, tearing it off him. He finally looked a little more like a human. Other than the wings and the claw's protruding out his clenched fist he wore a pair of ripped jeans and a black wife beater. His red eyes were thirsting for revenge; he was made a fool of in front of his enemy.

"You fucking bastard! I'll show you just how much of a mistake you made." Turning to me he met my eyes and throwing his arm back he threw four claws in my direction. I was so astonished I couldn't move and that's when… K rushed in. He jumped in front of me and holding me behind him four claws dug into his abdomen. I watched, my heart breaking as he slipped down my body fell to the cement.

I heard a loud scream and suddenly there was an immense heat. I looked up tears blinding me as the silvery man ran at Luke.

"You ASSHOLE!!! What have you done… I'll kill you!!" A loud rush of wind almost blew me back. Luke and the silvery man met in a burst of power. The silvery man had taken on a large glow and now had a sword. Its blade was white. It shown with elegance and burned the eyes with its beauty. There swords clashed and with each beat sparks would fly out. I heard a soft cough and turned my attention to K.

"H-Hiro… please save him… protect him…" I couldn't stand to see him like this…none the less I needed to lie to him. I couldn't protect Luke no matter how much he swore he was Klistelle.

"K… don't worry he'll be okay…" I brushed a bit of his hair to the side of his face and smiling gently heard him choke out.

"S-save him…and…k-k-kill Klistelle…take this…" He handed me something and it landed heavily in my hand. I opened up my palm and inside lay the tiny locket on a chain K had given me. The one that used to be my mothers.

I was suddenly back in my dream with my mother.

_She smelled of jasmine she always had. I smiled watching her twirl a small baby then she looked happily at me and began to sing. _

"_Hush little baby don't say a word _

_Mama's gonna by you a mocking bird _

_And if that mocking bird don't sing _

_Mama's gonna find you a new song to sing_

_Baby you know who did it you do just think back I know you know. Hiro my little baby boy the secret's in your heart, my heart."_

I finally get it… everything that these visions have been telling me.

I run back to the car flinging the door open I grab all the clues. The feather when I was five… the locket when I was ten and the Crying Angels Soul when I turned 15. I thought as hard as I could to figure at what this was about and as I heard the battle progress on I lifted the locket.

"In my heart, in hers…" I opened the small locket and in it was a small picture of me my mother and my father… we look so happy and on the other side is an inscription.

_Blood of three spins the clock in reverse…_

I hear a loud crash and turn around to find the silvery man lying in a pile of rubble, Luke standing over him struggling for breath. I tackle Luke to the ground and for a split second he is knocked out. I run to the silvery man and place my hand on his head.

"Do not worry for me Hiroshi… save yourself. Grab K and run." I look behind me at the body of K and whisper.

"I can't do that… K's… K's…" Tears begin to fill my eyes and I force them back. I feel the silvery mans hand rest against my cheek and I hold it. His blood dripping down my hands slowly.

"Go…" I begin to protest when he throw's me to the side and Luke's sword dives into his chest. I scream in agony as the silvery mans eyes close along with a choking sound. I stand up quickly and switching the locket to my other hand I pick up the silvery mans sword. The locket almost slips because of the mess of mine and the silvery mans blood. I charge at Luke and thrust the sword through his right wing. His pitiful whimper reaches my ear and I twist the sword.

"Is this what you wanted? HUH! Is it?" My body shakes as his blood slides down the blade over my hand. I feel his wing jerk and I'm sent flying, I almost loose the locket but drop the sword and grab it with my other hand. Warmth spills into my veins filling my soul with a thousand whispers. I feel electricity funnel through my finger tips and I arch my back. I close my eyes and when I open them I am staring into Luke's amazed eyes. I feel refreshed and oddly lighter. I look to the ground at my feet and find I am covered in blood. A puddle of it leaking from my back… that's odd… I don't remember getting a wound on my back.

I step forward and feel a gust of wind follow me. I look back and almost faint from the site. Leading behind me are two of the most beautiful red and white jewel's I have ever seen.

**A/N:** It had some to my attention that some people think that my story is coming to an end and I will just leave you with this HUGE! Cliffhanger. I plan on clearing everything up by the end of the story so no worries. Just so you know I have at least three chapters left in me so no worries ok? Well I need to be going…oh and by the way I plan on going out in a big bang! So you will know when the story is finally finished. Hehehe see ya. ttyl.

**A.T.D**

**Review Responses **

**Bram: **Awww your mad at me. I'm going to go cry (sniffle) hehehehe you know I still love you lol. I hope this chappy, cleared things up for you. Don't worry its ok you don't have to cry I'm sure you will be happy with the outcome ttyl.

**Ryuichi Sakuma:** awwwwww I know I know another cliffhanger but you will just have to learn that's what I'm all about, cliffhangers I'm sorry and might I add Ryuichi you are very adorable. Don't be concerned everything will get better. Ohhh please don't hit me with that, I won't be able to write if you do. ttyl.

**Kerith Verlaque Easdon:** heheehhe everyone was confused lol. I read your WHOLE story so far and I must say UPDATE! Or I will stop writing lol. I sent one of my close friends your way to read the story. I actually never found out what she thought. I should ask her. Any way I g2g ttyl.

**ScarlettAdmirer: **you…y-you (sniffle) hate m-me…I sad. Yeah I know its confusing lol THAT WAS MY PLAN!! Lol. Don't die I wrote more see! see its more lol. Yes he is a defending man. Awwww don't cry I don't like it when my reviewers cry. Here is the next chappy don't worry luv ttyl.

**LittleMissYaoi: **welllllll… ... maybe, maybe not lol. HAHAHAHA yes you did think that and maybe he did lol. Heheehehehehe why wouldn't he want to kill him lol? Hahah don't you just love my responses lol they make so much sense. Thank you I didn't think the chappy was that great. ttyl

**Guren:** Is there such a thing as to good lol hahahaahh I am the most awesome writer!!!! Hahaha go me ohhhh yeah lol naw jokes, jokes. Naw she's all good now so don't worry though today I got sick out of no where and almost fainted. My friend caught me lol. I'm ok now lol. Thank you for the thought though about my mother that is. ttyl.


	16. Crimson Tear's

A/N: I'm so sorry this chappy will be so short and I am really sorry that Ican't put a review response in it. I apolagize for the long wait and just hope I havn't lost you all. I am going to bed cuz I am really sick please every one enjoy.

Gravitation

Disease of the mind 

They spread out at least 30 feet each way. Red framed the tips of each bottom row feather. They were a silken white, beautiful in all definition of the word. The soul purpose of them to creat a staircase in which I could climb to heaven. I knew at that moment that I was given a chance for a better life, finally I could be happy. I took another step forward and they spread apart again. I looked back at Luke and saw genuine fear in his eyes. Then replacing that emotion is another one…hunger…

"No! Your not suppose to make it to this stage…your…your…suppose to be dead…" He clenches his fist and looks to the ground. I feel a sympathy bleed through my heart for a split second then I utter softly.

"How…did this happen…" His eyes flash up to mine and he whispers.

"Blood of three spins the clock in reverse…that's the old rhyme your mother used to whisper to you every night before you went to bed. One night…when I asked her what it meant she said…"

"_Oh Lu-chan why are you so curious all of a sudden?" She looked at me kindly and patted my shoulder. _

"_I don't know I was just wondering…every time I pass you in his room you are whispering that to him. I didn't mean to intrude." I have to admit at your mothers hand on my shoulder and her looking so sweet and the way she always gave me little nicknames. I was quite taken with her and at that moment, of thinking I had made her upset, I blushed. _

"_Oh never Lu-chan I was just thinking that lately you have been fussing a lot over lil' Hiro could you be jealous…" She shot me that accusing look and giggled to herself. _

"_Me? Me…jealous of a four year old boy…never…why would you say that?" My eyes flickered to the floor and I blushed a little deeper. I heard the floor boards shift and looking up into her eyes she placed her hand on my cheek and whispered. _

"_It's not easy to hide puppy love…and I can feel it when I'm near you…" I grabbed her hand. I couldn't let her leave with out knowing what I was about to tell her. _

"_It's not puppy love…It's true…I love you so much Riana! So much…" She smiled softly and whispered back. _

"_It's puppy love Lu-Chan not true love." I began to get angry and letting go of her hand I whispered. _

"_Why do you treat me like a child Riana, I am the same age as you…" She looked toward the room and whispered _

"_I don't…I treat you as someone I love. You feel like a little brother to me one I care for with all of my heart." She pulled her hand up to her chest and gripped the material starring into your room. _

"_I want to be more than a brother…I want to be your's…" She turned back to me and whispered. _

"_I'm sorry but I love Roku…I love him more than anyone…I need him…I love you but I need him." My heart was breaking. I needed to have her but I knew she would always love your father. "the reason why I say that rhyme to Hiro is for his safety. He is a mix of two dangerous species. When he turns a certain age he will be confronted by someone who seak's revenge. He will need to know that rhyme in order to achieve his ultimate power. It mean's that once he mixes the blood of three elements he will become what he was meant to be. The first…blood of an angel…second, blood of a Vamporian and third, his own blood, Once that happens he will become what he was meant to be. He will become the prince he was born to be. To rule over three plains, Heaven, Earth, and Hell. Hell will be the most to strive for him…earth will need him…and heaven will guide him. He will know what to do once his time comes I know it…" she looked at you and I saw a glimmer of sorrow in her eyes. "I wish he wasn't born to such a sad fait."_

"_What if it's not sad…what if he saves everyone…you never know what could happen." Her eyes lit up and she looked my way. _

"_Do you really have faith in him?" Her happiness made me so happy and I knodded lightly walking toward your door. _

"_He may be a pip squeek but…he has a heart…one of the most amazing women in the world raised him." I looked at her and tears began to roll down her eyes so I held her and shushed her. She may not be mine but I still wanted to take care of her. _

That's what happened…that's what's going on…she asked me to watch over you that night and so I watched over you as best I could."

my anger filled my soul. I stepped forward and gripped the sword.

"So keeping my mother's word you killed her and tried to kill me?" He whipped his head up and starred me harshly in the eyes.

"I killed your mother to save her from your father!" I listened in disgust to what he was saying.

"My father would never hurt my mother!" Luke spat loudly

"You didn't know what I knew!" His eyes were burning and he stepped forward.

"What did you know Luke!" I was seething by now and suddenly his shoulders drooped and he dropped the sword slowly.

"My uncle was an elder…he watched over the faits of humanity…I brought her over to his office one day and he acted weird toward her so after she left I asked what it was that bothered him of her and he said. She will die soon. When I heard him utter those words I felt my world begin to fall apart. I never wanted your mother to die but he said she would. He said that the other elders were angry that such diverse species got together that they made a plan, sealed her fait. He was to go insane and kill your mother and you. I never found out why your father was supose to get angry but he was. I heard this and I couldn't sleep for a whole week. Every night I dreaded that soon your father would follow through with fait…

So I made a plan. I knew it would kill your mother to know her husband could do that to her, and her soul would never rest…so I…made it easier for her to hate. I made a plan, that the night of your christening I would step in front of your car and you guys would fly off the cliff to your death's. She then would have so much anger toward me and she would still have her heart full of happiness to be with her husband, happy for all eternity."

Tears streamed down Luke's face and I could tell he was telling the truth. I dropped my sword and walked toward him. I stopped in front of him and whispered.

"But you didn't kill my parents, I saw someone else in front of the car." He broke down and fell to the ground.

"I was set up my uncle made it seem like I had planned to massacre the whole family in cold blood for your thrown! None of the elders planned anything! I was set up and because I loved your mother I am in the place I am now!" I couldn't breath as I heard this and felt the sting of tears in my eyes. I leaned down and placing a hand on his shoulder whispered.

"How did you know this? Did someone tell you?" He looked at me and mumbled

"My uncle told me after I killed you guys, I didn't have the guts to kill you so I hired someone, I paid them a large fee to jump in front of your car. That guy testified against me. He said I was murderous and should be put away. He knew my reasons for killing you guys but he lied and said I wanted the thrown passionately and that I was jealous of your father for catching your mother's heart. I was sentence to even a worse fate then what I had before…I was sentenced to becoming what your father was…a Vamporian. They shoved me in a room full of them and watched me as I was made."

Luke was now hunched over crying loudly. His sob's were louder then any I had ever heard and before I knew it I was holding him. I couldn't let him go through this agony alone. I heard a low mumble and shifted him so I could hear him.

"Kill me…you're the only one who can do it. You have the abilitie to kill the undead…please…I would be happier to die and be freed of this torture." I thought of this hard and before I knew it I was above him with my sword held high. I positioned it over his head and coming down hard I sliced through his wings. He screamed out in pain and fell over. "W-why did you d-d-do that…" I dropped the sword and leaning down toward him I whispered.

"I freed you." His heart began to pound and at that moment he realized what I had done. His life of searching for a way out was gone. He was able to live with out the fear of being called to the heavens. I heard him whisper and moved closer.

"How do you know he won't just come for me again." I sat up and asked

"Who?" I saw his eyes widen ashe whispered.

"...him" His finger pointed behind me and before I knew it I had cold steele slicing through my stomach. Blood dripped down the center of my shirt and I hissed in pain. It was pulled out slowly and I stumbled foreward. I turned toward him and fell back. As I hit the cement I laid my head on the ground.

"His uncle is who he was speaking of. And if my nephew can't kill you then I will." He placed the blade at my neck and whispered. "The throne's mine." I heard a loud pop in my ears than voices

_stop him! _

_We need you please don't let him do it! _

_We have faith in you! _

_Please save us! _

Tears began to trickle down my face as I heard the voices and the rain began to beat down hard. I looked up into lifeless eyes and throwing my arm up, pushed my hand threw his chest. I grabbed onto the warm wet soft object and I twisted it. I saw his face pail and then I gripped it harder and ripped it out of his chest. It laid in my hand, veins dripping down my forearm and arteries sticking in between my fingers. Blood trickled down my forearm and onto my biceps. I looked up and watched as the man fell over on top of me. The air was knocked out of me and I struggled to push him off me. I gave up but suddenly he was lifted off me and I looked up into blazing red eyes. His hair blowed in the breez his raven black hair and I couldn't control myself. Luke? That couldn't be Luke…Luke is behind me…I felt warmth and realized at that moment who exactly it was.

"Give me your hand Roro kun let's go find Kiorou." I felt a rush of happiness at the sound of K's given name and whispered.

"Let's…" He pulled me up and we began to walk as I realized the angel guy who had helped me before was gone. I looked toward K and began to cry again. How could he just die like that, I needed to have him again? Klistelle gave me a gentle smile and whispered.

"I know a way to bring him back…" I gave it a thought and then whispered.

"How do I do it?"

A/N: to tired to right anything sorry byes everyone. Im so sorry again.


	17. Sorry

Im so sorry all I got into a car accident so the chapters are going to be coming a lil slow for a bit. I injured my arm and so i am a lil hurt, Im afraid this weeks chappy wont be coming but I will work really hard with my arm to get it to you. Sorry guys. Please bare with me.

A.T.D


	18. Prince Fights Back

**Disclaimer:** Hey hey I don't own gravi…well…I….uhh…I could…if I…wanted…you know…I…could…

**A/N:** Hey hey everyone im back hahahahahaahahahahh look at me go go go gogogogogoggooggoog hahaha Im fine now. After pain killers and such im fine now lol. I cant member some of the accident but that's okay. Hey all Im sorry for the longness. I will see all of you soon but Im to tired to write a big A/N see ya.

Gravitation  
**Disease of the mind**

_Prince fights back _

He gave me a gentle tug and whispered.

"You have to be fully willing to do this. You can't turn around once this is started. I wish you could but you can't." I was hesitant for a moment, I wasn't sure if it was the fact that for once in my life I had to make a life altering decision or the fact that I didn't know what this decision would be. I tilted my head to the side a slight amount and making my final decision, nodded.

"If it brings K back to me I will do anything." Klistelle pushed a lock of hair back and held his hand up to mine. I leaned down beside him and he pushed my body into K's. The force of it pushed the air out of my lungs and I was left gasping. I could feel his fingers digging into my wings and cried out in pain.

I felt him start to tear at one of my wings and suddenly something warm and wet slid down the center of my back. Tears rolled down my cheeks and I clenched my teeth. I dug my nails into the ground underneath me as I felt a vain snap in my back. I growled but took the pain. I bit down slicing my lip once I felt a bone crack and splinter in my wing. Warmth spilt on my spine and I howled loud for all to hear. A nerve ripped and I gasped out, tears now bombarded my vision blood pooled in my mouth from my lip and tongue. I could feel the tips of my fingers slicing into gravel and I whimpered.

His other hand came to my forehead and he calmingly stroked my hair out of the way. I knew at this moment that he had no intent on hurting me. I felt another bone break and shatter; I could hear the wet sound splert out from my bone and slide down the curve of my back. The pain was so large now that I could barely make a whimper, my voice was gone and I needed to get away. I went to move but as I shifted my head I saw K's angelic face. I gave up and lost myself in memories of K. I couldn't leave him, now. His smile lit up my days and I sighed in remembrance of the happiness I felt when I was around him. Though that didn't last long because there weren't much happy days.

I felt another vain ripped from my back and I howled. The blood that had collected in my mouth spilt onto the ground and pooled in front of me. I could see my tear streaked face in the blood that trickled from my mouth. My pained look took over every characteristic of my face and I begged for the agony to stop. Another bone snapped, pieces of it landing on the gravel making small rolling sounds. By now I was used to the sounds and I drowned them out. I could feel the ripping of the last ligaments and then I heard a large thump. I looked back and lying on the ground beside me was my left wing. I felt heat rise up my throat and I vomited in my mouth. I swallowed it back and decided I would get up since it was over.

I felt a heat released through my body and suddenly something began to crawl under my skin. Something was being pulled from deep with in me and I screamed grabbed my head and listened to the voice whispering. A tiny voice, it called to me and I wondered through my mind to hear it. Listen to it get hungrier. I slipped through walls and barriers. Each minute felt like an hour. I winced as the voices got louder.

Spell bound to the earth  
Footsteps left in the sand  
Drilled to the floor  
And hidden behind doors  
My love succeeds  
And begins to bleed  
Lust left in an open jar  
Creating shadows kept barred  
Oceans of tears  
Pooling in crystal's clear  
Whispered once  
Two to begin a new era

I screamed and blood dripped slowly from my wounds, they dripped and connected. Like vines on the garden walls. Interconnected and tangled. I felt a pull and clutched the ground. The blood began to lift and before I knew it the long string like paths of blood were wrapping around me. Tying me and pinning me to the earth, creating my own chains. I struggled to get loose and ripped at the ground. I felt a jolt of electricity then a ripping sound…my skin. I screamed a shrill horrified scream as light flashed through my eyes. The ground began to decay and fall apart underneath me. Flames licked up and caught me but I felt no pain to the burning skin but the ripping flesh made my head spin.

I clutched the binds on my wrist and seethed. My heart leapt from my chest as I felt something push through my back, Something leathery and thin. I screamed louder my whole body shaking as sounds of dripping wetness slipped from what ever was coming from my tortured flesh. I felt one last rip of skin and suddenly something rushed from my back. Something slammed out and caught the wind. I felt blood splatter onto my face and I struggled to move, but the blood held me down. I felt a wind pick up and suddenly there was a storm. Wind blew over car's my tattered clothing ruffled in the wind and my hair spun out around me. I felt warmth and light surrounded me, I looked down and caught what could only be described of as hell. There were things screaming, calling and grasping for me. I had an urge to go to them but at the same time I felt the urge to fly high until I know longer remained in the sky. I looked for an answer but couldn't find anything. My ears were being bombarded by things, voices, wind, thunder, burning, rain, and…pain…

I looked forward and found Klistelle clutching his head painfully. Everything I was hearing stopped and I felt the bind's loosened. I was being given a choice. I moved toward Klistelle and found I could walk over the fire. The wind sped up and I tried harder to move. Then I heard a calming voice and I was gone.

It was dark and then a blinding light surrounded me. I looked forward and found someone in front of me. I recognized the features and tears began to sting my eyes.

"Why Roro-kun long time no see." The man stood up and brushed off his shoulder.

"Must you brush this off Roku? I know how much this touches you!" The women playfully hit the man and he stiffened up.

"I am a man I am NOT "touched" I am…uh…interested." The women gave him a stupid look and then turned to me.

"Come here baby, give your mother a hug." I almost screamed as I jumped into her arms and tears rolled down my cheek's. She pushed me away a tad and smiled at me. "My how much you've grown up. I am so proud of you…" She gave me another smile and nudged me toward my father. I looked at him and then held out my hand. He looked at my hand and then held out his arms.

"I swear Riana, If anyone finds out about this…" He gave her a threatening look and then hugged me tight. I began to cry again and clutched his shirt. I let go of him after a while and stepped back to stare at them for a moment. I heard a chuckle and then my father mumbled. "I told you he would get my god look's. I bet he is quite the lady's man!" My mother gave him a light nudge and whispered.

"You mean man's man." I blushed deeply and looked away from them embarrassed. I heard a light giggle and then my mother mutter. "You knew that Roku stop pretending he isn't, you know you're still proud of him!" I looked back up astonished and watched as she smiled brightly and my father blushed.

"I know…I just wanted to teach him my pick up lines…" My mother frowned softly and mumbled.

"Even if he was…you wouldn't be…able…" I felt my heart tighten and she looked up at me. "We didn't bring you up here for a family reunion. We brought you up here to help you decide." My insides clenched and I bit my lip.

"You can…stay up hear with us and fight against the darkness overcoming us, you can return to earth and save your friend K, or you can take your thrown in the underworld and have the power of all hell. Please…if you are who I think you are I know you will know what is write to do." I could hardly hold my self up and then I heard her begin t speak again. "If you stay up hear everyone will be saved, if heaven is defeated in this war we are all doomed…but you have a decision still...what will it be? Please son do what is right…" I could feel the pain in her voice and I thought it through. Why did I have such a hard decision to make? I grabbed my mom's hand and nodding my head I made my final decision.

"I want to go to earth. If I leave K alone, my world is already destroyed." She sighed loud and looking at my hand she fell into my arms.

"I love you Hiroshi come back to me son. Once this is all over and your have lived your life come back to me." I gulped and pushing her softly away I felt a rush of wind surround me.

I was back on earth now, the sky was dark and everything was pelted with rain. I looked around and found the earth was splitting apart. The battle between heaven and hell was going on at that moment and earth was caught in the crossfire. I heard a scream and looked to my side where Klistelle was clutching his head. I ran to him fast but as I was about to grab him a force threw me back and a light took him over. I saw large wings fly out of his back, spraying blood onto the pavement. Silver hair flew out and his eyes were a burning gold…it was the angel. The one who had saved him before…the one who had died. He was heaving on the pavement and as I walked up to him I realized just what was going on. He looked toward me and whispered.

"I wanted to watch you closer so I got close to K, I knew he was destined to find you and protect you…I never thought I would fall in love with him. I was your guardian angel, I was sent to protect you but I got caught up in K, please forgive me…I should have been there for you, The whole time. I'm sorry." I felt sympathy for him and I held my hand out.

"I will forgive you if you help me win this battle…" His face looked up at me and he smiled.

"It would be my honor to serve you." He stood up slowly and standing straight, looked me in the eyes. I turned around and as I was about to run into the fight I saw something that astounded me. K was flying above the demon's attacking with blast of energy. I shot him a squinted look and realized it was him. "When your wing was torn off it was a ceremony we like to call the giving. By ripping off your wing, you gave K another chance at life. He used your wing and used it to his body to give him a second chance. He is now also an exquisite creature such as us." I jumped forward and flew fast to him. Once I was close enough I could barely speak his name.

"K? Kiorou is that you?" He spun around quickly and pausing for a mere moment he whispered.

"Hiro…" My thoughts were taken and I jumped into his arms. I held him as if I would lose him forever…again. I heard a loud sound and pulled away from him to see a demon thrown into one of the engulfed in flame cars.

I gave K one last look and I flew fast into the battle, punch8ing and kicking, spinning and flipping, dodging and tackling. Pools of blood and sweat were collecting in my torn jeans. I ripped open chest and tore off heads. Blood spilling and the sound of flesh ripping and burning. But as I realized soon after as soon as you killed one it would just repair itself. Everything was looking hopeless until I saw K. He stretched his arm out for and tore through the flesh on a demon. His nails were long and painted black or were they actually black. He looked as if he were a cat. Things started to flood back to me and I thought hard.

_Pooling in crystal's clear  
__Whispered once  
__Two to begin a new era_

Could it mean what I think? I flew toward him and taking his arm forcefully I pulled him toward me.

**A/N:** So that was my chappy lol. I'm soooooo tired but I just wanna say thankyou to everyone for worrying for lil old me. You shouldn't have. Luvs ya lots. I needa go. OOOHHH and P.S. some one emailed me wishing me better and I'm putting a review response at the bottom for them and you guys.

**Review Responses**-yes their back lol

**Yume Ishida the dream ang:** yeah it is kinda sad but for the amount of damage no one got seriously hurt. (Takes cookies gives some to you) for reading and reviewing my story. Byes

**Shuichi'sgirl:** I feel better already and its alll good so don't worry bout me hun! See ya

**Dark-Dreams-69: **LOL I know their great lol. Don't apologize and I won't pressure you to read for a while I know you got a lot to deal with. See ya hun.

**LittleMissYaoi:** awww only if you want to lol. Yeah I don't swim much anymore so its all good lol. Though I am more tired then ever. Naw I didn't get them to do tooooooo much for me. byes

**Ryuichi Sakuma: **You are soooooo adorable I mean you are soooooo cute. I read your review and it made me smile even though I was in pain lol. I want him to come VISITE! And YOU! Hheheheh I'm all Pika Pika again lol. I got better see ya.

**ScarlettAdmirer:** Yeah I'm pretty sure I'm okay lol. I am wayyyy better lol. I did take my time and I'm great now. See you soon!

**Email Response**

_I read your fanfic online, and i just saw the last update. I know it may be weird hearing from a stranger, but i just hope you get well quickly. I thought maybe hearing it from a fan might make you smile! Well, as i said, get well soon, and nice work with your story. _

_Dani aka Saint Lucifer-The Damned _

Don't ever feel weird for wishing me better that's one of the most absurd things I have ever heard. You are really sweet for saying that and I thank you with all my heart. This really shines a new light on my reviewers. I love you all and you mean the world to me. You guys have pulled me through everything and I'm so glad I have you. After getting this email I was so happy that I couldn't stop smiling. I almost started crying. Thank you Dani Thank you so much.

I love you all.

**A.T.D a.k.a. Sandy (yes, yes my name is Sandy well more specifically Sandra) **


	19. Returned

**Disclaimer:** I do not, nor have I ever owned Inuyasha…I mean…Gravi…Gravitation lol.

**A/N:** Iv decided that since these are my last few chapters I am going to write the A/N while I am writing the chapter and not when I post. I am doing this so you guys can get closer to me on a higher level. Right now I'm at the beginning of the second paragraph. I really don't know where I'm going with this. I kinda let my fingers do the magic.

Gravitation

**Disease of the mind **

_Returned _

His body rammed into mine hard, knocking the air out of me. He looked at me as if I were insane, then as if reading my mind he seemed to get everything. I looked into his eyes and they seemed to become like icy flames. Hues of blue I had never seen before. I wanted to know why it had to be chosen that we would be tortured. I took one last look at him and then before a second could pass I pressed my lips against his, soft plump lips pushing back hard enough to steel your breath.

I could feel a raising inside myself and a breaking, not a painful breaking but a breaking none the less. It overwhelmed me. I felt his arms wrap around me and I pushed closer. I drowned myself in his body, his scent, and his touch. I was like a dessert getting its first sweet taste of water.

Then…

Everything…

Made…

Sense…

_The night of the car accident…I had been sitting in my car seat. My mother and father were joking. I could feel a pressure on the verge of hungering torturing vengeful feeling. I looked out the windshield and gold eyes burned into mine, Eyes that could hide nothing. I saw right into his thoughts his past, everything he had done. _

_An older boy talking to the gold eyed man. Plans of killing innocent people…my parents. The older boy is talking to the gold one of killing my parents. _

"_All I need you to do is make sure the parents die, don't play with them just make it quick. The boy is to young he won't remember. I would not wish such a sad fait on the boy. Can you promise me that you won't torture them." The gold-eyed man turn's around and taking a long drag of his cigarette mumbles. _

"_I don't believe in promises, they only end up in heart ache. But I will ask you a question. Why do you wish death on someone who you care so much about?" The other mans eyes glaze over and he mumbles. _

"_It's because I care that I kill her. But if you hurt the boy I will kill you." The man changes into something I fear and I realize that this is…Luke…His eyes skimmed over the facial features of the other and the gold man disappeared. _

_I find myself in the ally as the man walks away. _

"_Little do you know Lu-chan I have things with that BOY, more than you know. If I am to live remotely happy I must kill this boy. He is to go after my Shuichi and that is one thing I can't handle. Shuichi will be mine. Hiro will not even dream of that angel. Even if I have to sell my soul to the devil." My blood is over heating. _

_He plans to kill me in the crash. He stand's in the middle of the road waiting…calmly. He knows that my father will swerve and that is just what he does. Seeing Yuki's body he spin's the wheel and we go flying in the air. Down, down I feel a warmth and I feel a presence. I look out my window and find Klistelle. He rip's the door off and the air pressure changes bursting toward me. He grabs me out of the chair and flying up he lands softly on the ground. _

_I hear the crash and my world begins to collide with the amount of oxygen in my lungs. He sits with me for a bit shushing me to calm. I hear sirens and he leaves. I am given to my godparents and I'm welcomed with open arms. _

_I am sitting on the floor one day playing with a plush teddy. When I knocking comes to the door, I get a deep sickening feeling but brush it off. I begin to giggle but as my godmother reaches for the handle, she backs off. I begin to wail as the door is opened with ease. I look into predatorily gold eyes. Yuki walks in and trapping my godmother against a wall he pulls the trigger of his 34.mil, her body makes a sickening sound against the floor and I cry louder. _

_This woman had taken me in happily and watched over me and how do I repay her, get her killed. I hear the loud workman's boots of my godfathers and begin to cry louder, maybe if he hears me he will leave. To my horror this just makes my godfather run faster. I watch as Yuki turns around and pointing the gun to my godfathers position waits. My godfather burst through the door and comes face first to the end of Yuki's gone. _

_Yuki pull's my godfather's head back viciously as he struggles against it. I watch as Yuki pushes the gun into his mouth and blows his head off. _

_Theirs another sickening thud and Yuki walks toward me. I can feel impending doom settle on my heart but before I can ready myself. I feel a warmth and Yuki back's off shielding his face. I don't know what from but there is obviously something up. Theirs a light and then the scene is gone. Klistelle is holding me and breathing out heavily he smiles down and whispers. It's a good thing that guy 'sold his soul to the devil' he was burned by the light. _

_This happens time and time again. I am sent somewhere new, then Yuki causes trouble and I am sent away. People begin to call me a demon and a curse no one wants me. They are afraid of me. So they send me to the only place left…an orphanage. By this time I already hate everyone for what they put me through so it doesn't take me long to become even more of an outcast from the others. _

_I push everyone away and I am happy that I do. If anyone were to try to be my friend I would ignore them. If they didn't listen then I would scream and make them wish they hadn't even talked to me. I would go to great length's to make people go away. If they became my friend they would just die. _

_They Klistelle came. He was older but from the rumor's I heard his parents had over dosed and he was hear for a long time. As always I ignored him, He attempted to talk to me a lot so I gave in finally and talked to him. He became attached to me and I couldn't take knowing he would die. _

_We sat outside the orphanage on the curb telling jokes and talking. I had finally made a decision to get him to leave me. As he stood to get up I pushed him into the road. He let out a loud yelp as a car impacted with his body and he was sent flying. I watched as he cried and bled on the road. The man in the car ran out and picked up Klistelle. He ran him to the reverend and screamed that the boy get medical attention. _

_I was brought in after that incident for a talking to. Both me and the Reverend knew that it was no accident, that the whole thing was planned but Klistelle refused to admit it. _

I suddenly knew everything that went on when I wasn't there.

"_Just admit it Klistelle, it will make it easier on you to just tell me what happened…" _

"_But I told you I was laughing and lost my balance." _

"_The man in the car said it looked like you were pushed by Nakano" _

"_You're going to believe a stranger over your children." _

"_Nakano is not-uh but he was certain." _

"_Well HE was wrong!" _

"_I don't want to hurt you Klistelle, but if you stay with that…with Nakano you're faith will be in grave danger." _

"_Then so be it! He is my friend and will be for a long time!" _

"_Look we're both adults he…" _

"_NO! I'm an adult YOU'RE A child!" _

Then I walked into the room, I guess Klistelle didn't want me to see him angry. I would have never guessed he fought against the reverend that much but alas I now knew.

My head was pounding from the images but I was dealing with them, one blast at a time.

The next few years flew past. I could see myself hungering for Klistelle's attention and push away anyone who tried to interfere. My anger was taking control of me…

"_So…do you have a partner for that big science project yet?" _

"_Yeah I do…sorry James asked me the day we got them. I couldn't turn him down I didn't think anyone else wanted me as there partner." _

"_Oh…wait! You mean James Griffin?" _

"_Yeah that's him…" _

"_Oh…you really should've said no, he doesn't do anything. He just sits there and makes Sarcastic remark's" _

"_I think it's cute how he does that, it's like his defense mechanism, we all have them. I don't know I'll try him out this time, you never know. He could surprise all of us?" _

_I stomped off after that but thanks to the image I could now see why he became my science partner anyway. _

"_Hey James! Can I talk to you?" I could see James walks over to Klistelle and leaning on the wall mumbled a reply. _

"_I was just wondering, what part of the project are you going to handle?" _

"_Eh…whatever you want me to…" I could see the thought cross through his mind then he looked at me and turning to James said. _

"_Look I just remembered I promised someone else I would be there partner…sorry" He than ran off and I could hear the quiet reply of James._

"_You'll regret that Klistelle…" _

Nothing else came to me then a flash burned through my brain and a feeling of snapping caressed my throat. I opened my eyes and the thrust of a sword through my abdomen brought me to. I was thrown through the air and painfully skidded across wet cement.

The war was on and I was missing it. I stood up and grabbing a near by sword I jumped into the middle. My back was heating up where my wings were eager to take flight. I pushed forward and began to slice.

I ripped the head off a drooling wolverine. It's flaming eyes forced anything back as I threw it into the arms of a winged female reptile of some sort. Then without warning I pushed my sword to the hilt through both those angry eyes and the reptile. She screeched and using her claw took a chunk from my arm.

I could see the muscle twitch and the white under it drives my world into darkness. Crimson tears dripped from the deep crevasse I held now.

I had an overwhelming anger fill me and grabbing her dirty claw I grabbed the mass of muscle, skin and veins and shoved it down her throat. I broke through the bronchia, into the lung. Forcing my wet fingers through the thin barrier. I searched inside her for the organ I wanted, listening to the sounds of agony and snapping as wet veins pulled from her body and I replaced her heart with my left over's.

She fell to the ground with in moments and I had a sickening happiness to her demise.

I could here K's distant cry and turned to hear him yelling.

"Hiro! Please think! Don't let the darkness inside take over."

It was now clear to me…I wasn't only in a battle between worlds. I was in a battle between wills. My dark and light side…which side could I take. They both would lead to my demise. Suddenly I wasn't so proud to know my past.

**A/N:** HEY HEY! I cant believe I took so long to update but I will tell you why. The reason is cuz I have a lil writers block. Im sorry if this chappy is really boring and bad but I really tried hard on it, please understand I am trying to get every loop hole, so work with me k? I will try to get them done on a weekly bases from now on. See ya.

**R&R**


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